Am I being sexy? Or am I being abusive to my husband?
I am an American woman married to a Pakistani man. He comes from a culture where men tend to be a bit more possessive and I find myself enjoying that side of him. I identify myself as a feminist and when we got married, he assured me that he will always respect my views and my freedom. He has stayed true to that but deep down inside he can not change who he is and I find myself intentionally teasing him.
I am quite modestly dressed but sometimes, I will intentionally wear a low neck line. He does not like it when people stare at my bust and though he never mentions anything to respect my choice, I can sense that he does not like another man staring at them. His suppressed aggression is never towards me but towards others who hold their gaze a bit too long.
He gets that "dont even DARE look" body language which is purely unintentional but quite intimidating but I find it to be sooooo cute! In all these four years that we have been married, he has held his promise and never told me how to dress. Though I know his unstated preference and he would want a bit more modesty in the chest area in those occasions.
I ask myself why do I enjoy doing this to him? Firstly, he is very attractive and we could be standing next to each other and people will not realize that we are together. Bi!tches act out and compete for his gaze but if I have a low neckline, I know he will notice any of that theater. He would either look at my curves, or scan protectively who is looking at his treasures. I find it cute to see him like that.
Secondly, he will always bring me home and make love to me in the most possessive way. It makes me feel secure though he can be rough.
My ex-husband was a swinger. He would enjoy passing me around and I felt pressured to be in those situations. I had to get drunk to not feel those moments and just go along to please him. I felt like I did not mean anything to him. It led to domestic abuse in my past marriage.
This man is the exact opposite. To have someone act jealous and possessive is very "sexy" to me and I find myself orgasming like four to five times when he loves me like he "owns" me. I know it sounds bad but I feel like I belong to him and my ex never made me feel like that.
Sometimes, teasing can be sadistic and I do not want to be the abuser. It makes me wonder if this is innocent teasing or abuse? It is a form of control over your spouse.
tl;dr I intentionally expose myself to make my husband jealous