Reading again "The courage to be disliked" to get back on track
I read this book years ago, maybe around 10 years back, and it stayed with me long after I finished it.
Lately I've felt lost, probably this feeling has been incremented by how many deep changes I've made in the past year: ending a 15-year relationship, moving from Europe to Asia, changing my work environment and rebuilding myself almost from scratch. I did all these things to escape my previous self, and yet I brought it with me, keeping it as "my current self".
Somehow, while casually talking one evening, I ended up telling my current girlfriend that I wanted to read The Courage to Be Disliked again, and she gifted me a copy.
The first thing I noticed wasn't the gift itself, but the absence of a written dedication inside it. That reaction alone made me realize how defensive and emotionally tangled I’ve become lately. I'm a prick.
I also had a therapy session with the same therapist I used to see 10 years ago, in videochat.
It didn't help much this time. Maybe because I already know the patterns, and because understanding yourself intellectually and actually changing are two different things.
The first time I read this book, I finished it in two or three days. This time I want to take it slowly: one chapter per day, reflecting on it properly.
I'll write down thoughts and summaries for each chapter on my substack. It will take months, as changing requires.
Take care everyone.