No sexual attraction after 10 years of marriage. But I don’t want my marriage to end … any advice please?
So, I did have sexual attraction when we first started dating. And then About 4 years in I decided to go to therapy to heal childhood trauma. I delt with grooming from 7-13 and I was s******y abu**d from those ages as well.
When I healed my trauma, I quickly realized that
growing up I thought “sex=attention” so thats how I lived my life even through marriage(until I went to therapy).
I am no longer attracted sexually to my husband and it has nothing to do with him- I’m not attracted to it in general, at all. The times we have intimacy (1,2 times a week, although sometimes we go 2 weeks with to contact) I do it because I know it’s important to him, and thats his way of connecting with me. I can still feel the sensations, I just don’t care for it.
I’ve spoken to him about it, he knows everything I’m sharing with you, but he says he has to think if this is how he wants to live his life (forever with me). It really is important to have intimacy if not everyday at least 3,4,5 times a week. I just can’t do that. And I’m sad because
I know he wants more than what I can give him , and I still can’t bring myself to like sex.
There’s no cheating, he helps out with the house and the girls, he is pretty much the head of our house- although I work and make decent money too and help with vacation time and things like that.
Thank you for reading I really want to know what you think about this
*edit- he told me intimacy helps him feel wanted and desired, I told him if there was anything else I can so he knew he was wanted & desired , and he said that was the only way- he acknowledges everything else I do for him but that’s just it.