u/DeductionLogico

Hi all,

I (13M) have posted on here previously where I talked about coming out to my parents. (Which did not work out to great)

It’s been two months and we still have yet to have a discussion about it again. Since then I also came out to some other kids at my school, 9 now. And they have all been super supportive and been helping me through the thing going on with my parents. Unfortunately they are all straight Christians, so they don’t “get” the full picture because this isn’t something they will ever have to worry about, or at least think they won’t.

I also use to be bullied a lot, which luckily has calmed down but I do face the minor bullying or teasing, mostly from the rugby or hockey boys.

There also are quite a few other queer kids in my grade. Though they aren’t my type of people so we never really hang out. There are also rumours going around about a boy who might be bi (And I also might like said boy and kind of always thought he have bi vibes). I don’t really know if I should trust the rumours (which I won’t). Some kids say he talks about being bi and his friends have confirmed it but I haven’t heard either of those things.

I need some advice on what to do here, or on how to go to an adult about this. And since South African law says nothing about religion in schools I go to a (public) Christian school. With all the teachers being either of a Christian denomination or Jewish. There are some teachers who I trust and think I can go to. Specifically my drama teacher, Ms G. She is really nice and understanding and she is practically the school counsellor (Since we don’t have any). We only see her once a week, Thursdays, for our last lesson. After our last lesson for the day we have a 20 minute homework lesson that teachers use to do admin and kids use to complete homework, clean the class and pack their books away. I don’t really know how to approach her after a drama lesson and I feel like I will need a lot more than just 20 minutes. And staying longer would raise suspicions with my grandma and brother (she picks us up from school).

And since we don’t have drama in the third term I don’t have an hour after school before it, which she gives. So I can wait until next term (Which starts in 2 months), or I can do it this term. My third option would be waiting until the schools Orange River tower which she is going on with the 53 other kids.

So any suggestions on what to do?

(Also sorry if this doesn’t make any sense or the writing is bad English is my second language and I am so overwhelmed by this whole thing)

So I (13m) came out to my parents last week.

My parents talked to me about in person today, and it wasn’t what I was hoping for.

Basically my dad said he doesn’t know how to process this, that it feels as if his son is being taken from him and that it goes against our, or well their, religion entirely. (My family is heavily Christian)

My mom went on to say that queer relationship have no loyalty or respect and they don’t work, and she used my lesbian aunt (Dad’s sister) as an example (Who has been married for over 10 years and has 2 grandchildren). My mom also said she found multiple studies saying that boys who have poor relationships with their father (which I don’t have the best relationship with my dad) find the masculinity in other boys/men appealing and mistake it for being about their sexuality. Which is wrong.

And the fact that I am 13 doesn’t help either since my parents don’t believe someone under 18 can know anything about sexuality.

What do I do here?