u/Dancerqueer

We have been together for five years and have been struggling with lack of sex because of his low libido for more than a year. Yesterday he initiated but he was basically half asleep, so not much came from it (especially not me LOL), so it was basically worse than nothing because it just left me feeling even more frustrated. Today I told him I was agitated yesterday because I have been feeling sexually frustrated for a long while, and thus it's annoying to not finish during sex (he did try but I mean, he literally fell asleep mid oral, not too sexy) when it finally does happen. I wasn't blaming him at all btw, just told him how I was feeling. Aaaand to that he said "well, but the important question is, WHY do you want to orgasm?" I lost it a bit, he was like "but wait you didn't even hear me out!!!" And then he basically said that maybe I want to orgasm because I want to please him somehow or I feel pressured to perform and I should let go of that and not want to orgasm this much?? Like bro, maybe I want to finish because IT FEELS GOOD? How are you gonna make it a me issue that I want to cum during sex??? Like jeez, sorry I guess for wanting to feel satisfied.

Vegan carbonara with smoked tofu and salad (actually lunch I ate today at the only vegan place in my hometown lol)

Edit: no depression, porn addiction, or low T on his end btw

Edit 2: I got a lot of comments mentioning sex toys, I do appreciate the advice don't get me wrong, but I use them already and they are not a magic fix to every problem. I like feeling connected, I don't like to constantly have to do all the work to cum every single time we have sex, because then I could also just masturbate. I'm of course happy to add them at times, but I don't like relying on them 100% of the time. Also, I find it hard to orgasm due to my previous porn addiction that I am working on in therapy, so him not being able to make me cum is almost never due to the fact that he doesn't try or that he is bad at sex. There were times when he got a bit lazy about it unfortunately but we sorted that out in the past. What hurt me in this situation is that we both know that I have this issue, we talked about it before, and I wasn't blaming him for being frustrated because I know that sometimes not being able to orgasm is a me problem. However, I still wanted to be able to talk to him about this, and about the fact that we rarely have sex these days without getting interrogated about why I want to finish, because it really gave me the feeling that he didn't want to take responsibility for his low libido, and instead wanted to frame it as me focusing too much on orgasm. Which doesn't even make sense because my frustration also stems from the lack of sex itself, which was the main thing that I was focusing on yesterday.