Asking for a 'friend' who is a researcher. When she published one of her first papers, someone in the scientific community emailed her with some brilliant questions and input. They’ve kept in touch via email ever since.
She's had a massive intellectual crush on that person this whole time, but they live in different countries and she always assumed he was a much older man, possibly even married. Their email conversation were always about scientific research but even then he came across as funny and witty.
Recently, they met at a conference for the first time. Plot twist: He is very much not an old man! He’s actually hot, and the physical attraction is intensely mutual.
The issue she's having now is that she is ethically opposed to having kids but knows that he loves kids. His research is centred around curing childhood diseases and he has once mentioned jokingly that he wanted at least 3.
My question is: when would you say is the right time to bring up that she doesn't want kids? She doesn't want to lead him on but neither does she want to appear presumptuous by assuming that if he did want kids he would want them with her.
TL;DR: years of intellectual pining over email turned into a hot encounter at a conference. She's firm on no kids but he loves kids. How does she tell him without making it weird or assuming too much?