r/ChristianDating

My BF and I (in our late 20s) have been dating for a little over a year. We met at church originally and were friends for a year before we started dating. In the dating process, I've come to realize that he gets stressed about things easily and is not great at managing his time. When he doesn't manage his time well, he'll get super down and depressed. For instance, he'll promise to come visit me after work but then fall asleep or something and not be able to come. Then he'll get really sad because he wasn't able to see me. In these moods, he'll often turn to me for support, and I can't help but think, 'Why do I have to support him when he caused the situation.' This happens about 1-3 times a month. Recently, he had to move and didn't do any packing. He has to vacate his place next week and he still hasn't packed at all because he'll get stressed and procrastinate. I've been helping him move things back and forth but he'll vent to me about it when we hang out and it's affecting everything else in our relationship.

I love him a lot but he's starting to talk about marriage and I'm scared that these are bad indications of things to come. Growing up, I saw my mom have to be the caretaker of everything and I don't want to be stuck in that situation. I know I'm not perfect either and I can be harsh to him when he gets like that and not communicate kindly. I'm hoping for a way we can talk about things because right now, it's hard for me to trust him. Thanks for your advice.

This may be asked a lot so apologies for the redundancy if that’s the case!

I (27F) live in a smalllll town with the nearest “city” being 1.5 hours away. I’d really love to find a godly man with a kind, fun personality and strong, disciplined character. There are literally no Christian men like this in my town or pretty much anywhere near me. I’ve tried online dating but it’s so hard to find anything serious. I’m all for putting myself out there in social situations, but there are no said situations in my community.

I can’t move right now for various reasons, and my single friends and I are getting discouraged about the lack of opportunities to meet good guys.

A man with a strong Christian faith is an absolute must for me, so it would be difficult to find one randomly out in the wild, so to speak lol. I love being active but I don’t know of any local Christian singles pickleball or hiking clubs, for example. I just really am at a loss for where to put my energy.

Do you all have ideas for good places to visit, conferences to travel to, creative ways to meet good men??

Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could get some feedback or maybe encouragement regarding waiting till marriage. I’m currently 21 and I am finding it extremely hard to wait. Not just on a hormonal level, but also on a societal pressure level. I feel like men who wait until marriage aren’t respected. I’m not saying this to boast or brag, but I am a fit and relatively handsome man and receive attention from woman, and I wonder if my sacrifice will be appreciated by my future spouse. Even with secular woman who are into me, they seem to completely lose attraction immediately when I mention I’m celibate and waiting till marriage.

A part that also bothers me is the lack of people who actually are/have been saving themselves for marriage. Not in a “holier than thou” way, but just in a way of I would be put at ease of my insecurity if me and my partner went into a marriage baggage free in that element of life.

I’m gonna be one hundred percent honest, I don’t put virginity on a pedestal with a future partner, and it’s not a definite dealbreaker, but it does suck knowing that most likely my wife hasn’t saved herself for marriage. Obviously a repentant heart is a great thing, but it genuinely bums me out.

I feel like sometimes I’m wasting my youth, and people seem to not understand nor respect me waiting. People assume I’m intimate with many people but once they learn I’m not, I can see the respect from them disappear.

I feel like even if you’re a guy who is celibate by choice, people don’t respect it. And people especially don’t like it if you want someone who has also been celibate.

Of course I’m doing this for God first and foremost. But sometimes I wonder if what I am doing is even gonna be appreciated/reciprocated, or if my standards aren’t even realistic. I feel like to be a “cool guy” to the world they want you to sleep around, and when you say you aren’t, they’re weirded out by it.

I’m just feeling a bit bummed overall. I wonder if my waiting will even be appreciated.

Hi! Usually I’m in the crushes Reddit but I’m a Christian 22 female and hoping to find my future husband, tho I tend to find myself attracted guys who are quiet or shy at first, it’s also how I am. I’m afraid doing any action may set the stage as being the masculine energy and then he’ll never initiate, so I’m not sure how shy/quiet guys would like me to approach them.

Give me advice Christian shy/quiet guys

I’m 25 and a single dad, and lately I’ve been wondering how much that affects my chances of finding a serious Christian relationship.

I became a father young, and it changed my life completely. My daughter is the biggest blessing in my life, but becoming a parent early also forced me to grow up fast. While a lot of people my age were partying and figuring life out, I was learning responsibility, stability, sacrifice, and what it means to put someone else before yourself.

I work full time, I’m focused on building a future for myself and my daughter, and I’ve been trying to get closer to God and become a better man overall. I’m not into hookups or casual dating anymore. I genuinely want a Christ-centered relationship that could eventually lead to marriage and a family.

The thing I struggle with is feeling like Christian women my age automatically see “single dad” and lose interest before even getting to know me. I understand it’s a lot more complicated than dating someone with no kids, and I don’t blame anyone for having preferences. But sometimes it makes me feel like I missed out on the chance to have a normal dating life or future marriage.

At the same time, I know becoming a father made me more mature, grounded, disciplined, and serious about life than I was before.

So I’m honestly curious:

1. Would you seriously consider dating a single dad at 25?
2. What would make you open to it or hesitant?
3. Is it usually a dealbreaker, or does it depend on the man, his character, faith, and how he handles his responsibilities?

Just looking for honest opinions from other Christians.

Hello! I’m new to this subreddit, and after reading through some posts and replies, I got curious, have any of you actually found meaningful relationships through this community?

I’m hoping to meet like-minded Christian people and put myself out there more, so I’d genuinely love to hear people’s experiences, whether positive or negative. Have any friendships, relationships, or even marriages come from this subreddit?

Just curious to hear everyone’s thoughts and experiences.

Gentlemen, please use discernment while dating, especially online. Not every woman who says she’s Christian is actually serious about her walk with God. Some know the right words, verses, and church language, but their actions eventually reveal their real intentions.

One thing I’ve learned: when a woman disregards your time, your peace, or your independence, she will often insist it’s not a big deal or claim you’re overreacting if it bothers you. If you tolerate that early on and give up your control just to avoid conflict, those double standards will only grow.

The Bible says, “Above all else, guard your heart” (Proverbs 4:23). A counterfeit woman will slowly pull you toward compromise, confusion, and distraction from God instead of walking alongside you closer to Him.

Pay attention to temperance, humility, and whether she respects you and your decisions.

A godly woman isn’t perfect, but she should genuinely be pursuing Christ, not just using Christianity to get a man who will provide and cater to them.

I've been talking with this guy for a bit now and we've gone on one date so far and have planned for another this week.

Chemistry is very good, we get along well, we talk and joke with each other easily, we're both attracted to each other, we both take our faith very seriously, and it's a little awkward at times but it's endearing, and I can honestly see this going well in the future. I haven't felt this good about someone in a very long time.

But we both have zero relationship experience. We've both dated people but neither of us has had a serious, official relationship before. We're both going into this blind.

Like the title says, what should I expect if things do go well between us and he asks me to be his girlfriend? What important info should I learn about him before things get to that point?

Ladies, please use discernment while dating, especially online. Not every man who says he’s Christian is actually serious about his walk with God. Some know the right words, verses, and church language, but their actions eventually reveal their real intentions.

One thing I’ve learned: most men don’t “joke” about crossing boundaries unless they’re testing to see how you’ll respond. If you agreed, chances are it wouldn’t be a joke anymore.

The Bible says, “Above all else, guard your heart” (Proverbs 4:23). A counterfeit man will slowly pull you toward compromise, confusion, and distraction from God instead of leading you closer to Him.

Pay attention to consistency, self-control, and whether he respects your boundaries without trying to push them.

A godly man isn’t perfect, but he should genuinely be pursuing Christ, not just using Christianity to pursue women.

Hello all,

So I’ve been talking to a girl I met on Hinge about a month ago. I’m 39 and she is 35. We are both Christian and pretty conservative.

We’ve had two great daytime dates so far. First was a coffee shop where we talked for about an hour and half. She’s into gardening and the arts so second date I made reservations at a local plant conservatory and art museum where we had lunch.

Third date is tomorrow and we’re doing dinner/drinks. I gave her the option to pick her up or meet at restaurant and she chose for me to pick her up.

I’ve seen other Reddit posts on this subject so sorry for the repetition but wondering if getting her a small bouquet of flowers is appropriate or perhaps a little too soon/coming on strong? We have not kissed yet but that doesn’t bother me.

I like her and don’t want to screw things up. I figured since I’m picking her up it’s a little easier for her to put inside before we head to dinner.

But let me know your thoughts!

Cheers

Pretty much what the title says. I just... don't know what to do anymore - The Catholics don't want me, The Orthodox don't want me, the Protestants, gosh, well... there are just so many!

Someone tell me what to do. I'm more on the "Charismatic non-denominational prayerful discerning spiritual gifts" side of things? Was raised in the Catholic and Orthodox Churches, though, so that's why I still search for a spouse within those groups, but yeah, like I said - they don't want me!

I'm looking for advice. I know I have things I can work on, as does everyone. I could be slimmer. I could have a better job. I could have a nicer smile. I could wear better clothes. All of these are things I'm working on, but they're all also fairly superficial. I made a post recently asking what was wrong with me, which I have since deleted, and on that post, I got a great deal of encouragement, which I appreciated. Lately, however, I have come to the conclusion that my problems must run deeper than the superficial. The one thing I cannot change is my personality. I have recently reached out on a couple of intros, and have frankly had my self-esteem pretty thoroughly shattered.

I fully understand that nobody I try to talk to owes me a conversation, but there is something more personal, and more painful, about having my attempt to reach out actually get *downvoted,* as though I am so far beneath these women that even saying hello personally offended them. I would much rather just be ignored. Should I just throw in the towel? Attempting to date has done nothing but reinforce all of my worst thoughts about myself.

I know that my sense of worth ultimately needs to come from God. My sense of purpose can only be found in doing His will. That said, I cannot help but feel the pain of being so completely unwanted. It is hard to keep trying when, on the few occasions where I have formed a connection with somebody, God has seen fit to end the relationship very quickly. I always pray that God's will would be done before starting any venture. It seems to me that His will is for me to be single.

I either need to grow in my relationship with God before He will bless me with a relationship, or I need to face the possibility that I am simply not meant to find someone. I am not sure which is the case.

I’m 25 turning 26 soon 5-8 strong but not defined glasses some people say I used to look like lip from shameless.
I work in maintenance at a school
I like hiking, exploring communities, walking, gaming, chocolate milk, and witnessing.
I personally had a really difficult relationship with my family growing up I made a lot of poor decisions and am so grateful for how god has shaped me through the fires of affliction to be the man I am today. My testimony is long and I find pleasure in sharing it with someone receptive and accepting. But long story short god delivered me from many things and answered my prays and he will for you.
Looking for someone around 22- 32 but don’t be afraid to message me if that’s not you.
Looking for a personal connection with someone that leads to friendship or potentially partnership. If long distance let’s work towards find a way to meet up I’m much better in person. Im more of a take you out and get to know you kind of guy and find this online stuff difficult. If you want photos hit me up. God bless you and thanks for reading.
I go to a non denominational gospel teaching church.

Seeking Christian men’s advice

TLDR; gf (30) now wants to wait untill marriage before having sex with me (27) again

I’ve been with my girlfriend for around 6 months. She has 2 kids and is going through a divorce after years of cheating and abuse from her ex husband. I also came out of a relationship where I got cheated on.

We both started talking and became really close and things turned sexual pretty quickly (exchanges of nudes, sexting etc…). After a while she was weary on sexual interactions because of her faith, and I would feel like she wasn’t attracted to me and she did say she doesn’t want to have sex before marriage. When I visited her a few months ago we had sex pretty much every day and were affectionate.

After I came home, she said she doesn’t want any sexual stuff anymore until marriage because she wants to get closer to God, stop getting too attached while things are uncertain, and do things properly in the eyes of god. Marriage isn’t exactly around the corner either because there’s immigration/visa issues and she’s still in an active divorce, so realistically we’re probably talking a couple years before marriage is a thing.

I respect that it’s her choice and it’s a boundary she wants to set and I’m not trying to pressure her to change her mind. But if I’m being honest I am struggling with it

Physical intimacy matters a lot to me in a relationship. Not just sex, but feeling wanted, closeness, desired, affection, chemistry, sexual chemistry, flirting, all of that. Since she brought this up I’ve honestly just felt confused, unwanted at times, and like I’m distancing myself a bit because I’m trying not to even go there mentally. She mentions that we can be intimate without sex by hugging and flirting but I will have to fight my own arousal and prevent escalation; she’s suggested when this happens we just pray and turn to our bibles

What’s made it harder is there’s been mixed signals. Since saying no sex until marriage we’ve still had phone sex a few times and sexual conversations. I have instigated most and she has instigated too, she mentioned the reason was that it was hard to turn me down but now she’s firm again that everything sexual is off the table.

She wants me to come visit for a month and I genuinely want to see her, but I’m struggling to be realistic with myself about how that works. Spending a month together kissing, cuddling, sleeping next to each other etc while trying to ignore sexual urges feels hard, and I worry I’ll just end up frustrated or resentful.

Another thing I’ve started to struggle with is now comparisson. She has told me stories about the first person she lost her virginity too and would see him throughout high school, and stories about her ex (who’s she been with for 11 years after the first guy) and despite all the horrible stuff he did (cheating, abuse, porn addiction etc), they still would have sex all the time, so in my head I sometimes end up wondering if something’s wrong with me, or if it’s not good for her, if she’s even sexually attracted to me or if I’m just lacking something. She caught him cheating so much she ended up opening her marriage as she felt trapped and didn’t want to abandon her daughter, she said that she knew this was wrong. In this time she slept with 3 different people, 2 of them were one time and the last 1 she seen on 2 occasions while in her marriage. I know that’s probably not healthy thinking but it’s where my head goes to as I just question why with me only and no one else. I have brought up previous partners too (7 people) but that’s only because she’s asked about them, and I never go into details out of respect.

I’m not trying to make this about “I can’t get sex so I’m leaving”, I’m genuinely trying to work out if this is something I should grow through as a Christian man, or if it’s a sign we’re just not aligned or compatible anymore in what we want from a relationship. I do see sex as one of the cores of the relationship, it doesn’t have to be all the time but it’s what makes me feel wanted, reassured, and desired. She has been celibate since her divorce started 2 years ago and she makes the claim that she’s not that person anymore, but when we first started speaking it was sexual and we have had sex

Would appreciate honest advice, especially from Christian men who’ve been through something similar.

Hi all, I wanted to seek advice on a certain statement I made with a girl I had gone out with.

We had initially met at a Christian speed dating event and hit it off. We both thankfully felt the same about our initial conversation and wanted to go out for real this time. Having said that, were were both busy the upcoming weeks and would not be able to go out again until about 3 weeks after we initially met.

Fast forward to going out, entire conversation went well and I felt pretty good about everything. I am the type that wants to pray over very important things to me before making spur of the moment decisions. I do also like to loop in close friends and my mom (no siblings or a father in my life).

This is where I need advice. I want to know if what I said after this date is valid. I told her:

"I really enjoyed going out with you. I wanted to be wise and discern where to go from here so I wanted to pray about this. Why dont we reconnect by latest mid-next week?"

I'm looking to grow and better understand. I definitely did not intend to soft reject or string her along.

We ended up going out once more and mutually came to the conclusion it would be best to remain friends.

However, I'd love input from everyone if what I said, or if its a situational thing where it depends on the person when interpreting what I said.

It seems Catholics get a bad rep on this subreddit. How come?

My girlfriend (20F) and I (22M) have been dating for a few months now and we have been running into some difficulties per se In our relationship.

For some background, She is the pastor’s daughter at a southern Baptist church in Maine. They moved here from North Carolina to start a church in a small town. Her mother seems to make all the rules in the house regarding what they can and can’t do. He dad doesn’t care but always says, “it’s your mom’s rule”. Just to list off some rules.
•we can’t ride alone in a vehicle together
•we can’t be alone in a room together
•no touching at all
•she goes through her phone
•if she forgets to put gas in the car one day, she has to fill everyone’s car for the whole week
•she doesn’t believe in hospitals, therapy, or vaccines
•if you have an issue, bottle it down and do not talk to anyone about it. It’s yours to figure out on your own.

Some aren’t bad but like some are just controlling and, she doesn’t fully agree with them but if she speaks out, her mom yells at her and will tell her it must not be in her heart to obey her.
Well I attend a Calvary Chapel church. We met through some family friends who talked about us and we decided to get to know each other. We both really like each other and we do plan to get married down the road but the marriage conversations started to show some differences in our faith lives.

She told me that her dad has a long list of requirements that I have to meet before I can marry her. One being how much I give in the church offering. They believe that you have to give 10% or greater of your weekly income every Sunday. I believe that you should give with your heart (which is typically more than 10% honestly but sometimes it can be less depending on what you have on you.) that became an issue because her dad is saying that he will call my pastor and ask him how much I donate to the church on a weekly basis. It’s not an issue because of how much I do give, it’s an issue because that makes it feel forced and honestly it’s between me and God, not me and him.

The next thing is church membership. I grew up Southern Baptist so I am familiar with it but I strongly disagree with it. It is not biblical and it adds a level of classism to the church that does not belong. I do understand that not all churches treat it that way but this is what she said to me, “when we see that someone is not a member, we know that they are not here for the real thing. They are just here for the ride.” And that offended me. I did let her know that and she apologized but she said that’s just how they see it and that I should become a member.

Next, the question of what church we will attend came up. She plays piano at her church and her dad is the pastor. She has no intention to ever leave her church but I think my church has better teaching styles and values. This ones hasn’t been a huge issue but it can become one in the future.

Next, I’m going to a wedding this week so I asked her if she wanted to go. She said she needed to ask her parents if we can ride together or if we can ride separately. They said no either way. We can’t ride together and it’s too far to go separate. (About 1 hour away) I didn’t understand why but I didn’t argue.

Next, we actually got permission to ride together alone one time for about 10 mins down the road. (Her parents followed us to every place) well she decided to ask again after about a week and a half and they blew up on her saying she should know better than to ask so soon and they she should not expect it to happen again.

Finally the hat… I wear hats to church all the time and nobody bats an eye. Well this past Sunday, I wore a hat at her church and her mom texted her about 5 times during the service telling me to take it off now. Let me just say, there was about 4 other people wearing at hat, men and women. The first time, I said no but after the 5th I just put it on the ground. During the night service I kept it in the whole time and I didn’t fold. If she wants to control my entire relationship that is one thing considering it’s with her daughter but when you single me out and try and control me then I draw the line. I told her I would gladly talk to her about it but she didn’t wanna hear it.

I need some advice, what do I do?? We both really like eachother but it’s getting harder and harder everyday