u/Dazzling_Gap9064

So here’s a story. My sister got married a couple of years back (intercaste). My parents were obviously against it and it took a lot of convincing for them to finally accept it. At one point, my sister and parents weren’t even talking and I tried my best to convince them to let her marry whoever she wants to but typical nepali mindset— ghar ko ijjat. I furiously explained chhori ko life bhanda ghar ko ijjat thulo ho? They finally accepted and I couldn’t be more relieved seeing the happiness in my sister’s eyes.

But one relative in particular started b1tching basically making my parents feel bad saying kasto intercaste garna lagiche hai chori ley and that she wouldn’t even imagine her kids doing that as if it was a crime. She went as far as to tell my parents that she knows the guy’s family through a friend and have been told that they’re not good people, chhori ley dukha pauche which couldn’t be further from the truth. My sister’s inlaws are actually very nice people. Educated, hardworking, humble. But that relative started filling trash into my parent’s minds. And that made my parents skeptical and at one point once again, started backing down. I basically said that dukha paye ni aafnai decision le garda pawos. Caste milney kta sanga bihe vayo vaney chai sukha pauche bhanney k guarantee cha? She’s a grownup adult— let her take her own decisions. Her happiness is way more important than so called samaj ma ijjat. This time, I was even more angrier. My sister eventually got married, my parents finally realized that her inlaws are actually gem of a family. But that relative of ours would every once in a while remind my parents indirectly saying things like how do you cope with your daughter bringing shame to your family?

Fast forward to a couple years later, something unexpected happened. That relative’s daughter ran away with an intercaste guy. Actually ran away. Lmao. She has neither visited us, nor called us ever since. Everything she said about my sisters’ inlaws was false. My parents, sister and her inlaws everyone is very happy except for— well, you know who ;)

I recently learned that my mom is a victim of this. I never saw it until now. Maybe because I was too young and naive or because my mom hid it too well. Let me share a few instances.
My mom said that during her early years of marriage, she was pressured for dahijo. After a lot of pressure, my mom did bring a few jewelry but my family (hajuraama in particular) gave it away to my dad’s younger sister during her marriage. My mom gets so emotional about it remembering how much her parents had sacrificed to get her that jewelry.

Recently there was a religious event in our neighborhood which my mom and hajuaama attended. While there, my hajuraama apparently said to my mother ghar jauu, malai wait garna pardaina ma aafai aauchu. But guess what? After my mom left, hajuraama started saying to the people around there saying malai buhari ley eklai chhodrea gaii— deliberately ruining my mom’s reputation.

Don’t even get me started on the daily allegations like she doesn’t help around the house. My mom is the hardest working woman I know. Just last week, my mom had a fever yet she was cleaning the house. I forced her to rest and did the cleaning myself. But my hajuraama blamed my mom saying babu lai kaam garna laako aafai nagarera. Again— Not straight to the face but bitching about it to the neighbors/relatives. Apparently my dad faces this too. Each time my father tries to help around the house, he isn’t allowed saying my mom needs to do it. Whenever hajuraama isn’t around, it’s always me and my dad working— we let mom rest. Now My father is very innocent. He doesn’t understand any of this. Initially I used to feel angry but I now realize my father was raised this way because my thulobaba is also same. According to my mom When I was very young— perhaps 4-5 y/o she made my dad speak up about it and my hajuraama threw a huge tantrum after which dad never said anything.

I think this is a fairly common thing in Nepalese households— toxic behavior towards daughter-in-law. Why is this so? In my neighborhood, I have seen similar stuff. One lady in particular— what she does is deliberately ruins the food her buhari is cooking for eg- adds excess salt secretly and then bitches about it saying khana pakauna ni janeko chaina.

Recently my mom is starting to open up about all this to me perhaps she thinks that now I am adult enough to understand this and I feel so bad about it. My mom often says— timi chai dhukka hou, I will never be toxic towards your wife. Will love her like my own child because I want to give her what I never received.

kathmandu medical college— one of the most toxic workplaces. Doctors work 36-72 hrs duty and are forced to work in sinamangal as well duwakot. But you’ll hear sunil Sharma promoting it as a social service saying duwakot ma ni adhunik sewa bistaar bhako cha. The thing is sinamangal ma 24hrs shift garesi doctors are forced to go to duwakot. And next subsequent day ma chhuti ni hudaina so back to back to back just duty hours. Don’t even get me started on the pay scale. It’s peanuts compared to the work the doctors put in. When sunil sharma says he provided free treatment for X no. of patients, behind that will be a doctor who hasn’t received salary for months. Why is no one saying anything about this? sunil sharma has gone quiet after facing defeat in the election but his toxic work environment remains the same. Would you like to be seen by a doctor who hasn’t slept in 24 hours and who hasn’t received salary for months?

I am planning to take a full time break to study for step 1 in 5 months. Is it doable? A lot of people I know are saying it takes 9-12 months. I recently graduated med school and hence my preclinical knowledge is not very good but I have been at the top of my class throughout med school.

The fact that even highly educated people like doctors engineers are a part of the yemale cult is very shocking. Well unemployed, party ko jhola bokney haru ta understandable, but why those educated people? I have seen a lot of such people. Blind followers despite being highly educated and respected in the society. Sukumbasi basti ko photo share gardai rajya ko daman vandai post gareko chan.

PS: I get it, everyone has the right to have a political ideology and follow a party/leader they want. But yemale ko corruption, sept 8 ko state terrorism is so apparent. Testo bela those people didn’t speak a word. Ahile aayera ramro kaam garda ni false narrative set garna try gardai chan.