WIBTA if I attended a funeral?
I 27 female used to date (fake name) Allison 27 female back when we were about 20. When I was dating Allison her mom opened up to me about health complications and how she almost passed away in 2020 during Covid. We only did it for nine months, but those nine months were very meaningful to me after me and her daughter broke up. I stayed in contact with her. Her daughter was not the happiest about this for the first couple of years. We talked very minimally and when we did, it would be the mom reaching out to me as per a boundaryI said, so it wasn’t every single day we were talking getting together obviously it was more, so hey how are you doing? I hope you’re doing well. Let’s meet up for drinks and that would probably be maybe two times a year anyway fast forward to the present. Allison‘s mom passed away and her husband knew I was still in contact with her because I was in contact with him as well. The only person I wasn’t in contact with this family was my ex and that was because we both moved on pretty quickly after our relationship. We got into other relationships with other people pretty quickly. Allison does not want me at the funeral, but the husband does. I’m not going to be bringing my wife to this out of respect, but Allison did text me and said “I don’t want you there. You don’t have a place in my family.” Obviously that hurts a lot, and I want to respect her, but the husband is really insisting on me coming.
So that leads me to my question, will I be the asshole if I go to the funeral?
EDIT: The husband is Allison Biological father