How do I set boundaries with my talkative nanny? I need advice
Hi, I’m looking for advice on how to communicate something kindly and clearly to our nanny.
We have been with our nanny for about 8 months now, and she is genuinely very good with our baby. She cares about our child, seems knowledgeable about child development, keeps things tidy, and overall does a great job. I really appreciate her and don’t want to make her feel unvalued.
That said, she tends to interrupt me very frequently throughout the day. I work from home (full-time), and she often comes to tell me exactly what she washed, cleaned, and organized. Some updates are helpful, but many are things I don’t necessarily need to know in the moment.
However, the main issue is that she is very very very talkative and often tells me long personal stories, many of which are very heavy or traumatic. I feel bad because I don’t want to be insensitive, but these conversations can go on for 30+ minutes, even when I’m trying to politely interrupt and say I need to get back to work.
Another thing I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by is that every day she has several complaints about things going on in her life, such as issues with Uber, her roommates, customer service calls, etc. I’ve tried to redirect the conversation or focus on the positive, but even then, the conversation often turns back into something negative or heavy. At the end of the day, I feel emotionally drained, and because of the constant interruptions, I have to work late at night to catch up.
She also sometimes takes long calls in the guest bathroom while my baby naps, which I don’t mind in itself, but then she later tells me and my husband that she had no time to eat lunch or take a break that day. I’m not sure how to address that part either, since she does have downtime during naps.
I want to set a boundary without sounding rude, selfish, or ungrateful. I don’t want her to feel like she can never speak to me, and of course I want her to tell me anything important about my baby. But I need the workday to be much less interrupted, and I also don’t feel comfortable being the daily listener for very personal/heavy stories that don’t relate to my child’s care.
How would you recommend I phrase this? I also don’t know if I should make it a serious conversation or just bring it up casually. Has anyone dealt with something similar with a nanny? I’d really appreciate advice on how to handle it respectfully while still being direct.