r/schizoaffective

45 days without weed which is also an accomplishment for me. I get bored sometimes and get cravings for both still, but overall I'm proud of myself for sticking to it. Anybody else making the commitment to get sober? If so, what keeps you going? If not, is there something holding you back or is it just not a desire?

Hi, so I have delusional thinking and psychosis related to topic involving the federal government (specifically the FBI & CIA) harassing me despite their being very little if not no evidence that this is happening. It has cost me multiple jobs, I’m homeless now and essentially destroyed my life. I can’t get anything done without thinking that they’re surveillance me, mocking me, and negating any effort I put into anything.

Yesterday, I went to a park to watch fire works from a distance. About 2 minutes after I got there, an acquaintance that I knew like 6 years ago showed up, and we recognized each other and briefly caught up. When he asked how I’d been, I explained that things were pretty bad because I have Schizoaffective disorder and can’t seem to manage it.

He then tells me that he’s been working with the federal government in covert international operations, and repeatedly hints at recruiting me for something. When I asked him what the government wanted me for/to do, but he refused to give a direct answer.

And I spent the rest of the night convinced that he was sincere and that I wasn’t psychotic after all while wearing a bulletproof vest and taping aluminum foil to the inside of my hat. It took multiple attempts by others to get me to understand that that guy was probably messing with me.

Is this something that people do to people who are psychotic? And if so, why? How do y’all manage this? And also what the hell?! I’ve been nothing but desperately friendly to this guy, and I like, honestly, I’d prefer if he had just beat me up or something because what he did to my brain will probably take months to repair.

I feel like an idiot who literally can never be a functional person ever again.

Hey everyone. So I switched psychiatrists recently bc my old one was not giving me the time I wanted anymore, cutting appts short and not filling out forms I needed her to.

However, my new psychiatrist terrifies me. He wants to take me off of half of my meds, change my diagnosis, tells me that my overheating side effect can’t be said to exist unless I run on a treadmill and then check my body temp (even though after every activity I have to sit in front of a fan with ice packs to cool down), and he says that if I ever don’t take the meds he wants me to take or not take, he reserves the right to discharge me at any time.

He also said that someone of my age should be “working or pursuing higher education”…I’m 45 and not only do I currently feel too disabled to (I’m on disability), but those are not my goals anymore at my age. I’ve adapted to my life as it is and I am fairly content. Honestly, my biggest accomplishment would just be to be able to brush my teeth every night bc right now it’s kind of spotty.

Furthermore, the new doc said I shouldn’t be using Zyprexa anymore because it is “not a good drug.” Okay but I’ve been taking it for 8 years and I can’t sleep without it. I’ve tried everything to sleep but only Zyprexa allows me to sleep. He says I need to do a “Sleep Study” bc antipsychotics shouldn’t be used for sleep. But I have a psychotic illness too so what’s the big deal? I am only taking the lowest freaking dose…2.5 mg!

Do you think my old psychiatrist might be willing to take me back, even if I wrote her a goodbye letter with the reasons I was leaving her? I feel so embarrassed and feel like I let a good thing go. I had just started Caplyta and had enormous energy and the old doc was just not “keeping up” with things, or so it seemed at the time.

Ugh I hate this.

feel apathetic to everything. has anything helped you want to be social again? feel interest in hobbies, or want to listen to music? i’m scared to live the rest of my life like this, i don’t think i can do it

I'm wondering if anyone else with schizoaffective disorder has experienced something similar.

Have you ever had voices that claimed to be the government or part of the government, or sounded exactly like people you know? Mine often respond to my inner thoughts as if they're having a conversation with me, and sometimes they tell me they're coming to get me or that they're trying to torture me psychologically.

I'm not looking for anyone to confirm whether these claims are true. I'm trying to understand whether other people with schizoaffective disorder have experienced voices like this and what has helped them. Did medication, therapy, or anything else make these experiences less intense?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through something similar. Please be kind. This has been incredibly distressing.

How do you cope with the thought of having this illness forever? It's really on my mind right now because I've been dealing with anxiety since this morning. Sometimes I just don't feel strong enough for this illness. My dad tells me that I'm the strongest person he knows. But yeah... it's still a lot of pain and sadness. It has definitely gotten a lot easier compared to the first few years. And in a way, my first psychiatrist was right: 'you learn how to manage it.' But man, living with this illness is a massive battle.