u/Dark_habits59

I 23F got involved with a guy 24M that was engaged. He gave me his jacket at work one day because i was cold. For the next few days, I was looking for him to return it after I’ve washed it and everything. When I finally saw him again, we actually spoke for the first time. I thought he was so handsome. And I wanted to get to know him. March 6th we exchanged numbers & started talking/texting. Then one day he tells me that he was seeing someone and that she was his girlfriend and that he was trying to be a better person. He had also said that we wouldn’t have been able to be friends because he’s a very lustful person and he knows how he gets. I had apologized for flirting and for trying to pursue him. He accepted my apology. Then I had told him it probably would’ve been a good idea because I get attached easily. And you’d think we would’ve stopped talking after that, but somehow we still were.. I don’t know. We just had things in common. We made each other laugh.. we connected. On March 25 he had asked me if I wanted to get a room with him and have a drink. I did.. we had unprotected sex. As I laid there on top of him in that bed, I had opened up to him and told him that I think I’m gonna fall in love with him soon I can feel it. I never in my life drank alcohol until that night. I guess I’ve had too much and my body couldn’t handle it because I’ve gotten sick. I was sick for days. It was only some time in the first week of April that I had felt better. I haven’t spoken to him since then because it ate at me that I knew it was wrong what him & i did. But it was so passionate like I swear I’m not pretending I’m not being delusional it genuinely was passionate the way we kissed, the way we touched each other. Then on April 5, he sent me a voicemail. Saying that he was worried about me and he hasn’t heard from me in a while and he hopes that I’m OK. Four days later, he takes me to his house and we have unprotected sex again.. then the next day he tells me that his fiancé found out she went through his phone and saw the messages between us where he was getting me a Plan B. That following night he came to my house just to drop off the pill and then left so abruptly. Her whole entire family was bashing him, her brother wanted to fight him and from what he was telling me, he was saying that he felt so much pressure to marry her. And how he was lost, and he doesn’t know what to do. How it was difficult for him to choose.. I was understanding and supportive because he clearly just didn’t know what he wanted and I didn’t want to be a part of that. I was encouraging him to make it right with her because I truly did just want him to be happy. Then a few more days go by and he text me while I’m at work. He tells me that he just got married by court the other day. Honestly, my heart shattered when I read those words. I asked him how he felt about it. He said mixed emotions. Then he sends me a paragraph of him saying how he’s a piece of shit and how he’s pathetic, apologizing to me how he was sorry about how he treated me and how he was sorry that he kept going back to me, knowing that I would catch feelings for him, knowing that I would get attached to him. He said I deserved to be treated like a queen. In the beginning when he first told me about the girl, he said that he’s known enough for two years… I just found out that she’s 19 which would mean he took her virginity when she was 17 and he was 22. That’s why her family was pressuring him so hard to marry her? I am half Hispanic and I’m aware of the cultural norms than when the girl is 15. She can marry, but I come from a Hispanic father that looked down upon those norms and the men that partake in them because it is still predatory and in most countries to this day, that’s how we young girls and women are trafficked. When I found out… I was more hurt. Because what are you doing as a 20 something-year-old with a teenager!!? how did you guys even meet? He told me he met her in church, but I kind of find that hard to believe in now. I don’t know why I thought it would’ve been me anyways.. it’s time to move on isn’t it? I still think about him because it happened last week. As far as him telling me when he got married and sending me that paragraph. At least he did apologize, but it wasn’t to my face. He didn’t make amends to my face. And I made the mistake of texting him. “I can’t be angry at you. Im so in love with you & I didn’t mean to be. I forgive you”.. all I got was three dots like he was about to send a message, but he didn’t.. I don’t know why I still check my phone like I’d see a thread or that I still have his voicemails just to hear his voice 😔

Kittens!!