u/Dangerous_Pookie2000

Made a post once before but now I'm just starting to think I really am in a narcissistic relationship situation, we got into an argument the other day that's creeping into today. (That day's argument was all over me asking to be treated better bc lately when we argue, it could be over ANYTHING and he'll automatically start on the name-calling, belittling, and sometimes even physically abusive if I do or even don't reply to him when he's pestering me after arguing. Mind you this is a hard boundary for me, something he bitches about all the time since I can't even think about stepping over his boundaries without getting threatened with abuse)

(I need to take space because I have severe PTSD from the times he's actually punched and kicked me so anytime we fight he refuses to see that I'm severely traumatized by HIM and it makes it hard to do or speak with him especially when he gets in my face when I'm unable to listen right away, I feel like I have some brain issues from past abuse. But when I explain that to him, I'm lying and if I can argue back or talk back I can't be that terrified.. make that make sense please.. )

This morning when we woke up I turned on the bedside lamp so I could get dressed and gather my purse together because I had to spill it's contents onto the floor the night prior because the day before that my fiance dumped the whole thing on the floor looking for something while we were fighting badly. (That days fight stemmed from me practically begging to be treated better but he kept saying me having an attitude and being unable to handle the abuse in the conversation was his reason for him treating me poorly and putting hands on me as if I should just be okay with that kind of mistreatment..)

He's always changing things that was said or what he's done, always says I did something first which caused him to just do what he did to me bc in that moment I deserved it. Or saying just because I gave attitude he's allowed to throw the whole relationship in the dumpster and light it on fire, I'm so tired and I think I've officially broken up with him because I can't keep going through this cycle! Like this is the 5th time! BUT SOMEHOW ITS ALWAYS MY FAULT! but what gets me is how am I the problem when he's the one who's had 1 more relationships that tanked.. and 2 he's a cheater and has been addicted to corn so yeah- I feel like anything and everything he says is projection anymore, cuz how can you blame someone for asking you to treat them better..

Please I just need some positive energy or something, maybe cat pics 😭 I'm so desperate to just end it all but I have cats who depend on me and I can't just disappear.

Unsure of Chara's limit so going to try to sum this up the best I can with as much relevant information as possible. I (25f) am engaged to my now husband (25m). He's had a past of cheating on exes and told me that point blank in the beginning of our knowing each other (originally met to be friends not partners) he's also told me he's had a past P r w n & S w e x addiction so everything was laid out to me since the beginning - important to know.

Knowing that I told him I didn't like P and he promised to stop since it hurt me & in my mind, him doing it behind my back was basically cheating as my exes used to do the same thing to me which damaged my self-worth and esteem which was explained to him and I told him just as much. Well, while we were having a bad fight over a couple of days, he started doing it and leaving it out for me to find, knowing I'd know what it was. Then, when I asked about it he lied right to my face about it. Only after a month of arguments did he finally come clean in another not-even-connected argument we were having that yes he in fact did it- left them out purposely just to 'hurt me' so if you see how he 'felt'. When by the way, he tries to have conversations and he gets a little pushback he instantly starts with the name-calling and threatening. (He's actually put his hands on me before so I believe him anytime he says anything - he doesn't believe that I am truly afraid for my life sometimes when he snaps because I try to keep 'fighting' when all I'm doing is standing up for myself)

Right now he's jobless basically homeless (not supposed to be living with me because he was kicked out for hurting me & damaging property) He was staying with me to help around the house because I work 7 days a week, 9 to 5 most days sometimes later and lately he has been helping but it feels like he's blaming everything on me and not really able to take accountability of the fact he's making and has made promises that he never follows through on or never plans to follow through on..

Then gets mad when I take over like a man is supposed to do.. He keeps saying he'll get to it or he'll do shit while I'm sleeping but it never ends up being done (I can understand on the days he's works hard and did things but theirs more lazy play video games days now) then when I ask about it 'ill get it done on my own damn time' when a good percentage of his day is either eating, pooping playing video games or laying in the tub. I can't tell if this type of treatment is abusive but that's possibly because I've only ever been with narcissistic manipulators so I'm always passive to things especially mistreatment bc I just can't mentally and emotionally hold that weight.

He keeps blaming it's all on me saying I'm asking too much when I literally feel like I'm dying a good percentage of the time, I work 7 days a week 9 to 5 and when I get home half the time he expects me to help him clean when I beg him to do it while I sleep or while I'm at work... But when I leave for work he naps then says he'll get up and clean but half the time he gets up to play video games then when I'm like 40 minutes from home then he'll start the kitchen!

I'm just so fed up.. anytime I say I'll get cameras he says he's gunna use them to show the world what I do wrong when he's told me in the beginning he had issues with exes doing that but wants to do it to me when I only wanted them for proof i wasn't crazy and that sometimes he says things or dose things he just doesn't remember... Or even I yes I SOMETIMES DONT REMEMBER but the fact that he took that and went right to I'ma post it everywhere so everybody can see how stupid you sound just tore me in half.

I already had self image issues but now I can't even look myself in the mirror and I'm not half the weight I used to be because of my hubby but when we fight he often resorts to name calling, calling me fat and the whole colorful rainbow of horrible things to never call your wife or someone you claim to love, he often resorts to threatening me especially when I put on music or something to drown out his rambles when I've told him I can't put in headphones often cuz I wear them everyday and my ears are HURTING already as is..

idk why, I have chronic sinusitis but even when not sick they HURT to all high heavens no matter what I do. He gave permission for me to post this I just hope this is the right thread to ask, is this all emotional abuse? Do I deserve to be treated this way because I have standards and ask them to at least be maintained a lil? Is asking for that much too much or am I barking up a dead tree?