Hello Charlotte and Potato-heads! I've come with tidings of bullshittery and need advice. The following has been altered for anonymity. I must disclose two things about myself before we get into the story:
- I am an Aquarius, mid-30s, 5'3, and let's call me Quinn.
- I used to be a perpetual people pleaser with mommy issues, then one day, during my second year of college, after being walked over by a " friend," I learned who my inner bitch was, and what birthed my villain origin story. Immature people are useless to me.
Fast forward to where we are now - I grew up in a major city. When college came around, it was just me and a small number of my high school friends who went out of state. That was the best part of coming home for the holidays: everyone had accumulated friends who would end up being in the same place, like where I met my now BFF, Zoe, at a winter party. She grew up on the opposite coast and was attending art school with my high school bestie, Taylor. Zoe and I connected on Hilary Duff's discography and point-and-shoot cameras. We exchange numbers and socials and stay connected throughout the years.
Right now, Zoe and I live together, and we didn't get there without her ex-fiancé. A good four years ago, this man ruined his life with a lie. A lie so grand within the surrounding friend groups that afterward, no one wanted to be associated with him. I'm going to call him Guy, because really, he's just a guy, a really brainless dimwite of a guy. I cannot tell you the lie because the domino (legal) effect is still occurring.
Shortly after the lie was exposed, my friend Zoe had to meet up with him for a quick chat. I was asked to be in a store near the cafe where they planned to meet. Going into everything, I was fine, cool-headed, just deciding to buy a new fiction book or a poetry book. Then I got a text notification saying she was ready for me to come "pick her up." On my way out, I literally bumped into a college friend I hadn't seen since graduating. I get another text ping, I try to say I can't to her, and then I see my friend leaving the cafe with him following behind. I screamed his name, then called him every name in the book as I got closer to him. There was no shouting, just telling Guy just how much I hate every bone in his body. He's taller than me, so watching him step back and wave his hands like I'm going to hit him just showed people in the vicinity I was not to be trifled with. Guy's mind finally got the memo, yelled out a sorry, and ran away. Zoe was, of course, stunned and scared by this version of me. My grade school friends call it Mama Bear Quinn, and it was her first sighting. After a minute, she thanked me with a smile and said she needed a drink.
It's been a year and some months now, and though I know Guy would know why I did what I did, he's messaged Zoe six times since then to understand that day. I knew Guy before the relationship, hell, I used to give him advice on life, but now he's so hell-bent on getting an explanation, I got a few friends saying I should write him an apology the next time Zoe has to interact with him. Zoe was the one who originally asked me to write a letter and told me it would just stop him from continuing the conversation she is tired of having. I'm very torn between the devil and angel on my shoulders, though everything in me is saying I don't need to explain myself. Would I be an asshole for not wanting to apologize? And better yet, since Zoe hasn't expressed this, do you think she might end the friendship if I don't do it? Living with her and our other mutual friend has been amazing, but now this new line of thinking has gotten me too worried about ruining a great living situation. So Potatoes, yay or nay to this apology letter?