Homelessness makes your head work differently.
Right off the bat, I'm talking true homelessness, not that 1st world little girl bullshit of having a fluffy cozy car. I'm talking sleeping in the pavement and under the wet fog of the morning.
Goals looks much more unattainable than they probably truly are. Since I was never particularly well off, since childhood, I always knew I wouldn't ever own a home or ever have a car, it's crazy to think those are objectives people have. Jobs are quite hard to get by, pay little and you'll probably be fired in 3 months or so, jobs are hard to get in general, but not being particularly trained in something specifically warrants a special breed of uncertainty.
And of course the elephant in the room. I for one never had one particular goal in mind, well, one long ago but I might as well wish upon a star for becoming an astronaut or some shit for how impossible it realistically is. If nothing is attainable, everything looks far and out of reach what is the real point. The million dollar question: why?
Why bother? Why go on? Why?
Personally I don't have one single answer to that, I just walk forward to see the end, same reason why I wonder endlessly about death and what comes after, but I'm sorely curious for life as well so why not? I can't imagine my life 5 years down the line, hell, even 2 years looks completely nebulous and given how much I've seen, I can only forecast the same kind of insanity will ensue, but each day I'm less and less curious about life. In the beginning it was sadness but lately it has been just exhaustion. The lack of purpose isn't more reason to be flirty with the ultimate display of freewill as much as tiredness.
Answers are hard to come by and the questions just pile up more and more as time goes by.