r/pakistan

Hi everyone,

I live in the UK, originally I am from India. I have lot of colleagues from Pakistan who are very close to me. We frequently meet outside for visiting to restaurants and movies and always share topics about cricket, tourism, politics, and movies during our casual discussions. He likes to visit all metro cities in India, and experience journey in Indian Railways. I always like to visit Hinglaj Mata Temple in Pakistan. I also met many Pakistanis out of my work place, and while visiting France and Switzerland. They all feel proud of being Pakistani same as like I feel proud of being an Indian, but they always mention they don’t like their government, and always praise Imran Khan, and will say Pakistan is in this condition due Military and also they are proud of Pakistan Army. They say, no industries or jobs in Pakistan and says election process is not democratic like in India, and courts don’t work like in India. I would like to know, what I hear from overseas Pakistanis is true or they are mentioning due to political reasons? I genuinely interested to know as we are neighbours.

Note: Request for moderators to not remove this post as I genuinely interested to know realistic situations and no political motive behind it.

Thank you.

How do some army brats manage to accumulate such wealth? It’s surprising to see individuals with salaries ranging from 100k to 200k living in mansions in DHA. What kind of work or opportunities are they involved in that allows for such a lifestyle, especially if they’ve come from a background that often involves hard, physical labor? Can someone explain this disparity

Hi, to start I’m a 22 year old Pakistani but I was born in the UK. My Urdu and Punjabi are conversational at best but I believe I have good pronunciation.

I sometimes hear native Pakistanis (particularly girls and somewhat feminine boys) speak Urdu online and they speak Urdu with the American “r”, think of words like “kar” or “zaroor”. Are they doing it on purpose? They also seem to include the high-rising terminals and vocal fry. The combination is funny to me, why are these people trying to sound like American valley-girls?

I am probably going to piss off a lot of people in the rehab industry in Pakistan by saying this but honestly at this point I do not care that much

a lot of what is happening in the name of rehab here is straight up illegal immoral and against basic human rights

I work in rehab so I am not saying this as some outsider who has never seen addiction up close. I know patients lie. I know they manipulate. I know families get destroyed. I know parents reach a point where they feel like they have no option left. I know relapse can make everyone around the patient go insane

but none of that gives anyone the right to kidnap someone in the name of admission

none of that gives a centre the right to beat a patient and call it discipline

none of that makes illegal confinement okay

and addiction does not magically make a human being lose all rights

This is the part people in Pakistan do not want to talk about. A lot of families are so desperate they will accept anything if someone says “we will fix him”. Then some centres use that desperation as permission to pick people up by force, lock them inside, shame them, slap them, threaten them, and basically run a private jail with a rehab board outside

and then everyone acts like this is normal

It is not normal

It is not treatment

It is not Islam

It is not psychology

It is not rehabilitation

It is just violence with a medical sounding excuse

Even Pakistan’s Mental Health Ordinance 2001 does not give people some open license to abduct, confine, beat, chain or break patients. There is supposed to be informed consent, legal process, medical justification, limits, rights, appeals, and protection from ill treatment. Drug addiction alone does not mean a person can just be treated like property

And yes rehabilitation needs structure. I am not saying let everyone do whatever they want. Rehab needs routine, boundaries, consequences, accountability, and sometimes very firm handling

but firm does not mean violent

discipline does not mean humiliation

treatment does not mean kidnapping

and care does not mean breaking someone until he becomes obedient

I think Pakistan badly needs proper rehab services. Addiction is destroying families. But we also need to be honest that some of the current rehab culture is creating more trauma and calling it recovery

A patient is still a human being

even when he relapses

even when he lies

even when his family is tired

even when he is difficult

If our system can only “treat” people by removing their dignity first then maybe the system itself needs rehab

**Need advice about my fiancé. Am I overthinking this?**

I (31F) have been engaged to my fiancé (32M) since childhood. Our families had arranged our engagement when we were young. About three years ago, the engagement was broken due to misunderstandings that were mainly created by his sister. After three years, he came back and approached my family again, saying that he had never thought about marrying anyone else and that he only wanted to marry me.

He has been living in Ireland for the past five years and is well settled there.

However, after getting engaged again, he asked for another year before getting married.

Now here's what is bothering me.

I had only completed 12th grade and a few diplomas. On his insistence, I enrolled in a two-year bachelor's degree program. But now he constantly pressures me to do a four-year bachelor's degree instead, then complete an MBA in Pakistan. He also keeps insisting that I learn French, even though the course is very expensive. His solution is that I should ask my brother to pay for it.

The problem is that my brother is already paying for my university fees and is carrying almost all the financial responsibilities of our family. I feel guilty asking him for even more money.

My fiancé keeps saying that he doesn't want his future wife to be "backward." He brings this up repeatedly, almost every day. He also comments on small things that bother me. For example, he once asked why I buy new abayas so often and said that one abaya should easily last three years.

Most of our conversations revolve around religion. Every day he asks if I prayed. If I say yes, he immediately asks whether I prayed Tahajjud as well. I respect religion and I pray, but I feel like I'm constantly being monitored or judged instead of supported.

Another thing that worries me is that he never talks about what will happen after marriage. He has never brought up applying for my visa to Ireland or discussed any practical plans for us living together. Everything seems to be focused on what I should study, what languages I should learn, and how I should improve myself.

I'm honestly exhausted by the constant pressure.

How can I politely ask him whether he actually plans to apply for my move to Ireland after marriage? And overall, do you think these are reasonable expectations from a partner, or are these red flags that I shouldn't ignore?

A couple of days back, I read a post saying:
I am supporting Muslim teams in this FIFA WC and pray for them to win!!

Now it may look like a pretty harmless statement but it is way deeper than it sounds. What has religion to do with sports at all?

In the aftermaths of 2021 WC win over India, Sheikh Rasheed tweeted:
Saari ummat e muslima ko hindustan kay khilaf jeet mubarak ho!!

Again, it doesn't seem to be problematic, but iska matlab yay hua kay whenever we lose to India, ummat e muslimah gets defeated by hindus?

Football dekhty hon ya na dekhty hon, Mo Salah kay peechay lag gye kay he deserves Ballon d'Or. Mtlb sab merit, sab justice, sab critical thinking gayi bhaar men bass Mo Salah kay tends chala do q kay wo Muslim hay.

Phir jee Ronaldo nay bismillah parh lee penalty sy pehly toh usko sarr parr charha lia. Bhai how is this a valid criteria to judge someone as a player?

Messi q kay Israel visit kar aya toh usko troll krty rhengy.

Even as decorated a sportsman as Waqar Younas said, Rizwan ko hindus kay darmean namaz parhta dekh kar iman taza hgya!!

This is a a very deep rot in our thinking and critical ability. Idk how to explain it even.

Hello, my best friend of 13 years recently lost her father in a tragic accident two days ago. I am unfortunately across the country and am unable to see her in person. Today was the Janazah prayer and burial. I am looking to be able to send her, her mother and her brother something for my condolences. I know it is traditional to bring food or simply visit an offer condolences, but as that is not an option for me, would it be inappropriate to send flowers? They would only contain a couple white flowers with some greenery, nothing extravagant or “cheerful” that may be considered rude for the occasion. I am very close with her family and have practically grown up with them, so I’m sure they would appreciate any gesture, but if anyone has any recommendations I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you.

I don’t really know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just need someone to listen because I don’t have anyone I can truly talk to.
My life feels miserable right now.
My family and I are financially dependent on our relatives. Every single expense has to be approved by them. Whether it’s university fees, groceries, or anything else, we have to ask. They decided to support my education because they believe that one day I’ll graduate, earn enough to stand on my own feet, and take care of my family—especially my sister, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2022.
I’m grateful for everything they’ve done. They provide us with many of the things we need, and I don’t deny that. But being completely dependent on someone else’s money comes with a price. Since they are the ones earning, we have to live by their rules. We have to stay quiet, be patient, and accept whatever is said, even when it hurts. Sometimes it feels like we don’t have the right to express our feelings because we’re afraid of being seen as ungrateful.
The hardest part is remembering what life used to be.
Six years ago, we were financially independent. We lived in Saudi Arabia, paid our own bills, and handled our own responsibilities. My sister wasn’t ill, and life felt normal. I never imagined everything could fall apart so quickly.
Now I’m studying for a BS in Accounting and Finance. I have registered for a summer course that I must pass before moving on to my final year. The problem is that I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to pay for it.
The course fee is PKR 27,740, but my part-time job only pays PKR 15,000 a month. Even if I spent my entire salary on tuition, it still wouldn’t be enough. There would be nothing left for transportation, food, or anything else.
I asked my relatives if they could help me just this once, but instead I was told, “You should have passed the course the first time.” Then they said, “You earn money now. Pay for it yourself.”
Those words broke me.
I know I made mistakes. I know I should have passed. I already carry that guilt every single day. But hearing those words when I’m trying so hard to finish my degree made me feel like all my efforts meant nothing.
I work while studying because I don’t want to depend on anyone forever. My only goal is to graduate, find a stable job, support my family, and make sure my sister gets the care she deserves. Yet every step forward feels like another wall is placed in front of me.
Sometimes I lie awake wondering if I’ll ever escape this cycle. It feels like no matter how hard I try, something else goes wrong. Every time I think I’m getting closer to building a better future, financial problems pull me back to where I started.
I’m exhausted—not just physically, but mentally. Living with constant uncertainty, worrying about money every day, watching someone you love struggle with a serious mental illness, and feeling powerless to change any of it… it’s a kind of pain that’s difficult to put into words.
I don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this. Maybe I just needed to let it out. Maybe I just want to know if anyone else has ever felt trapped like this, where you’re trying your hardest to move forward, but life keeps reminding you how little control you actually have.

Just what the title says. After the previous discussions under my first post, I understood the reasoning behind taking multiple wives. men with multiple wives don't love all of them equally. there's definitely a favourite. Which wife is usually a man's favourite out of the wives? Any real life experiences? Prefer answers from men.

I'm in a difficult situation and genuinely want honest advice.

A friend of mine (29) is about to marry a distant cousin from a very religious family. Before this engagement, I personally saw prostitutes come to his house, and he also admitted this lifestyle to me himself. He tells his stories with prostitutes like it's his big life achievements.

What bothers me is that he presents himself as very religious to the bride's family. He said to their family: " mujhe wedding function main complete pardah chahiye. Koi Meri wife ko na dekhe".

He usually made extreme statements infront of me like, "If I even suspect my wife of cheating, I'll kill her, hum Syed Hain" while at the same time making vulgar jokes about other people's wives. He often make vulgar jokes even about his friends wife's.

In two days, the bride's brother wants to meet me along with this friend. I'm torn between three options:

Tell the brother privately what I personally know.

Say it in front of my friend so he has a chance to respond.

Stay out of it completely.

I'm not interested in revenge or drama. I'm genuinely wondering what the ethical thing to do is when you believe someone may be entering a marriage without knowing important information.

What would you do, and why?