i'm a virgin and he is not...
i’m still a virgin but my boyfriend is not. we’ve been dating for a year now and he has been extremely patient and understanding with me about this whole rj thing. he’s basically my first real serious relationship, and i’m also his first serious relationship. but before he met me, unfortunately he lost his virginity to someone else and this situation is honestly destroying me.
normally, according to my own standards, i always thought i would never date someone who wasn’t a virgin. i used to tell everyone that the best relationship dynamic is when a virgin girl dates a virgin guy. and the reason i thought that way wasn’t because of religion, i just wanted to share something that intimate with only one person for my entire life, and i expected the same from my partner too. i wanted us to be each other’s first and only. i still feel this way, and it’s ruining the way i see my relationship.
my boyfriend has only had sex once, he told me he regrets it a lot because he didn’t genuinely love the girl he did it with, and that the whole experience made him feel terrible afterwards. he said that’s the reason why he never had sex again after that. and i know that should make me feel better. there shouldn’t be that much difference between someone who had sex once and someone who’s still a virgin. but my brain just can’t accept it. and because i can’t accept it, i feel like if i have sex with him i’d be betraying my own moral values, so i told him i want to wait until marriage.
the girl he slept with was an ex he dated for a short time, and i know her personally. she’s kind of known as a very “free” person and she’s constantly jumping from relationship to relationship, and a lot of guys around here know her. my boyfriend, on the other hand, is genuinely such a good boyfriend. even if my mood drops a little bit, he immediately tries to make me feel better. he puts so much effort into our relationship, and even though we’re long distance, he always tries his best to bring us together. not even once has he made me question whether he actually loves me or not. from the very beginning he made it clear how serious he was about me, and our relationship was built on that. everyone around him knows about me, and i’m his longest relationship so far.
but i’m honestly exhausted from living with this rj thing. since the beginning of our relationship, even unintentionally, i’ve made him cry so many times and made him beg me not to leave him.
do you think i’m overreacting over something that only happened once? you can tell me if i’m exaggerating, it honestly wouldn’t upset me. maybe it would help me realize how irrational my thoughts are.
also, i live in a place where half of the people my age are still virgins. all of my friends have boyfriends who are virgins too, which makes me even more confused. it makes me feel like their relationships are somehow better or more special than mine.