u/Delicious-Bar-6788

Hey! I've gained quite a bit of weight over the past couple of years, due to medication and overeating. I want to be at a healthy weight (I'm about 100 pounds overweight) but I have struggled in the past with severe restrictive eating and over-exercising, I believe due to my ocd for the most part. I want to incorporate more exercise and healthy diet in my life, but I don't quite know where to start. I want to see a dietitian/nutritionist to cover the healthy eating part, but I don't know where to start with exercise.

I struggle with motivation and starting/sticking to a routine. I also have exercise induced asthma that can trigger anxiety/panic attacks. I know exercise isn't a hopeless cause for me, even if it means I can't do marathon runs or anything like that. I want to focus on low impact exercise that helps me get to a healthier weight. I have to take care not to let exercise become a compulsion for me.

I was thinking strength-building exercises, walking, and yoga? I don't quite know how to turn that into a sustainable plan though. Any advice?

Hello, does anyone else feel kinda grateful that this movie exists? It is very triggering for me to watch it, but it is easy to explain to people how I feel when I feel like there are people watching me and commenting on what I'm doing and that I have no privacy. It's easy to say "like the Truman Show" and I feel like it's easy to understand what I'm going through. Again, I can't watch the movie even though I like Jim Carrey's acting, because it makes me feel like my delusional thoughts are justified. I just wonder if it would be more difficult for other people to understand if there wasn't a whole movie about "what if this type of delusion was actually real". I don't know if that's how the original creators of the movie thought of it, but that's what I think of.

What do other people think?

I saw a post on Tumblr a while back about Panda being the most likely out of the three brothers to use AI, and I agreed. I thought it would probably be because he wanted to bring Miki-chan "to life" and it would probably result in the AI trying to destroy the bears or something XD I'm not an advocate for AI or anything, I have strong environmental concerns against it, but I feel like We Bare Bears is the type of show that would explore something like people having romantic relationships with AI characters.

I don't know if it's the meds or just how my brain is. I've felt this way for a long time, even before meds I think. Not that I would know because I don't remember anything! I can't remember anything before two weeks, I'm lucky I am in the habit of daily journaling because otherwise I would have no memories. I barely remember anything from my childhood or when I was a teenager, no teachers, barely a small handful of people I was friends with, nothing about the classes I took. It is all just blank. I've been struggling with psychosis since I was 13/14, and high anxiety all throughout my life.

But I just feel stupid. It takes me so long to process things. I try to exercise my brain by doing puzzles and sudoku and crosswords and by reading, but my baseline is just slow. Even my movements feel slow. It is hard for me to run and jump and be active. All I want to do is sit or lay down. I don't know how I'm going to get an entry job when I'm like this. I think I'm smart, I can communicate pretty well, but I also think I'm stupid. I can't think how other people think. It's making me feel so depressed. I just don't feel like I can adapt to the world and it feels like I have no place here. I'm not suicidal or anything, all these feelings are just triggering depression. And now I'm getting these horrible ideas in my head that my friends are talking bad about me behind my back, which they have never done in the past. I feel like they're telling everyone they know who I haven't met about how stupid and boring I am. I feel like I'm never fun to be around.

It just sucks. I'm still taking all my meds. I'm getting enough sleep. I feel like I'm doing everything right so why do I still feel this way like 80% of the time? Also I see my therapist next week so I'm definitely going to talk to them about this.

I have never had a job before, I've applied to many places but haven't gotten to the interview stage. But I'm applying again now that I am into summer and I don't have any in-person classes for fall semester.

I have functional limitations regarding multi-tasking and I am sensitive to stress. I get overwhelmed by many tasks and when I get overwhelmed, I need some space to calm myself down and sometimes need to take an emergency dose of my medication to keep myself from being too symptomatic. I don't have any official documentation that I am disabled by my condition. I only have the diagnosis in my medical history, not any notice that I am disabled by it.

Anyway, does anyone have experience with disclosure? I don't know if I can work at my best level without some accommodations. Do I need a letter from my therapist to get accommodations at work? I don't plan on disclosing to coworkers, but it might be important to tell my employer. How detailed should I get-- should I tell them my specific diagnosis or just that I have a psychiatric disability? I'm worried if I don't disclose that I will get fired for poor performance if I have to work without accommodations.

Just wanted to share my positive feelings about r/schizoaffective and r/schizophrenia. It is so hard to find a community online of us, and especially hard to find community in person (at least where I live). There are times I wish schizo-spectrum disorders were more well known, and I mean truly well understood, not just used for Internet memes.

I look at other forms of neurodivergence like autism and adhd, and while the social understanding of those disorders aren't perfect, at least there is an increased awareness of the difficulties of those disorders and how to accommodate for them. Many people don't even know that "neurodivergent" includes more than those two, it includes bipolar, schizophrenia, ocd, intellectual disability, and more. When I look for support in other places, it can feel so hostile and like people are intentionally misunderstanding symptoms that aren't "trendy" or "quirky personality traits". (But maybe that's just my social anxiety and mistrust rearing its head).

I really appreciate these two subreddits, for feeling so open and friendly to so many of us. I have come to these communities when I have been scared, alone, depressed, when I have my bad times and my good times, and I have never felt turned away. That's a hard feeling to come by sometimes when you struggle with a schizophrenic disorder. I just want to thank the mods and the communities for being this way. Life isn't perfect right now, it's quite a bit better than it has been these past few months, but I'm just filled with a lot of gratitude.

It has been really difficult for me to take meds. I need to refill two of them, and every time I put a pill in my mouth I feel like it's poisoning me. I take a med and I think "this is going to kill me" and it scares me bad enough that I want to throw it up. I'm not entirely convinced I 100% need them and they all feel like placebo. I can't tell if they work or not. I feel like I used to be able to tell, but now I can't.

I can't tell anyone in my life about it. I feel like they're going to punish me if I tell them I haven't been taking my meds. My therapist, psychiatrist, family, and friends don't know. I feel like there's this wall now that makes it impossible to tell them.

I don't know what feels normal and what doesn't. Something feels absurdly evil inside of me, like some black sticky goo that's infecting me. It feels like something satan has put in me. I just want to stop feeling this way but I'm so scared of taking meds. I feel like the meds will kill me if I take them, like I'm poisoning myself. And it won't stop the feeling of evil in me. I feel so out of sorts. And everyone's lying to me, always trying to rile me up and make me feel angry. I see it on the Internet and in real life. I don't think my friends are really my friends. I feel like if I talk to anyone about this, then someone or something will come kill me. Even typing this and posting it makes me feel really scared.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I have schizoaffective or if I'm just filled with this evil satanic presence that's ruining my life. I can't read or write or draw. I just watch YouTube videos all day. I see my therapist next week, and I will try to work up the courage to tell her how I've been doing. Maybe I'll use this post as a template to tell her.