Handling advice appreciated
Hello! Bare with me, I know there are so many handling questions in here, but I'm getting SAD.
For background, I have been following this yt video: https://youtu.be/4ljtIS4qCKw?si=oyKyYCIHmYJP19q3
SO we have had our girl for about a month and a half (unboxed on 4/7) didn't handle her at all, placed her in the tank and then left her alone for over a week. We were able to transition her from live to f/t and she has successfully eaten more than 3 times. I think 4? and went potty several times.
I am having a hard time with understanding body language and getting the guts to just grab her. I'm worried we might have let too much time pass and she might always fear us. Despite trying to never force our presence, we gave her over a week before we tried any type of interaction (literally just offering our cleaned hands very far away for her to get familiar with our smell) besides being in and out as briefly as possible for maintenance on her tank. She is also completely inactive during the day.
My husband and I have both been able to gently pet her but not pick her up. Tonight when we tried to handle (she was FOR THE FIRST TIME approaching the glass in a relaxed way) she was on top of the pictured columns but once we tried to pick up her body/tail she coiled herself around it so she could not be moved. In the beginning we used a silicone spatula (didn't have a cardboard power towel tube thing) she striked at first and then I pet her with it so she knew it was safe. After she was familiar with the spatula she let us use our hands. That's when we tried picking her up. Didn't work so we pet her to calm her but ultimately didn't want to push our luck and left her alone. I don't want her to think we will hurt her but I have heard/read that sometimes you just have to do it. My only concern is that with all the clutter in the tank and her positions she chooses, there is no safe way to do it. She is almost never in a ball. And yes I will admit I am a little nervous of getting bit LOL. She is ALWAYS in an S position and sometimes a heavy breather. I plan to have her forever so I certainly don't need to rush and make things worse, but I guess I am getting sad because I see people on here and other platforms that say they were able to handle with zero issues in the first week and didn't even have to give as much space or time as we have.
I'm not sure what we are doing wrong. How long should we leave her alone for now that we attempted to hold her for the first time and it failed?
Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place, I am just trying my best and feel like I'm failing.
Pics for reference!
Thank you all for your help!