AITA for not wanting my girlfriend’s friend stopping by to use the bathroom at 715 Monday morning?
So this morning I get woken up at 7:15am by my girlfriend, (Rachel), saying that her friend (Ashley) was stopping by to use the bathroom on the way to work and was letting me know because it would be loud, because Ashley is loud as fuck. I do not like Ashley, not even a little. So I immediately leave until she’s gone because I’m not starting my day to the sound of her loud ass voice.
Who stops by someone’s house that early knowing everyone is getting ready for the day.
The reason I don’t like this woman is because every time we’ve hung out as couples, she always brings up my girlfriend’s ex. I’m talking lengthy conversations and just keeps it going. I set there once for 30 minutes listening to the 3 of them talk and I had nothing ti contribute. I haven’t been back around the friend since.
When I get back home I get screamed at and berated for being a coward and trying to control who she’s friends with. I told her she could hang out with her whenever she wanted but not to expect me to go and that 7am bathroom stops were not going to happen anymore.
Especially the fact that she told me to be ready for it being loud, like how about Ashley adjusting herself to the environment and respecting someone else’s home. I will absolutely not ‘adjust’ to someone else’s in my own home.
She says Ashley is just an ‘outspoken woman’ and I can’t handle ‘strong women’.
So now it’s come down to if I’m home she has no business coming to our house. So am I the asshole?
*****edit for some clarification*****
- we live together. My gf was there the entire time. It was her apartment, I moved in. She lost her job 4 months ago, I’ve been paying 100% of the bills.
- there were no drugs involved. Friend was on her way to work and said she needed to stop and use bathroom.
- after I returned home(I was gone 10 min) she was screaming as soon as I got there. Which led to me screaming back then we were both assholes that kept escalating the issue.
- on the occasions the friend brought up the ex, it was awfully convenient that it was right after we had a disagreement about her relationship with him(they have kids together but I thought they were entirely too friendly, that entire conversation my girlfriend had all kinds to add about he exs current personal life) almost like she knew exactly what to bring up. Rachel has been divorced for 20 years. She was with another guy for 8 years before me, which was Ashley’s cousin, but yet she never mentioned the most recent ex.
- This was a one off thing. She’s never stopped to use the bathroom like that before. When I left, she had already pulled up, sitting in her car, she wasn’t racing to the toilet by any means. She was being vindictive.
- I left because I’m not a morning person and was woken up to the warning of a person that has blatantly disrespected myself and my relationship so I thought it best to leave because I knew there was a good chance she’d try to push some buttons and under my current state of mind it might have worked. So I dipped for 10 min.
***edit 2 typo****
- divorced 10 years not 20. And for those of you being hung up on the age or me not liking sitting in the middle of a conversation about my partner’s ex for 30 min like that’s the important part, I’ll give you Ashley’s number, that’s your people.
***update and final edit***
Set down with gf and had a talk after we had calmed down and had time to think. After hearing me out, she agrees her friend is fucked up. After that realization she started connecting other dots, and it appears this problem solved itself. I appreciate all the comments, even the AH’s that decided to take certain things out of context and focus on that, I hope you get to experience what I just did, and I hope it’s at an old age. ✌️