Abusive MIL, need (GODLY) advice
**Title: My MIL became violent with me, I was arrested, and now I’m being accused of being the aggressor. What should I do?**
pls also don’t say anything abt divorce because biblically this doesn’t excuse it. nor is that a stand i want to take.
I’m looking for advice because I honestly don’t know what to do from here.
My MIL has always been hostile toward me, so over time I’ve gotten used to dismissing her behavior. On this particular day, she was hostile toward me pretty much all day. She was watching my husband and I’s 1-year-old son while we went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday.
While we were gone, she became angry and jealous and told us she was kicking us out of the house, but that she was keeping our baby until we “got our lives together.” My husband and I live with her, but she has said irrational things like this before, so neither of us initially took it seriously.
When we got home, she sent another message saying that only our baby could live with her and that my husband and I could not. Again, we basically ignored it.
A few moments later, she came into our room aggressively questioning me about her cameras being unplugged. I could tell she was already hostile, so I told her to discuss it with her son, my husband, who was in the bathroom at the time.
She started getting louder with me. My husband came out of the bathroom and tried to de-escalate the situation, but that made her even angrier because she does not like when he defends me.
She then started threatening to get violent.
This wasn’t the first time she or her 19-year-old daughter had made threats toward me. I’m 5’0 and around 110 lbs, while they are both significantly bigger than me, so I had previously bought pepper spray for my protection.
When my MIL said she was going to swing at me, I went to grab the unopened, still-sealed package of pepper spray. My husband told me that she was talking to him and not me at that moment, so I put the box down.
My MIL then became aggressively interested in the pepper spray and started pushing my husband out of the way to grab the box and open it.
At this point, my 1-year-old was sitting in his high chair in the middle of everything.
I was extremely worried about him being around all of this, so I told my husband to let me get to our son because I didn’t want him hearing or seeing the situation. However, because his mother was becoming violent, my husband wanted me to stay behind him for my protection.
I told her daughter to please grab my son and take him to another room or outside. Instead, she initially started instigating the situation, but eventually picked him up.
While my son was in her arms, she started trying to provoke me and saying things like, “What’s up with you?” and “You trying to get somebody for her? What’s up?”
I was telling her to stop and give me my son because I didn’t want to physically pull him away from her while she was holding him.
My husband heard the commotion and stepped in front of his sister because it appeared that she was becoming aggressive toward me.
While this was happening, my MIL had already opened the pepper spray package. She came over to us and physically grabbed/pulled me out from behind my husband, apparently trying to get to me.
I pushed her arm off of me.
She became even more aggressive, started calling me the B-word, and immediately began saying that I had hit her.
At this point, I was scared. I was yelling for them to give me my son because I just wanted to leave.
My husband grabbed our son, I took him from him, and I ran outside to my car.
My MIL followed me outside and started punching the glass of my car window as if she was trying to break it.
I started reversing, but then realized I needed to get my son safely into his car seat and get my husband into the car because his sister was becoming aggressive toward him.
I got out and put my son in his car seat. My MIL then tried to pull/break my car door. When she couldn’t get it broken, she reached into my car, took my keys, and ran back into the house with them.
She locked the keys inside the house, which meant I couldn’t leave.
At that point, I was trying to calm my husband down and telling him that we should just walk away or call the police because my phone and car keys were both inside the house.
Then the police arrived.
Three officers came and initially separated us so they could speak to everyone privately. I was speaking to one of the officers and trying to explain everything that had happened.
At some point, another officer came over, nodded to the officer speaking with me, and they stopped me from continuing. I was then detained.
I spent two nights in jail.
What I don’t understand is that I repeatedly tried to explain what happened, but I was told that my statement didn’t matter because they had already determined that I was the aggressor.
After I was released, I read the police report.
According to the report, my MIL told police that she had asked me to leave her house, I became upset, and I struck her in the chest.
That is not what happened.
There is another part that wasn’t accurately represented either. After she took my keys and locked them inside the house, I started banging on the door because I needed my keys and wanted to leave. She opened the door, got on top of me, and had her fist toward my face while saying that if I ever put my “MF hands” on her again, etc.
I put my hands between our chests and pushed her off of me.
Now I’m the one who was arrested and charged, and I’m struggling to understand how I ended up being labeled the aggressor when, from my perspective, I was trying to protect myself, get my child away from the situation, and leave.
There may also be camera/Ring footage related to what happened, but my MIL told police that the camera wasn’t loading.
I’m not posting this to get sympathy or to convince strangers that I’m automatically right. I genuinely want advice from people who have dealt with something similar.
**What should I be doing right now to protect myself legally and make sure the full story is heard?**
**Should I be trying to obtain the Ring footage, documenting everything, getting witnesses/statements, or doing something else?**
I’m in Florida, and there is now a criminal case against me.