2 Years Later Update
I couldn’t sleep and this has been on my mind so wanted to put it out there.
I (40f) was with Q (44m) since 2019 and his drinking was very severe- binge drinker severe. The 5 years I was with him, there were a handful of trips to the ER and was admitted twice. His family and I thought we were just inevitably waiting for him to die from his drinking since he couldn’t manage to stay sober after SLE (sober living environment) and a month in a very expensive rehab. When he was in these places, he was able to stay sober and clean, but a week after leaving, he would relapse. On top of all this, we of course broke up on and off due to the drinking and broken promises of staying sober.
Beginning of 2024, about 6 months after rehab where he relapsed a month of leaving rehab, he joined AA and basically has been sober since then. He hit 2 years sober a few months ago, made amends to me (which wasn’t what I expected- it was nice but underwhelming?) and continues to remain sober.
I found myself recently grieving him again, in the sense that we have no romantic relationship now and it was all I ever wanted was to see him sober and we remained together but it played out how I’ve read so many times- they get sober for a few months and break off the relationship.
On one hand, I’m aware sobriety isn’t guaranteed and it all can change so I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore but of course, I’ve also been grieving the what ifs of being in a relationship when he’s had a long stretch of sobriety.