r/ChristianDating

Does anybody else feel like it’s almost difficult to do both things?

Since my divorce, I have worked so hard to chase Jesus to be his bride to devote my life to him. I have studied deep meditation. I have studied his word. I have studied many books in theology and in supportive Christianity. I have devoted life to prayer to conversation and the following his word and being obedient, I want to prepare myself to be a proper Christian man in a marriage. I’m often overwhelmed by trying to find a wife while chasing Jesus

I know some people are gonna say that maybe that’s God sign that I should remain single but I truly don’t feel like God wants me to remain single. It even says in the word for truly, it is not good for men to be alone that’s why he created Eve for us and I know that that’s returning the sexual immorality, but I no longer struggle with loss or sexual immorality stuff as I did when I was younger I want a companion I want somebody to pray with. I want somebody to pray over. I want somebody to cook for I want somebody to wash dishes for I want somebody to discuss my feelings and to listen to their feelings, and to really be there to support them in their good days and their bad days to not have them be a crotch or for me to be a crutch for us to be an inner lot Christian support system for one another they always pushed each other closer to the Lord.

In some ways, I know this is how the Lord doesn’t want me to be single because I think I need that person who loves Jesus more than they will ever love me so that they help push me towards him harder and I want to be there for someone else too.

This is not a post stating how hard it is to be single or that I’m looking for somebody. It’s a discussion based on the struggle of dating while also trying to fill the heaviness that is a disciple of the Lord and I don’t want to date to date, I want to date with the intention of marriage. Someone who can fulfill everything that a proverbs 31 woman would fulfill just as I would want to fulfill everything the Bible says I should do as a husband I want to exhibit the fruits of the spirit and have the overflow of my heart pour out so lovingly that my wife is overwhelmed by love loved is everything and I want to share that I want to love on somebody.

But again, I reiterate that it is difficult to find that person plus find them close and have them fulfill the word. No one’s perfect, but I feel like I put so much pressure on myself to be obedient to the word I want somebody who is doing just the same.

Is it just me or does everyone struggle do women struggle with trying to find somebody talking to someone doing all that and then feeling like it’s all overwhelming?

Hi. I picked a random girl from a tango chat group and texted her, and told her to go to an concert. I am not really interested on the girl at first appearance. But we have some interest in common and I know very few people as I am not from the city. I was straight, and told her that if she is interested we can go and have a drink before the event. She said she is in, and she bought the ticket first. Then I bought it myself next to her.

Now she is ghosting me, after I tried to brak the ice hours on Monday with "How's it going?" and on Wednesday with my straight proposal to the café location. Yesterday another girl I mentioned about the event texted me that was interested in the concert, but I told her I am already going with someone else. This other girl has a similar behaviour that she replies every few days. I am a bit angry now, because I wanted to go to that concert yes, but not alone, as I told her. If she changed her mind that is fine, but she does not disclose it, and I do not know if she is just lazy to reply or she does not want to go.

What would you do? Go alone and ignore her, try to cancel it now, try to change the seat number now and invite someone else, wait until she replies. The concert is on Saturday. We have a seat next each other. That's a bit awkward. Today is Wednesday, I also thinking if I should send her an ultimatum, or just be patient.

I also consider just going alone, seat in an empty seat not next to her, then approach her, and tell her that she is not an empathic person, and acts through social media without impunity.

I really enjoy the music, but I want to meet people now.

**Title: My MIL became violent with me, I was arrested, and now I’m being accused of being the aggressor. What should I do?**

pls also don’t say anything abt divorce because biblically this doesn’t excuse it. nor is that a stand i want to take.

I’m looking for advice because I honestly don’t know what to do from here.
My MIL has always been hostile toward me, so over time I’ve gotten used to dismissing her behavior. On this particular day, she was hostile toward me pretty much all day. She was watching my husband and I’s 1-year-old son while we went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday.
While we were gone, she became angry and jealous and told us she was kicking us out of the house, but that she was keeping our baby until we “got our lives together.” My husband and I live with her, but she has said irrational things like this before, so neither of us initially took it seriously.
When we got home, she sent another message saying that only our baby could live with her and that my husband and I could not. Again, we basically ignored it.
A few moments later, she came into our room aggressively questioning me about her cameras being unplugged. I could tell she was already hostile, so I told her to discuss it with her son, my husband, who was in the bathroom at the time.
She started getting louder with me. My husband came out of the bathroom and tried to de-escalate the situation, but that made her even angrier because she does not like when he defends me.
She then started threatening to get violent.
This wasn’t the first time she or her 19-year-old daughter had made threats toward me. I’m 5’0 and around 110 lbs, while they are both significantly bigger than me, so I had previously bought pepper spray for my protection.
When my MIL said she was going to swing at me, I went to grab the unopened, still-sealed package of pepper spray. My husband told me that she was talking to him and not me at that moment, so I put the box down.
My MIL then became aggressively interested in the pepper spray and started pushing my husband out of the way to grab the box and open it.
At this point, my 1-year-old was sitting in his high chair in the middle of everything.
I was extremely worried about him being around all of this, so I told my husband to let me get to our son because I didn’t want him hearing or seeing the situation. However, because his mother was becoming violent, my husband wanted me to stay behind him for my protection.
I told her daughter to please grab my son and take him to another room or outside. Instead, she initially started instigating the situation, but eventually picked him up.
While my son was in her arms, she started trying to provoke me and saying things like, “What’s up with you?” and “You trying to get somebody for her? What’s up?”
I was telling her to stop and give me my son because I didn’t want to physically pull him away from her while she was holding him.
My husband heard the commotion and stepped in front of his sister because it appeared that she was becoming aggressive toward me.
While this was happening, my MIL had already opened the pepper spray package. She came over to us and physically grabbed/pulled me out from behind my husband, apparently trying to get to me.
I pushed her arm off of me.
She became even more aggressive, started calling me the B-word, and immediately began saying that I had hit her.
At this point, I was scared. I was yelling for them to give me my son because I just wanted to leave.
My husband grabbed our son, I took him from him, and I ran outside to my car.
My MIL followed me outside and started punching the glass of my car window as if she was trying to break it.
I started reversing, but then realized I needed to get my son safely into his car seat and get my husband into the car because his sister was becoming aggressive toward him.
I got out and put my son in his car seat. My MIL then tried to pull/break my car door. When she couldn’t get it broken, she reached into my car, took my keys, and ran back into the house with them.
She locked the keys inside the house, which meant I couldn’t leave.
At that point, I was trying to calm my husband down and telling him that we should just walk away or call the police because my phone and car keys were both inside the house.
Then the police arrived.
Three officers came and initially separated us so they could speak to everyone privately. I was speaking to one of the officers and trying to explain everything that had happened.
At some point, another officer came over, nodded to the officer speaking with me, and they stopped me from continuing. I was then detained.
I spent two nights in jail.
What I don’t understand is that I repeatedly tried to explain what happened, but I was told that my statement didn’t matter because they had already determined that I was the aggressor.
After I was released, I read the police report.
According to the report, my MIL told police that she had asked me to leave her house, I became upset, and I struck her in the chest.
That is not what happened.
There is another part that wasn’t accurately represented either. After she took my keys and locked them inside the house, I started banging on the door because I needed my keys and wanted to leave. She opened the door, got on top of me, and had her fist toward my face while saying that if I ever put my “MF hands” on her again, etc.
I put my hands between our chests and pushed her off of me.
Now I’m the one who was arrested and charged, and I’m struggling to understand how I ended up being labeled the aggressor when, from my perspective, I was trying to protect myself, get my child away from the situation, and leave.
There may also be camera/Ring footage related to what happened, but my MIL told police that the camera wasn’t loading.
I’m not posting this to get sympathy or to convince strangers that I’m automatically right. I genuinely want advice from people who have dealt with something similar.
**What should I be doing right now to protect myself legally and make sure the full story is heard?**
**Should I be trying to obtain the Ring footage, documenting everything, getting witnesses/statements, or doing something else?**
I’m in Florida, and there is now a criminal case against me.

Hey y'all!

Last year, I spent a lot of time being intentional about meeting people to find my potential partner. Each time I've had a crush, I gave it God & the door would shut one way of the other. I then developed a crush on someone from uni around November, did the same shebang & God gave me a strong vision when I took a nap (I rarely nap because it makes me groggy lol).

For a bit more context, I'm an (23M) Evangelical Christian who experiences visions & dreams. I have learnt to discern what's just my brain processing info, dreaming nonsense & God showing me something.

In that vision, I saw a vivid image of what my partner looks like, which took me aback since, at the time, I hadn't met that person before.

Now the dilemma I have, one of my closest mates is really good friends with her & has a crush on her but doesn't want to pursue anything intentionally. We had a whole big chat about this & it would change the dynamics of the friendship which is a pity. What's odd is that she's a go-getter type so it's possible she doesn't see things the same way.

Had another vision during the year about me & her walking a long windy road together. We reach a fork in the road & take the same path up a hillside & see a Porsche SUV (that part confuses me)

I did try pursue her & get to know her more but I felt gross about it because of my mate. Then I crushed on someone else, gave it to God & as He closed that door, He spoke to me directly. (first time it happened) He clearly said, "Show me your girlfriend's voice"

Now I'm perplexed on what to do. I'm struggling to trust God on this. Can visions expire perse? If anyone else has had a vision about their future parter & it came true I'd appreciate ye advice.

(I have talked to other Christian friends about this & they're perplexed as well. Unfortunately I don't have any elders in my life rn to guide me through this as I'm transitioning churches)

Edit for a bit more context: My mate, who has the crush, is someone whom God made very clear (along with 2 other mates) is a day one in this season.

I had a crush on a coworker about a year ago. He’s kind, caring, and thoughtful, so of course I was drawn to him. When I found out he was a Christian I was over the moon. I was too shy to ask directly if he was seeing anyone, so I had another coworker find out for me that’s how I learned he had a girlfriend. I’ll admit that before I knew that, I let my thoughts get carried away. Once I found out, I had to shut my imagination down and take those thoughts captive. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I had hope… but that’s my delusion , hopeless romantic self speaking……..

Some months later, he came to work wearing a wedding band and I congratulated him. Genuinely happy for him! But honestly, I don’t know why I felt saddened or disappointed I’m not sure what that says about me or my heart. What I do know is that I wanted no connection with him, because I still had this attraction to him, and I would never entertain the thought of being with someone in a committed relationship. Thats wicked and not God honoring

Now I find myself trying to limit our interactions, but it just makes things feel so awkward. I don’t want to give him the cold shoulder , he’s my brother in Christ but honoring God feels like it means keeping my distance. I’m not sure how this all comes across, but I genuinely don’t know what to do, especially since we’re both part of the same prayer group at work.

Just a bit happy to find this group!

Hi everyone. I believe that Christianity is a relationship not a title or a religion. I have come to learn that a number of people especially some men in this group confuse Christianity and religion. Some of them even do not know what salvation is . If you ask them, now how did you come to know Jesus, they either give you some vague answers or some barely can't explain.

I find it very interesting and it has made me think I'm in the right group.

So I thought of asking this question here to both men and women.

What does Christianity and salvation mean to you and should it look like to you in your future Christian partner?

You are allowed to share also how you got born again/ encountered Jesus and when.

You can share as much as you want and as little as you feel comfortable.

Feel free to chat in the comment section or message me if you wish.

Forgive me mods if this is not allowed here but I believe it's a very important question especially in a Christian dating space like here. You never know what kind of meaningful connections it can create.

What's the bare minimum 2 people need to have in common to be equally yoked & be able to spend their married lives together according to God's will?

Hey everyone. This is actually my first post on Reddit. I’ve mostly been reading, but one thing I’ve liked about this platform is that people seem willing to actually talk through what they’re thinking and feeling. So I figured I’d try being a little vulnerable myself.

I’ve been thinking about this lately.
I’m in a season where I’m genuinely trying to focus on myself growing, healing, learning, strengthening my faith, and building a life I care about. Most days, I feel good about where I’m going.

But sometimes the loneliness still hits.
I do want a healthy relationship eventually.

I want companionship and someone to share life with. But I also don’t want finding a relationship to become the focus of my life or make me overlook everything I already have.

I’m starting to realize that maybe fulfillment and loneliness aren’t necessarily opposites.

Maybe you can have purpose, family, friendships, faith, goals, and a life you’re genuinely grateful for… and still wish you had someone to share certain parts of it with.

I’m learning that there’s also a big difference between “I feel lonely right now and I’m going to end up alone.
I’m still learning how to sit in that difference.
For those of you who have gone through a season like this: How did you learn to want love without making finding love the focus of your life?

Hello! I 30(M) am looking for advice on dating as a Christian. Background about me, I committed my life to Christ when I was 18 years old and then publicly announced it through Baptism. I went on and off in belief after that for a while but I have come to a much secure place in my faith since then. I was looking for a godly relationship/wife for a long time (WITHOUT PRAYER), I know insane. I used the typical avenues of dating apps (Christian and secular) and honestly that's about it. Here are my questions...

1. Besides sitting behind a screen on a dating app how can I purse Christian women in a godly manner?

2. I am finally attending church on Sundays on a regular basis, I am trying to be more disciplined about prayer and scripture reading, I'm growing my relationship with Jesus, and I'm joining a small group to be with other believers!

3. Can anyone (married, single, divorced, dating, anyone) impart some wisdom on me that can help me in my process of pursing a godly woman?

I can provide more context or answer questions if need. Feel free to private message me too. Thanks!

I’m kind of old-fashioned, but I’m still open to using dating apps. I don’t like the idea of dating multiple people at the same time. If things are going well with one person, I focus on them only. However, I realize that not everyone thinks the way I do, and they think it’s okay to go out with different people everyday. How do you guys handle dating apps?

For context, I only happen to attract a certain type of women which I'm not quite attracted to, and I was wondering if I have to kinda change my preferrence on women since it might be God's will at this point.

I like tall, modest women who don't smoke and have tattoos. So not a 'tradwife', but someone who's a 'good girl' like me. I actually don't mind tattoos, but my parents would never approve her to be my wife.

But every girl who show interest in me, in real life AND on dating apps, was either heavily tattooed, smokes a lot, smokes weed, or was short. And ALL of them were Kpop fans probably because I'm an Asian guy.

At least they were all Christian though but not quite the stereotypical ones. The girls at my church are quiet, has no tattoos at all, don't wear much of revealing clothes and talks like their parents taught them well.

Not complaining though cause at least some women find me attractive, I guess?

Dunno guys, just asking for your opinion.
I feel like when talking about being a student, i feel almost friendzoned or the convo dies soon. As if in uni u couldn't have a fair source of income? 😅
( sure, i date to marry, but not in 3 months, if that makes sense)

Been arguing with a couple of the boys on this, so was wondering what you would consider to be the ideal scenario when you get married and start planning your life together. You can consider any possibility and say what would sway your opinion to one side or the other.

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