AITA for stopping helping my sister with money after i found out where it was reallly going?
My younger sister is 24, and to be honest she's had money problems her whole life.Not ceacuse she's had some kind of catastrophic run of bad luck, but because she just doesn't know how to manage her life properly.She might quit her job on a whim, take out a loan for some nonsense, then pretend everything’s fine for a couple of weeks, and then call me in the middle of the night in tears.
Over the past year and a half, I’ve given her a lot of money. Sometimes small amounts, sometimes I’d cover almost her entire rent. A couple of times I helped with her credit card, bought her medicine, because she said she had health issues and no money at all.
My mom was constantly pressuring me, too. She said it was hard for her, that she was the youngest, that without family she’d be completely lost.
Two weeks ago, my friend happened to see her in the arcade near the shopping center. At first, he couldn’t believe it, because just the day before, she had told me that she didn’t have money for rent again and the landlord was already starting to pressure her.
According to him, she had been sitting there playing the slot machines for almost an hour. He just went over to say hi and ask if everything was okay. Then her expression suddenly changed, and she told him to mind his own business. Then she told him not to tell me anything at all, because he doesn’t understand the whole situation. My friend decided to tell me anyway because he was in shock himself.
I didn’t throw a fit. I just called my sister and asked her straight out if she was gambling and if that’s where the money I constantly send her was going.
She immediately started yelling that I was crazy, that I was spying on her through my friends and trying to control her. Then she said she wasn’t 15 anymore and had the right to do whatever she wanted. But she never once gave a straight answer about the slot machines.
After that conversation, I decided I wouldn’t give her money directly anymore. At most, I can order groceries, pay for something specific, or help her find a decent job, but I’m not going to transfer money to her card anymore.
Now she’s having trouble with her rent. The landlord has already warned her that if the payment isn’t made by the end of the week, she’ll have to move out. Her mother calls me almost every day and says I’m pushing someone to the brink who’s already got enough problems.
And the worst part is that I still feel sorry for her. Because if she really gets evicted, she’ll most likely go live with her mother, and they can’t stand being together for more than two days. Plus, I realize that this is starting to look like an addiction, not just plain stupidity.
But on the other hand, I feel like a total idiot. Because while I was working my butt off and saving money to pay off my own debts, she was probably just blowing my money on slot machines and lying to my face for months.
AITA?