I'm doubting if breaking up with my ex was a mistake
First of all, I apologize for my writing. English is not my first lenguage.
I (almost 27) met this girl (26) nearly a year ago. I fell in love with her very quickly, and then, almost a month after we got into a relationship (we were dating for two months and a half), everything just changed. She started to get angry almost for everything, and I began to wonder if I was the problem. I tried to change my attitude to avoid making her feeling bad, but all was getting worse.
For that time, we talked about a girl I dated before my ex. She got very angry and said, because I started to date her almost immediately, she felt like she was a kind of rebound. I was very confused, because I dated the other girl for like a week or two, so I was trying to explain her it wasn't that way and that I didn't want to get involved with the other girl, wich it was true.
Since then, my ex started to get really jealous. She started to see who I followed on Instagram, who I gave like to, what kind of post I saw and everything I consumed on social media. I felt like she was watching me all the time, and I tried to talk about it with her, but nothing worked. And I want to clarify, I never saw, talked to or dated anoted girl since the very moment we became bf and gf. Even when we were just dating, I didn't do any of those things.
(I know since here it's a lot of text, and I'm deeply sorry for that. But it's important because the next lines explain how all started to get violent)
We're both Colombians, and we were on a family trip with my mom and my brother to the beach in november. There all started great, we were together all the time and I was teaching her to swim. We were getting a lot of fun until one night some random gril was seeing me at the lobby, and my ex noticed it. Then I told her that girl was seeing me since the airport (we took the same plane) but I wasn't really sure about her intentions, because I thought (and still thinking) she was just seeing everyone there. My ex got really mad at me and when we got in our room she started to yelling at me, saying she couldn't trust on me telling her if someone was trying to hit on me. We talked and she promised she will trust.
The next day, we were taking breakfast with my mom and my brother. I was really happy because I love cereal, and I was watching the cereal in front of our table, because I wanted to take some more after I finished what I was already eating. Then, I saw my ex and she was seeing me in a way that just confused me, but I asked her if something was wrong and she said it was nothing.
When we finished breakfast and got in our room, she started to yelling at me again because, according to her, I was seeing the girl who was seeing me the night before (that girl wasn't even there). I started to laugh because I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. I tried to explain her it wasn't that way, but she kept yelling that I was not gonna cheat on her, because her ex did it and she already knew how that started. By that moment I was really mad, and I told her I didn't want to talk to her, so I just got into a work meeting.
A few years ago I dated a girl who was in my work team (she wasn't there when we dating), and my ex knew that. So, when I got into the meeting (it was online) Lauren (my ex, fake name) started to try to see in my screen this girl (Danielle, also fake name) I dated to. Then, whe she noticed Danielle wasn't there, started to ask for my phone, asking if I was chating with her while we were in the relationship. I didn't remember that because I'm not very good with the chat thing, so I'm not used to see who's texting me and I even miss some messages. I was really mad, and I didn't want she seeing my phone, so I said no and then all got worse. She made me get into the bathroom with the door open because, according to her, I was to delate the conversation. Then, got a little physical (she didn't hit me) triyng to take my phone. In that moment I was exhausted and I just showed her the conversation.
Turns out, Danielle texted me a months before asking me for a papre I wrote and for some job references. I didn't responded because, as I said, sometimes I even miss the messages. Anyway, Lauren got furius and broke up with me because I didn't tell her Danielle was texting me. I got very defensive and just accepted her decision. At that night, Lauren talked with me and ask me to get back together. I accepted and then everything got worse.
In december I was applying to a PhD in USA, I was very exahusted and with a lot of pressure. We got into a big fight and she instulted me. I couldn't take it because that's really serious to me, and I broke up with her. We kept talking and, eventually, we got back together. She was taking some therapy, but at the same was even more jealous. I stopped my therapy to pay hers, thinking that was going to help her with her insecurities. But, in january, she was even more jealous than before and was also more agressive with me.
The last time we saw each other I felt like she was going to hit me in the middle of a fight. She took my behavior as an excuse for hers since I was very rude with her, telling her she was inmature for giving me the silent treatment because I told her I wasn't to show her my notifications or my phone. Then, she kicked me out of my own room and, the next day, kept yelling at me and insulting me because there was a problem with the photos of my masters graduation (I chose some photos with my family, without her, because we weren't together by that time), even when I was trying to explain her I tried to get in contact with the photographer to change the photos.
She kept insulting me for almost a week through WhatsApp (we weren't living together) because of the photos and then she broke up with me because I didn't want to go to her home to see her (I didn't want to because of how she was treating me). We didn't get back together after that, but kept talking. She kept asking me if I was dating someone else, if I was texting someone else and things like that. I wasn't, so I was honest with her and told her that. Then, after a few weeks, she told me I was a bitch because I followed back a girl on Instagram, and because I gave like to a friend's photo. I ask her to leave me alone, and after that Lauren kept asking me to get back together and, when I said no, she started to insulting me again. It was like a cycle, until one night I went out with Victoria (a friend who was visiting my country, fake name) for a beer. It wasn't a date or something like that, and I want to clarify that because Lauren got really jealous. Then, we got into a fight and she blocked me. I blocked her back and, since that moment, it have been just silence.
I know it's a lot of text to get through, but I need some advice because at the final Lauren kept saying it was all my fault. That because of the girl I dated before her. Because, according to her, she was unable to trust me because of that. And well, every time I read her messages I doubt if I just overreacted, if it was really my fault. If, after all, I made a mistake by not getting back with her.