(My message is in the blue bubble and his is in the white bubble)
I’ve been on and off with my bf for about 3 yrs, I’m 27F and he’s 31, my boyfriend work as a nurse and I’m currently finishing up my clinical for SPT. I asked him earlier in our relationship if he wanted to have kids and at one point he stated he didn’t and he would like to adopt he later stated he was just joking he and he did want to have kids in the future. We went out a few nights ago and we had the conversation about kids again, I explain to him why I would want kids and why wouldn’t. I explain to him I want to have kids when I’m financially prepared, have my own place etc because I don’t want my child to struggle. He knows I love to cook and one of my wish is to have a grand kitchen where I can cook food for my kids or husband to come home to, from me saying that it’s clear that I wanted a family. I realize he didn’t talk about kids or marriage unless I bring it up so I had a feeling he didn’t want that but I wasn’t sure because we just aren’t ready as of yet for those things but it is the goal for me in the future. So in the message he basically told me he lowkey doesn’t think he want to get married and as u can see he list all the reasons why he didn’t want it, which lead me to believe this was something he thought about deeply before reaching that conclusion. I was hurt at the fact that it seem like he knew for a while he didn’t want marriage or kids and did not tell me. He’s only mentioning it now that I brought up the topic. I never asked him to marry me or have kids with me currently but if I’m in a relationship with someone I expected that, that is a long term goal between us. Then following day I did asked him again about what he wanted, he told me that he was just asking what if he doesn’t want that, he wasn’t trying to tell me he didn’t want it 100% then it changed again to him saying he doesn’t want it at all. In the text too he said he wanted freedom. I also get the idea that he just wants to be with anyone and leave whenever he wants with no ties. He basically wasted my time.