About a week ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 months. I've wanted to break up for a while with her but I just didn't have the balls to do it in fear of hurting her feelings. I did care about her but I just wasn't in love.
I broke up with her about noon. That same night I ended up in bed with somebody else after going out, which I feel like I wanted. But in my mind it feels like against my moral compass, what kind of person does such a thing. I couldn't even get it up and since that day I've been overthinking and feeling incredibly stressed but I feel it started already after I broke up and not because I ended it with my ex.
Today I met the girl I met that night again and had the same problem. And i'm not really suprised as the unwell and overthinking all week, not feeling like myself and no libido is clearly impacting me. I feel like a wreck. At the same time as I have all these thoughts I feel no genuine feelings or reasons in my thought process. I keep searching for answers but find nothing and it gives me a sense of an opressed shadow or something worse. Which is a quote I have seen, that when somebody lies long enough against themself that they start to accept it. Would reading Jung at this point help in resolving any problems im experiencing or is it just unwise as my mental state is kind of unstable?
In my 28 years of life I never felt so confused and unwell. I'm not looking for pity but at the same time, this feels like a cry for help as I'm looking for a little guidance as I feel like the biggest loser, sitting in a bus at 0100 as I go home in a shamefull display of incompetence.