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A vargrut grand fleet director and a human general sat at a table with stimulants in hand. The vargrutian had a distillate of veluriax velumite and human syrups in his talons while the human had coffee. No syrup, no milk, nothing but the darkest brown possible and made sure everyone knew it. They had met up every morning for this little game they played to help wake up their minds for the countless military debates ahead.
“Ten cannonade cruisers.” He Vargrut started.
“Twenty two torpedos. Ten will be intercepted with two extra.” The human countered.
“Launch point?”
“Nearby planet. Warped in.”
“Crak.” The alien grunted taking the loss. “Ah! Anti torpedo netting.”
“Warp in past the net.”
“Warpscramblers.”
“We both know those are ineffective at small objects.”
The alien hissed and leaned back. “Loss.”
They thought for a bit on the brief exchange.
“Two carriers with ten battleships, four antifighter gunships. Full flight decks. None launched.” The human started this time.
“Unfair!” The vargrut hissed pointing his drink at the human.
“War is unfair.” The human countered smugly. “We both know that is a light expedition anyway.”
The alien’s antennae twitched in acknowledgement and he thought. “Full moon fort. Focus on anti-small ship batteries to buy time.”
“Damn. Shielding.”
“Good. Focused fire on fighters and bombers.”
“Not launched yet.”
“Focus fire on gunboats. Thin numbers.”
“Battleship bombard.”
“Deep emplacements.”
“Ah fuck. Delayed launching, high gunboat casualties.”
“Good. Three shipslicers from nearby systems.”
“Battleships intercept. Begin launching bombers and fighters from far side to protect from emplacements.”
“Interesting. Slicers employ firewing abilities and activate frontal claw.”
“Damn, three battleships cut in half, one damaged.”
“Three?”
The human grinned. “Self sacrifice. One detonates its core while being sliced.”
“Crak. Slicer lost. Other engages at range.”
“Another battleship lost, bombers use battleships as cover and engage.”
“Second slicer lost. High casualties among human bombers?”
The human nodded. “High casualties among bombers.”
“good.”
“Fighters use the distraction to close distance with moon base.”
“not good.” The alien hissed and sipped his drink thinking awhile. “Some underground fuel storage detonated creating asteroid field as obstacle.”
The human whistled. “Never thought of that. Good one! Fighters evade and use as cover though.”
“Crak. Turrets aim at asteroids to move them into fighter flight paths?”
“Also very clever. Increased casualties and slows approach.” The human tapped his chin. “Battleships risk danger close fire support. Minor casualties among fighters, but path is cleared.”
“Cold, approved.” The Director grumbled. “Fighters make it to planet, guns too weak to cause damage.”
“Focused fire on sensors and gun emplacements.”
“Blinding. Targeting issues so accuracy lowered. Distracting too.”
“Carriers move in closer. Battleships begin to clear asteroids.”
“Ah Lesut. Hidden anti-ship mines hit by clearing bombard.”
“Knew you would do that.” The human smugly admitted as he sipped his drink.
“remaining slicer takes out one more battleship due to distractions.”
“Cruisers launch anti-ship torpedos.”
“Slicer lost. Surprise though. Had two planets pool resources away from battle. Four slicers, ten hunters, forty swa-“
“Black hole.”
The alien just blinked a few times. “Black… ho- Noooooo.” He hissed and leaned back. “really?”
“Really.”
“REALLY!?”
“Yup.” The human gave a smug smile. “Really.”
The alien let out another long, deep hiss. “Whole fleet lost. Damage to moon highly likely. You face some protests but are victorious. Nearby planets are weaker and fleet is en route to reinforce nearby sectors. None attempt warp in while warp points are recalculated due to a JNARTING BLACK HOLE!”
The human laughed hard at the aliens playful anger.
“It is such a shame we will never truly face off human.” He grunted as he finished his drink.
“It is. But we both know our governments and militart are just too close. That, and our kids would wage a war on us neither would ever win. Our mates too.” He pointed out.
“True. That was a lovely wedding.” The alien shook in approval. “And adopting war orphans from both our species from battles you and me commanded? If they went into politics they would be better than us in war!”
The human grinned.
“A full toy set and-“
“Full month in Florida. Theme parks included.” The alien cut in.
“Damn. Went right for the superweapon! I’ll split that with you.” The human laughed hard as he finished his own drink.
“Says the human!” The alien countered. “And sure. Grandkids are making me proud with how they are doing in the academies.”
The human smiled and nodded. “Me too. Ready for our presentation?”
The alien just looked at the human in pure fear.
“Same.” The human groaned as they got up and started to make their way to the convention center.