I'm 27M, never dated anyone ever.. by choice.. (actually no, I just don't know how dating works yet.. lol!)
I'm not sure how to discern if I'm in the right "season" to look for a wife, but I’ve made a checklist for myself: Mindset, Heartset, Toolset, and Skillset.
- Mindset: My mind, personality, goals, and temperament must be spirit-led.
- Heartset: My purpose for having a wife. What am I looking for? What does God say?
- Toolset: The material things needed to build a family, like money and tangible assets.
- Skillset: The practical skills needed to raise a family, like cooking, laundry, and investing.
I have a high standard for myself when it comes to commitment. If I'm not ready for marriage, I'm not ready for dating. (Bars! I know!)
I've been building myself for these past months now. (Still not satisfied with my current progress, grrrr! I'm super slow! raawr!!).
Why am I writing this? Well, a lot of my friends are getting married and having cute kids, and I'm starting to get jelly! (Jelly means jealous—don't judge me! Lol!).
I feel like I'm missing out!
One of my friends (let's call him Mike) asked me: "Why are you not married yet?" I was like, "M-me? Married? I'm not ready for that. What if I ruin it?"
Mike looked into my eyes and patted me on the shoulder and said these words that have been stuck in my mind on repeat. "Having a wife is fun. She'll be your best friend and enemy at the same time." (ooooh!!! I received a rhema from that statement.)
I think what he meant to say is: "No marriage is perfect. Marriage is a journey between two imperfect people, it will be tough, but it will be worth it! It's a partnership growth, not a one man show."
Maybe I was overthinking things. Maybe what I was chasing wasn't "readiness," but an unrealistic fantasy of what an ideal married life should look like. (Mind you, I'm ready financially and mentally, but physically? Let’s just say I’m still a work in progress... I'm a bit rounder than I'd like to be! lol! I was too paranoid for perfection first.)
That being said, I don't know where to start. Should I try online dating? (Use the mouse to find a spouse.. lol!), should I try talking to someone? How do I even know if they are the right one?
Honestly, I still have a lot to learn. I can't do this by myself. I need God to intervene and do something.