u/DataAffectionate4467

How do you cope with the thought of having this illness forever? It's really on my mind right now because I've been dealing with anxiety since this morning. Sometimes I just don't feel strong enough for this illness. My dad tells me that I'm the strongest person he knows. But yeah... it's still a lot of pain and sadness. It has definitely gotten a lot easier compared to the first few years. And in a way, my first psychiatrist was right: 'you learn how to manage it.' But man, living with this illness is a massive battle.

I’m just so tired. I am so exhausted. I’ve had this illness for 9 years now and, unfortunately, I’m still stuck in my delusions. I feel completely in danger whenever I leave the apartment. I feel like I'm on the run whenever I go anywhere. Friends only visit me very rarely now, every few months. Living with my parents is okay . They are as considerate and give me as much love as they possibly can. But still, it’s not always easy living with your parents as a 30 year old. I’m in therapy and I’ve been taking my medication since day one. I just wanted this terrible world to stop. But I’m still stuck in it. Even though there's less panic now, it still doesn't make it any easier. The years are just passing me by. I play video games, look at my phone, and yeah, that’s about it. I used to read the newspaper, but I’ve lost interest in that too. My friends are getting married, going on vacation, partying, having partners, earning money, living on their own. And like an idiot, I’m still crying over my ex. Maybe partly because she represents a doorway to my old life. I’m just so tired of this illness and this situation. I just don't know what to do anymore