Feels like everyone is moving forward and I’m stuck
I have a happy, healthy 3 year old. I’m so thankful for him and he’s truly a joy (most of the time).
I also am my 17 year old brother’s guardian. We became his guardians when he was 12. It’s been the hardest, loneliest thing I’ve ever done.
We thought we would be able to be “normal” and just proceed with life like any other late 20s couple. Not true. And now I feel in this limbo state of wanting to grow my “nuclear” family as “normal” but our stress level is high. And the three year old era has truly hit me. (Is there a postpartum depression equivalent to toddlerhood depression? I’m so overwhelmed with the tantrums and feel so much more isolated than ever before and I’m not myself at all and have way more anger than feels like myself.)
We had a ton of life hit us very fast and without all the details I hope this makes sense, but basically we are drowning in life. No baby needs to be added to this equation. But all my friends and family are having babies and on the complete “normal” track of 2 under 2 and the like. I understand and can reason there’s no true normal of course. And never think hard about others children’s birth spacing or whatever. I just am lamenting my children’s lives being affected by this truly hard time of life we’re in now and my bio kids may very well be 5+ years apart. Which is hard for me to mentally accept for some reason. I can’t picture it I guess or know what to hope for because it’s different than anyone around me. And the constant “when’s the next one coming??”
And just the added layer of being a teenagers guardian in this stage is so isolating. My friends are nice and do try to support but have no idea.
My friend just told me she was pregnant today and I just haven’t been able to shake this super sad fog off myself. I’m so sad. (Completely and totally happy for her!)
Encouraging words would really help right now. I feel like I’m on a lonely island.