Struggling with leaving my life in Pakistan behind
I (24F) moved to Canada from Pakistan a couple of months ago with my family, and I’m really struggling with the adjustment. I don’t just miss Pakistan - i miss my life in Lahore. I had my own apartment, a great group of friends, a social life, financial freedom and the ability to go wherever I wanted. I could make spontaneous plans, Uber everywhere, dress up, go out etc and cheap labour helped me manage my household very easily. I had finally built a life that i had worked towards all my life and I was genuinely happy. Now, even though I’m grateful to have family here and I know Canada offers opportunities, I feel like I’ve lost so much of my independence. I’m starting over with my career, finances, social life and sense of belonging. I’m making new friends, which is going better than expected, but building new connections takes time, and it doesn’t replace the comfort of having your people around you. I feel guilty sometimes because I know I’m privileged to have this opportunity, but I also feel like people underestimate how hard it is to leave behind a life you actually loved, rather than one you wanted to escape. Realistically, I’ll be here for several years, and I want to make it work, but I miss my old life so much that it’s hard to feel excited about building a new one.
For those who immigrated to Canada or moved abroad in their twenties, especially from Pakistan:
- How long did it take to feel at home?
- How did you cope with missing your old life, friends and independence?
- Did you eventually build a life you loved just as much?
- How did you stop comparing your life abroad to the one you left behind?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced this, especially those who were genuinely happy back home. I could use some honest advice and reassurance that this gets easier.