I feel like I’m too obsessed with finding love
I feel like I’m going down a constant spiral of trying to find love to the point where I’m basically trying to fight myself to stop thinking about it I keep using dating apps and it’s getting unhealthy I’ve had partners in the past but this most recent one kind of just “broke” me. We didn’t stay together for a long time, which is the thing that kind of messes with me. (it was three months) but for some reason, I felt so attached to that person because they felt like a breath of fresh air cause the relationship I had before that one ended really roughly, and I don’t know how I got that attached within three months. It feels so weird. I keep saying I’ve gotten over that relationship, but I feel like subconsciously I haven’t. I live in a pretty small town, I can’t really meet people “like that” cause I usually just see the same people most of the time and most of the people in my town aren’t really people I would “talk to” and I’ve tried other things to keep the thoughts of trying to be in a relationship out of my head like trying to workout or drawing but up recently, I can barely do those things cause it just dwells on me so much that the fact every time I mention one of their names in a topic about ex’s, like let’s say with my friends for some odd reason, one of them just text me out of the blue and makes me remember everything that happened between us and I feel like I’m going crazy and yes, I know that my brain is still developing and I’ll go through things like this a lot, but I don’t know why just in that small of a time, I felt so attached to that person sometimes at the point where even if I hear their name my stomach starts to hurt and I’m trying to better myself obviously and I
think I’m doing well (somewhat) and I kind of just feel alone and I’m trying to deal deal with the loneliness, but they’re still a side of me that wants to still be in a relationship, but I feel like I’m not ready for one anytime soon as I am right now at this current moment and sorry if this is like confusing, but I just kind of wanna leave us out there