u/Deep-Intern-3534

Okay Reddit I genuinely need help because my head is all over the place and I don’t know if I’m being manipulated, if this is toxic, or if I’m actually in the wrong.

So me and this girl have a long history. We’ve dated before, been on and off, still tell each other “I love you,” call every night, sleep on the phone together, flirt, sexual stuff, all of that. We basically act like a couple even when we technically aren’t.

Here’s where it gets messy.

Literally the DAY BEFORE all this happened we were saying “I love you,” talking about dating, doing sexual stuff, sending pics, talking like a couple, etc. Then the NEXT DAY she calls me and says she thinks we should just be friends because people are catching on to us and she doesn’t think we could ever really be together publicly and doesn’t wanna drag me along. Okay, cool. That hurt, but I stayed calm and accepted it.

BUT THEN… she kept texting me all day. Calling me “baby.” Saying she still loved me. Saying she wished we could be more than friends. We were literally supposed to call later that night like usual.

Now here’s where I might be wrong or maybe not???

I went to hang out with someone else (girl I know, let’s call her Jocelyn). In my head I’m thinking: “Okay… you literally said we’re just friends now, so why would this matter?” Also, yes, this girl has been a jealousy issue before.

Charlie finds out I’m at Jocelyn’s house and LOSES it. Starts saying I “chose an 18 year old over her,” says after we literally had sex I called Jocelyn, says she’s done with me, told me to leave her alone, cussed me out, and acted like I betrayed her. Mind you… SHE was the one who said we’re “just friends.”

I kept trying to explain I wasn’t choosing anybody over her and that wasn’t my intention, but she basically didn’t believe me.

Then later in the night she starts posting lingerie pics, “who wants to FaceTime?” stories, cute pics, etc. which honestly feels like she’s trying to make me jealous because I KNOW her and this wouldn’t be the first time she acted like this when upset.

BUT THEN she starts replying to me again later and the vibe softens.

So now I’m confused as hell.

Like… am I tripping? Was I wrong for hanging out with someone after SHE said we were just friends? Is this manipulative? Toxic? Jealousy? Did I actually hurt somebody I love and just don’t wanna admit it? Or are we both toxic at this point?

Please be brutally honest because my head hurts.

OK Reddit I genuinely need outside opinions because me and this girl’s relationship sounds toxic on paper but doesn’t FEEL toxic to us and I can’t tell if we’re just emotionally attached as hell or if this is actually becoming something real.
So me and her dated before. We broke up. Time passed. Then one day she basically told me to spin back. Problem is… she had a boyfriend at the time. We started talking again, then hanging out again, then eventually started messing around behind the scenes.
At first it was very FWB/sneaky link energy. But now it doesn’t even feel like that anymore.
Now we:
sleep call
say “I love you”
get jealous over each other
comfort each other emotionally
stay on the phone when one of us is crying
act like a whole couple without technically calling it that
She went from calling me “bae” to calling me “baby.” She randomly checks on me, tells me she loves me, didn’t wanna go to sleep because she “didn’t wanna leave me up by myself,” brushes my hair after showers, and gets shy about certain PDA around friends but still kisses me in front of them now.
We definitely have intense energy sometimes and we’ve both done messy shit, so I know Reddit is probably gonna call us toxic immediately 😭 but at the same time, when I’m with her it feels genuine. We laugh together, comfort each other, and actually care about each other a lot.
So Reddit:
Are we toxic?
Or are we just two emotionally intense people that accidentally fell back in love?