I dont know what to do, i cant breathe
I don’t even know if I’m overreacting anymore or if my pain is actually valid.
The person I loved told me that “we were on a break,” and somehow that sentence is supposed to erase everything that happened after. But it doesn’t. It replays in my head every single day.
While we were apart, he got close to his friend in ways that honestly shattered me. Dancing together, cuddling, making out while drunk… all the things couples do. And maybe technically people can argue what counts as cheating or not, but emotionally? It destroyed me either way.
What hurts is knowing that while I was sitting there missing him, hurting, thinking about us, he was creating moments with someone else. And now I’m left carrying images in my head that I never asked for.
I keep questioning myself:
If you truly love someone, how do you even want that with somebody else?
How do you get physically and emotionally close to another person that quickly?
And why does “we were on a break” feel less like an explanation and more like a loophole?
The worst part is how confusing heartbreak becomes. One minute I’m angry and feel betrayed. The next minute I miss him so much that I hate myself for still caring.
This whole thing has affected me mentally more than I can explain. I barely feel like myself anymore. I overthink constantly, compare myself constantly, replay everything constantly. It’s exhausting carrying this kind of hurt around every day while pretending to function normally.
I just want to ask people who’ve gone through something similar:
How did you stop obsessing over the details?
How did you heal after feeling replaced?
And how do you rebuild trust in love after something like this?
Because right now my heart feels completely exhausted. And i feel like dying.