u/DanishDudeWasTaken

My ex (17f) of two and a half years and I (19m) split up in March. We got together when I was 16, and she was 15.

We knew we would have a 3.5-hour train between us, but regardless, we got together in October 2023. Everything was good, we were together without fights for almost a year and a half. Then broke up for the first time in April 2025, and I realised a lot of stuff went wrong. I wasn’t giving her flowers or taking her on dates, and overall, I was a shitty boyfriend, even if I was a good person to her. I had a rough childhood. My dad's an alcoholic and a drug abuser, and my mom did her best in the situation, but we kids were often neglected. My ex is the only person I’ve ever received real unconditional love from, so I fought to get her back, which I did.

We got back together again early May 2025, and saying I changed is an understatement. I didn’t miss flowers for 6 months, I got a job so I could take her out when we were together, I got her a new phone and a new laptop for her birthday, and we celebrated our two year anniversary that same month. It wasn’t just money, I always showed up emotionally and physically if she needed me.

Until November 2025 we were as close to perfect as it gets, literally. But late November, she broke up with me, saying she was too mentally drained for it to work out. Me being scared of losing her again, fought for her and settled on a break which lasted until December.

But this time it felt like she didn’t care anymore. She was doing stuff she knew I wouldn’t like week after week, and she started prioritising anything and everything over me. I didn’t know how to react, so I just shut it out. I guess I got used to being disrespected. Reflecting now, I obviously don't think it was okay to treat me like that, but at the same time, I wasn’t letting her walk away.

Eventually, she broke up again for the same reason in March. The day after the breakup, I went to her place so we could exchange our stuff. She had work, so I couldn’t get to her apartment, which led to me hanging out at her workplace, and us spending the entire day together. We talked everything over, good and bad, what we taught each other. After all, we were together during some of the most important years of our lives, and we helped each other shape the people we’ve become. We talked for 9 hours straight, then all of a sudden it was too late for me to go home, so I stayed over. I was supposed to sleep on the couch, but one thing led to another, and we had s*x. It didn’t feel like goodbye s*x to either of us, but regardless, the morning after, we went no contact till this day. She said she hadn’t loved me for a while, not because of me but because she couldn’t love anyone in that way at the time. We shook on a date in the future if she ever feels ready and we feel we’re right to try again. I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen.

Walking out her door that morning is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My final act of love was letting her walk away. I realised that I love her deeper than just us, I want her to be happy, whether I get to see it or not.

I’m still sad most days, I still miss her. But usually thinking back, I’m just appreciating what we had. It wasn’t perfect by any means. But what we experienced is a first love to be proud of. Part of me hopes she’ll come back if she heals, and another part of me hopes I move on.

That’s the short version, even if it wasn’t exactly short. Hope you’re doing amazing Bella. You always have a place in my heart.