Take this as a sign to not be friends with an ex…
Whilst yes it seems like an obvious case to not put yourself into this situation, I thought my situation was different and I need to vent somewhere with my dunce hat on. But in the case of TLDR: Lesbians are evil and i’m out of comission
She (22F) broke up with me (20F) in December last year due to some complicated situations revolving around both of our mental health and the long distance (2 hour drive is too hard apparently…). Whilst it was her terms I understood why and came to realise our relationship would have deteriorated anyway due to my personal circumstances.
In February we had started semi talking again, starting off as mental health check ins that evolved into a friendship (mistake 1). I discussed this with friends who agreed she wasn’t evil and it isn’t an awful idea. She initiated the idea of coming over to my place and hanging out and it became a bit of a routine, she’d come over, we’d get high, and chat shit together, somehow she made more free time for this than our actual relationship. It was honestly a really healing time for both of us though.
At some point on a phone call she had confessed that she still had unresolved feelings, I told her how conflicted this makes me feel after being the person who was broken up with and I needed time to process this. She apologised for confessing and said “All I know is I value you very much and need you in my life.” It seems some T&Cs weren’t added to this statement…
However, at a point of weakness in my self respect, we started flirting again and had this flirty vibe about the friendship that turned intimate on occasion… (mistake 2)
The main thing to note about our friendship is that first and foremost we became big emotional supports for eachother, we knew eachother on such a deep level from our relationship so it was easy to talk (mistake 3). We discussed the limitations of our relationship and how neither of us could be in a stable relationship and if either of us were to meet someone, it would be best to have a discussion with the likelihood of cutting contact out of respect. (consider this my foreshadowing)
Fast forward to now, after constant hangouts, talking, and establishing herself back into my life as a close friend to the point of interacting with my other friends. I have woken up in the morning to find she’s removed herself from my instagram, snapchat, and facebook, very odd behaviour from her… and in an attempt to text and call I realise i’ve been blocked. In a reach for answers I message her on messenger, she reads it, and now i’m blocked on facebook, instagram, and tiktok.
This is where the panic sets in, my immediate thoughts are that i’ve done something to hurt her or she’s going through something severe. I am someone who values both communication and accountability, so thinking that this is acceptable is something I wont let her believe. Unfortunately for her, her lovely parents have my number and are quite fond of me so her mother gets a sweet message from me asking what the deal is, to her surprise, she’s just as shocked as me.
About an hour after this, I receive a ~very~ formal text message after being unblocked from instagram: “I’m ok, but I’ve met someone and to be respectful towards them I thought it would be for the best. I apologise for how I went about it. I hope life treats you well.” Then a swift block afterwards to ensure no words of mine could be shared.
So whilst we had established the importance of communication, that seemed to be forgotten. And yes, mayhaps it is respectful for the new partner, but also I believe i’d have deserved greater dignity than erasure from someone’s life after basically playing the part of a girlfriend emotionally. Respect must be a scarce resource that can’t be shared by her it seems…
I will say, I’m quite a competitive person, and i’ve never been blocked on anything, so to be blocked on 5 platforms in one day without trying is quite impressive. Maybe i’ll go for the spotify and email block too if I’m feeling daring.
The benefit of this situation is that compared to a breakup that shattered me. This whole situation is a lovely slap in the face to knowing her true character and taken off the rose coloured glasses, so rather than grief i’m just glad to have a reason to despise her. Top it off with a deep hope in the future she feels at least a sprinkle of guilt or regret for not approaching this situation maturely and decided to blindside me instead.
I will, however, miss my portable charger that I doubt will be returned…
- A masc lesbian who needs more self respect against unfortunately attractive women