r/CheatedOn

Hey Reddit, I need to vent and finally close a toxic chapter of my life. I’m currently realizing how badly I lacked self-respect for the last year and a half, and I’m ready to finally walk away.
The Backstory & The Hidden Messages:
About 1.5 years ago (back in April 2025), my ex (let's call him D) and I broke up. The catalyst was horrific—I caught him and my friend (let's call her M) kissing in our bed. A huge fight happened. The next day, I had to go to work. While I was at work crying my eyes out, D and M actually went on a group trip with our entire friend group (including M's boyfriend, H), acting like absolutely nothing happened.
Right after I got home from work that day, I went into D's computer because I knew something was wrong. That's when I found their chat and took the screenshots. However, I was in such severe emotional shock that my brain couldn't fully process what I was reading between the lines.
When I confronted M back then, she looked me in the eyes and swore on everything that they never slept together. She claimed it was just "a mutual crush," that they wanted to seek therapy to find out why it happened, and that they never went all the way. Back then, I blamed my ex for everything. I convinced myself that he was the one who initiated it all and pushed it on her. I wanted so badly to believe her, mostly because I was terrified of losing my entire friend group and being completely alone. So, I suppressed my true feelings for months, chose to forgive her, and tried to keep the peace.
The Hypocrisy & The Group Dynamics:
We stayed in the same friend group and saw each other about once a month, playing pretend. During this year and a half, M and I actually shared many good times together. We laughed, we hung out, but deep down, I could never look at her the same way again. The trust was dead, but I kept masking it. Meanwhile, another girl in the group, N, clearly picked M's side and has been treating me like trash ever since.
A few months ago, the whole group went for a weekend trip to Berlin. At breakfast, N started loudly ranting about her old friend "Diana," calling her a piece of trash because Diana slept with her friend's boyfriend. N literally said, "I can't be friends with someone who destroys her friend like that."
Reddit, I was sitting right there. M was sitting right there. M literally did the exact same thing to me, yet the whole table just went dead silent, looked at their plates, and quickly changed the subject. No one ever called M out.
The Upcoming Wedding & My Internal Conflict:
M is now engaged to her boyfriend, H (the guy she was with when she cheated with my ex). Their wedding is planned for next year. Here is the kicker: H has no idea his fiancé cheated on him, and my ex, D, is actually H's best friend. D is going to be the Best Man at their wedding.
Finding out about this wedding completely triggered me. For the last six months, it has been morally devastating to watch. When my current, amazing boyfriend found out about it, he immediately refused to go, saying it's a moral cesspool. I got incredibly defensive, we had a huge fight, and I almost blamed him for being controlling. But during that fight, he confronted me and said, "You can't seriously go to a wedding for someone like her." He held up a mirror to me, and it made me realize the truth. I admitted he was completely right, the defensive wall fell down, and I apologized to him. He has been a saint through all of this, and I'm so grateful he helped me see clearly.
To prove a point to myself after that conversation, I recently opened those old screenshots from April 2025 again. Reading them now, with clear eyes in 2026, completely shattered me.
I saw them literally coordinating and fabricating the lies they were going to tell me. In the chat, my ex told her the fake story he gave me—that he just "pushed her down on the bed" and went to change his shirt, and that their attraction was only a three-month-old sympathy they wanted to handle through a therapist before anything physical happened. Then, my ex literally wrote: "I wish that were true, though." and M replied: "Yeah, pretty much."
They were plotting their cover story to save their skin while knowing the reality was much dirtier. But the worst part? M literally wrote to my ex:
"Well, at least it was worth it 😃😃"
"I will always keep that memory hidden in the back of my head."
My ex asked her if she still thinks of him during sex with her boyfriend H, and she replied: "Not yet, I’m trying my best 🤪."
She also openly admitted she would have jumped into bed with him again in a heartbeat if he asked, and explicitly wrote about "having to live with the fact that she cheated."
She swore to my face they didn't sleep together and that she was innocent. Meanwhile, she was bragging in their chat that "at least it was worth it," laughing at me, and planning how D would "make me back down" so they wouldn't look bad.
Why I Stayed Silent & How I Feel Now:
The reason I never showed these screenshots to H (the fiancé) is because back then, my ex and her emotionally blackmailed me. H was on antidepressants and in a very bad place mentally, and he threatened that if I told H and ruined their friendship and his relationship with M,he might hurt himself. I was terrified of being responsible for something terrible. On top of that, H already received two anonymous text warnings from someone else over the past year, but he chose not to believe them.
But because I stayed silent and kept pretending, I now feel consumed by guilt. I feel like an accomplice in their lie. Sitting at the table with them and playing pretend makes me feel just as dirty and spineless as them, like I am stained by their filth.
Right now, I am dealing with such a painful internal conflict. There isn’t a single day that goes by where I don’t think about this. It is eating me alive, and I honestly don't know how to end this relationship and cut them off without causing a massive, dramatic explosion.
However, I am done. I am taking my self-respect back, getting my dog's paperwork legally transferred solely to me so my ex can't blackmail me anymore, and I am finding a way to step out of this darkness. I am skipping the wedding and choosing my own sanity.
Thanks for reading.

Throwaway account because this is very personal and I don’t want anyone I know to identify me.

I’m 40 and have been married to my wife for around 12 years. I love her very deeply, which is probably what makes this situation so painful.

I’ve recently discovered that my wife has developed what she describes as a “mutual understanding” with another man from her workplace. They have exchanged messages that, from what I’ve seen, go well beyond what I would consider appropriate between two married people. There have been messages about missing each other and sexual/flirty comments.

The man is quite senior at her workplace, which makes the situation even more complicated because they are likely to continue seeing each other professionally.

My wife has said that she is “sort of no longer happy” in our marriage. She hasn’t fully admitted to everything that I suspect has happened, and I’ve asked her to tell me the truth because I would rather hear it from her than find out pieces of it myself.

I’ve also asked whether she would be willing to show me the messages so I can understand what has actually happened. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life checking her phone or investigating her. I just feel that after something like this, I need honesty before I can decide whether there is anything left to save.

My biggest concern is that even if we try to continue, this man will still be at her workplace. I don’t know how I’m supposed to rebuild trust while the person involved remains part of her working environment.

I’m at the point where I don’t think I’m willing to continue the marriage unless there is complete honesty and meaningful boundaries around this relationship. At the same time, I love my wife enormously and the thought of losing our marriage is destroying me.

I’ve been struggling to sleep and my heart rate has been noticeably higher than normal for the last day. I’ve spoken to a trusted friend/manager about what’s happening and I’m trying to give myself some space rather than reacting impulsively.

I don’t want revenge. I don’t want to contact the other man or cause problems at her workplace. I just feel completely lost.

For people who have been through something similar:

-Am I being unreasonable by wanting to see the messages?
What boundaries would actually be reasonable if we tried to reconcile?

-Is it realistic to rebuild trust when the other person still works with the person involved?

-And how did you know when it was time to stop trying?
I would really appreciate honest perspectives, including if I’m looking at this situation in the wrong way.

Update this morning:

Her: Good morning. I’m sorry for what I did. You are such a kind person and such a perfect husband, but I still went and texted someone else. I have no excuse for what I did.

Me: I need to review the messages between you and him. I am not asking to control you or examine your entire phone. I need to understand what occurred. You have apologised and admitted messaging him, yet I still lack the full picture. I need you to be honest with me.

Her: There’s nothing now, it’s already deleted.

I only texted him, that’s all. I just enjoyed the attention I was getting.

Me: nope, try to recover it, find a way to.

My gf (20) and me (20) have been together since we were 18. I had a feeling over the past couple of months that something just isn’t right.

I noticed over time her personality slowly changed into something completely different, she’s more angry with me, tolerates less of my humour and talks different to what she once did. Now, that alone can’t be a reason to suspect cheating, but it put a thought in my mind "what if she is". I know we are young and young people’s personalities can be easily shifted during this stage in life, but I just have a feeling that it’s not a “growing up thing” you know?

We used to go out to bars when we first met, we fell really fast for each other. We had so much passion towards one another and it just felt the only person she saw in the world was me. She would drive anywhere to see me (I didn’t have a car at the time) which made me feel so special and lucky.

However, I feel now like a stranger to what we once were. I missed this feeling of us just appreciating each other in the moment. The laying down and just hugging, the free flowing conversation and the intimacy we once had feel like a long time ago. It makes me really upset and whoever’s unlucky enough to be reading me blabbering on is probably wondering where the thought of cheating comes to mind.

Well…

I came over to her house to sleepover a couple months ago.
She goes to sleep earlier than me so she leaves the iPad on for me to watch while I stay awake. She keeps loads more photos of us and memories than I do and I was reminiscing during my late night thoughts. So I went through her photos on camera roll and found some things I found really questionable.

And I know before people say it that I’m violating her privacy, but we never had an issue with each other using the other’s phone.

I found photos of her and what I think co workers on a night out together. For some reason I felt instant dread. I looked through more and she is in photos 1 or 2 men with their arm around her waist. This made me feel very uncomfortable as I just don’t feel fine with others touching my girlfriend. I went though more and found more similar photos with different people, and one where her hand is basically resting on a guys crotch while he’s sitting down.

I dug deeper around the time we were just getting together. I find a TikTok draft in her camera roll with the caption “I think I’m falling in love” and in brackets says (I can’t stop cheating) and it’s her videoing herself singing a song. I felt like I was going to throw up.

Did I just not know the person I was getting with? Am I just misunderstanding this?

It hurt because I know she was a flirty girl before me. She’s really attractive and knew she was getting attention. We had a small issue at the start of the relationship regarding this. She let some other random man buy her a drink when we were out at a bar and didn’t see the problem until I got annoyed.

I need some help guys

I found out that my partner of 6 years (fiance of 1.5) cheated on me during her show.

I (29m) was with my partner, "Bloop" (25f) for 6 years. We started dating during the pandemic. I had plans to move to NY but then I met her and covid was happening.. so naturally we only saw each other and fell deeply in love and I stayed in our hometown. We are both theatre actors. Through the 6 years we were together my career took off more than hers, and it became an issue. I loved her so much and tried to look past so much of her jealousy of me and other friends of ours that were performers. Over time she got a little better about it and that was nice, but there were times it came back around in a bad way. For example, one time she came to a show of mine and left halfway through. Her mom had gotten sick and didn't feel good, but that's not the reason she told me she left. She told me it was too hard for her to watch the show because she wasn't in it and she really wanted it. That was a year into our relationship and something told me that should have been the end of things.

But it wasn't. I had to have a conversation of keeping our theatre lives separate because she was too jealous and unfortunately also insecure. No compliment I ever gave her meant anything. Any help or suggestions I tried to give her were unhelpful because she would always take it as criticism and she never did well with that. She would tell me how hard it was for her to deal with embarrassment and shame.

Even still, I loved my Bloop. She was funny, gorgeous, silly, loving, generous, caring, talented... All of that. Her flaws were just that, flaws.

We are both autistic... However she blatantly denied my autism and I kind of let her. Hers manifested itself in ways that unfortunately didn't let her see past herself most of the time. And I feel like she needed to be the only one... So I kind of let her? But like... I'm definitely also autistic. She's the only autistic person in my life (I have lots) that hasn't immediately realized my autism.

This year I felt her pulling away from me. She pulled away from our friends. I'm a huge nerd and I play lots of DnD and games of the such with our friends and she's so not into it that she just decided to stop hanging out with them all together. She would constantly talk about how much she wasn't into fantasy, fiction, or nerd culture and how it frustrated her that everyone wanted fiction and escapism but she didn't. It kind of bothered me because the way she would say it, especially this year, made me feel like she was saying she didn't like me...

She got cast in two shows this year. In the first show she had huge problems with professionalism in her show. She unfortunately can be unprofessional and bad at keeping her shit together for a show. There was a horrible miscommunication (I'm now realizing on her end) that I had to get involved with to try to help save her from her own bullshit. I now realize she was the problem and I made myself look like an ass defending her.

BUT HERE'S THE BIG ONE. The second show she did took up her entire summer. Which sucked because I was working more than I have ever worked in my life this summer. I was in a show, I was choreographing a show, I was directing a show (3 separate shows) at the same time. I was doing so because she lost her job and I had to support us financially for most of the summer. I barely saw her at all except for nights when I was getting home and she was going to bed.

As it turns out, she had been falling in love with one of her castmates the entire time...

The night I came to see her show I rode with her there and met with her family at a restaurant next door. We had a great time and all day I was talking about how excited I was to see her show and celebrate her. Before the show I get sick and vomit and I'm not feeling great, but I thug it out and I still have an incredible time watching her show. It was a brand new work and she was telling me how many changes it had gone through during rehearsals and it being rewritten and new songs getting added or taken out. Regular theatre shit. I was so excited.

The show was phenomenal. Afterwards I talked in the lobby with so many people about her and how incredible she was, including her castmates. She took a long time to come out, and my social battery was dead and I didn't feel great . But I gave her a huge hug and kiss and told her she was amazing. For the next 40min she talked with people and I kind of hung back because I didn't have it in me to do anymore socializing (autism).

On the way to the theater we picked up her friend "Holly". There was a weird vibe on the way to the show in the car but I thought nothing of it. Well, we also had to give Holly a ride home...

On the ride home I told Bloop I was very tired and my social battery was dead and I had thrown up. But they seemed to want to stay out and hang. I tried to make it clear I wasn't vibing with that and when asked I said I'd be down to go home. I then get a text from bloop saying I'm being rude and that she was dropping me off at home and staying out. Something was so off about it though. And there was just this horrible vibe in the car with Bloop and Holly... I tried to quietly talk to Bloop and tell her I'm sorry and I'm ok to stay... But she ignored me like I wasn't even talking to her. Literally. So we get to the corner of our home and at the stop sign I just get out and walk the 5min home. I text her that that was super shitty and I had just spent the whole day excited to see her show and celebrating her. She instead wanted to focus on a comment I said about being excited to see the next production of the show and what it will be and what will change... because it's a brand new work and that's literally how that goes. She made it into me being critical about the show and not liking it. We argue on the phone. She had stayed the night at Holly's house the night before (even though we never saw each other except nights) so I told her hey, just stay at Holly's house again because if you come home I don't think we're not gonna fight and I felt she was just being really weird and out of character.

Well, that night she did stay with Holly... and slept with her. And I don't believe that was the first time, it's just what I found out. I didn't find out until days later after she had still been staying at Holly's house because something in my spirit was telling me something was really really really wrong and I shouldn't see her. While she was there we texted a little, and I told her I didn't think this was working. She agreed. But it was all after she had been falling for her and then cheating on me. I bought her flowers and told her I loved her on the 4th day of is not staying in the same house. That entire day I was spiraling because something was so wrong in how she was talking to me and the vibes I got in that car.

So I checked her iPad, something I've never ever done.

Something I wish I hadn't done.

Turns out she cheated on me that night after we gave Holly a ride. It was obviously with Holly. The person she had been spending ALL of her time with all summer while I was never home working to provide for us.

I called her, it was an hour before her show. I asked her straight up. She lied. I asked her again. She lied. She lied and then lied. I told her I knew she was lying. That's when she disintegrated.

I crashed out. I had been cheated on in the past by a partner and it destroyed me and I BEGGED this girl to never ever ever ever do that to me. I told her she could do a lot of things but that was the ONE thing I'd lose my mind about... and she did it.

So I, in return, told everyone. I made a post on Facebook/Instagram almost immediately and told everyone what she did. Because 1) I only talked about how much I loved this girl and was excited to marry her. And everyone knew it. So I couldn't have people not knowing and coming up to me asking about her 2) ...I knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. I knew that she felt with feelings of embarrassment and shame a lot and that this is the kind of thing that would destroy her right back. And now she views me as equally wrong for telling people.

And it did. She's leaving the state. She's not sorry for what she did, she's sorry she got caught and I told everyone. I know if she could go back she wouldn't not cheat on me, she'd just take her iPad with her from home.

She is still with Holly. It's been 2 months and I moved in with my best friends into a new house. I'm spending hundreds less a month. But she kept our house and our cats and now had a new girlfriend. And I live in a constant state of shock and disbelief. I poured into this girl and invested my heart and life for 6 years. All I knew was loving her. But she kept me on a string for so long when I know she was gone long before she cheated on me.

So now we're two people who don't have any contact and we destroyed each other's lives.

And she's the only person I want to talk to about it. She was my best friend. My Bloop. I loved her so much. I have panic attacks all the time reliving me hearing Holly's voicemail to her saying she enjoyed their time together and how good it was. Any time I want to text her that I love her and realize I can't I want to fall to my knees and curl into a ball.

Tldr: my partner of 6 years cheated on me with a castmate after I begged her to never cheat on me and I told everyone.

Hey all - First time posting here, could really use some advice and I welcome any perspective on the situation.

Me and my girlfriend have been together 7.5 years, our 8th year anniversary is February 2027 when I was actually planning to propose. We also have a house and mortgage together.

Recently things have felt off, like she's distant with me  both mentally and physically. She had major knee surgery a few months back and was in pretty bad shape, so I put it down to that. I was basically her carer for 5/6 months up to now following the op.

I was packing clothes away recently when I found a vape. This is something she knows I have strong views against, both smoking and vaping. I didn't raise it, but have found a couple since. This led me to look at her phone, as I saw an app flash up that was focused on recovery from the vape issue. 

Usually looking at a partners phone is a massive no for me, I felt awful. Whilst on it I came across some messages on insta and Snapchat with an ex partner, who she's continued to speak to. The worst in my mind was around a year back, on her birthday when she was with me, where they're back and forth about how they could meet up at his place or a hotel - but I have no confirmation if they met. This one is particularly bad with me, as it was a week before the year anniversary of my mum passing away in an accident. The thought that she was doing this at all, let alone close to that makes me feel sick... The fact that these messages are on Snapchat too makes it suss. There were also drunk messages to a guy from her home town to pick her up and "go home together", with loads of missed calls back and forth between them on a night I wasn't with her.

I honestly feel awful for breaking her privacy and checking her phone. I'm not sure what to do, we've both been through a lot together. Anyone who's had a similar situation? I plan to confront her calmly tomorrow. Thanks a lot in advance.

I’m posting this because I really need outside opinions from people who don't know us personally. I’ve changed some details because I don't want anyone who knows us to recognize the situation.
My husband and I have been together for most of our adult lives. We have been married for more than a decade and have children together.
Recently, I discovered that he had been talking to another woman. At first, I thought it was just one person, but when I confronted him and asked him to be completely honest with me, he admitted there were other women and other situations that I didn't know about.
One of the women was significantly younger than him, and from their conversations, it appeared that they had plans to meet in person. He insisted that there was more to the situation than what I was assuming, but at this point, I don't know what to believe anymore.
Then I found out about another woman who was connected to someone in our extended circle. My husband admitted that they had spent time together drinking. They were also in a private room at our house at one point. The other person's relative told me about this and said she wasn't sure whether anything physical happened between them.
My husband says nothing happened.
But that's the problem now. I don't know what is true and what isn't.
After confronting him, I left our house for a while and stayed with a family member because I needed space to think. I thought that being away from him would give me some clarity.
Instead, while I was gone, he went out drinking. Later, I found evidence that he had brought another woman back around our home and was being physically affectionate with her.
This happened after I had already confronted him about his cheating.
I honestly don't know how to process that.
At one point, I told him that I would try to forgive him. A big part of that decision was because of our children. We've been together for so long, and the thought of breaking apart our family scares me.
But now I'm having second thoughts.
I keep thinking about everything he has admitted to, everything I discovered myself, and everything I still don't know.
What scares me the most is that I don't even know if this is the complete truth. I feel like every time I learn something new, the story changes.
I'm struggling between wanting to save my marriage and wondering whether staying is just going to teach him that he can hurt me repeatedly and I'll eventually forgive him.
We've spent so much of our lives together that walking away feels almost impossible. But at the same time, I don't know how I'm supposed to rebuild trust when there have been multiple betrayals.
I'm not asking Reddit to tell me what I want to hear. I genuinely want honest opinions, especially from people who have been through infidelity.
If you were in my position, would you still try to save the marriage, or would you leave? And if you've stayed after multiple betrayals, were you ever actually able to trust your spouse again?

So, I just want to preface that this is seriously all real and I’m not a bot because I’ve posted before and it’s gotten taken down because people think I’m rage baiting. This is my real life unfortunately!!!

To start out, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 11 months. Our relationship started off rocky, I just got out of a 3.5 year relationship and met him 3 weeks later. After just talking for 3 weeks we started dating. I cheated on him by sleeping with my ex bf 3 weeks after him and I started dating. I didnt tell him until 2 months later. Apparently he was cheating on me too with this older woman. He didn’t tell me about that, I found out myself.

Ever since we found out about this, we realized that we both weren’t totally committed to eachother the first month of dating, but realized we wanted to stay together and be 100% committed. We created boundaries and told eachother we are going to be honest if we want this to workout. So that is what we did.

Fast forward to last week, I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach because I found a text on his phone from a girl named Ella. It was in his recently deleted in his iMessages. So obviously I went and read the texts and from what I saw he said “hey” first, then she said “hey” and he said “what’s going on cutie pie” and she responded with “nothing much”.

He told me he had no idea who Ella was, even tho her name was in his contacts. He told me he thought it was a fake number becuase the text messages were green. I got so upset and started crying. The next day, the feeling of him maybe cheating on me made me feel sick to my stomach. So I went crazy and decided to DM 50 girls off his Instagram that he follows.

I found out from abojt 4 girls that he matched with them on hinge a week ago, 2 weeks ago, a month ago, and 2 months ago. Hes had hinge this whole time. Apparently matching with girls and then saying “slide me your number” or “slide me ur snap”. And not only that, but I also found out that he hung out with THE ONLY GIRL THAT HE SNAPCHATS BESIDES ME. he hung out with her A MONTH AGO. he jsut got a new dog, and so apparently this girl came over to his house a month ago for an hour, and they didn’t makeout, do anything sexual etc. they only hugged. I was in contact with her and completely believe her because their stories all matched up. She also isn’t into him and they have been friends for a while. She stopped snapping him a few days ago.

Apparently when he hung out with her, he asked her if she was talking to anyone, and she then said to him” I thought u had a girlfriend” and he said “no we just broke up”. And not only this, he also asked her to hangout again a freaking week ago. The girl told me all of this. And when he asked she gave him her work schedule. But apparently he realized he actually didn’t want to hang with her and so they just never did.

I also found out that he’s been flirting with girls on Snapchat, and adding/unadding them when we are hanging out or not hanging out. He has gotten hinge multiple times throughout the past 6 months of us dating.

This was his excuse. He said “everytime I was uncertain about you I just got hinge to get attention. But it didn’t even go anywhere. I didn’t text any of them or call/FaceTime any of them. It was a mistake and I realized after seeing how much this hurt you that I will never do this again. I promise”.

I have done nothing since February when we found out about the cheating and made a commitment to eachother. I have been 100% loyal to him. I have not texted another man, flirted with another man or hung out with another man. I’m the type of person that if I make a promise I will not break it. I know i cheated on him the first 3 weeks of us dating, but clearly I was not ready to jump into a relationship after only being single for 3 weeks. This is not an excuse, it’s just the truth.

He says he wants to prove to me how loyal and amazing he can be. He said he realized how committed I actually was and how committed he is going to be from here on out. The thing about all of this, I FOUND OUT BY BEING A DETECTIVE. even after I found out about the hinge, I brought it up to him and he was only telling me what I knew. Until I knew more information and brought it up he would then say “oh yeah i forgot about that I’m sorry, it meant nothing, it was a mistake”. He said he didn’t tell me about any of this because he was too ashamed. And I asked him if there was anymore information he was withholding and he said no trust me. Then couple days later is when I found out MYSELF that he hung out with a girl. When I brought it up to him he just said the same thing. He said “I only did it to see how it would feel, to see if I had true feelings for you or not”. And then he said “it was wierd and awkward when I hung out with her. I didjt like the feeling and realized I liked you”. Which is weird right, because he asked her to hangout again last week??

I really don’t want to see comments about how stupid I am for still being with him and how I need to breakup with him. That’s not what I’m looking for. I guess I’m looking for the psychology behind all of this.

Why did he do that? How can he say he loves me and cares about me when he did this? How insecure is he? Does he do it for attention when he’s sad? What could the psychology be?

I (20F) him (19M) so track back to a few months again say jan/feb this is where it started. So my bf had this friend (18f) i was never worried bout those chats i never checked his phone i never added her i did nothing. But i started noticing a shift in his attention. We went from talking everyday for hours to lucky if i got 4 messages. This started happening a few days after he added her. I thought he was just going through something so i left it and around 4 weeks later i was the one having to keep the conversation going. So i stopped. I stopped typing i stopped calling i still loved him but i stopped giving attention just like how he was to me.

This lasted around 2 weeks of almost no contact. Til one day i finally asked "so hows your friend going." He started stating how she has been going through stuff and he has sat on call with her almost everyday trying to help her through it all. Then i asked have u guys been opening up to eachother this entire time? And he says no, so i left it but 2 days after that i grabbed his phone when i came over to his place, i opened the chats and it was him saying he was single and sh*t talking me saying i was his ex and all this and how he loved talking to her. In those chats they never got together but it was a constant ongoing emotional connection and to me it feels a whole lot worse then physical cheating. He would always get so defensive over the chats and i see why now. After u trued to leave him he keot saying he was gonna block her and he did, little did i knkw he had her on a alt acc and a week passed and his behsviour was still the samw so i did some digging into her followers and found the acc. I knew i coyldnt confront him bc the same thing will jusr happen on repeat so i left him, and he instsntly unblocms her on his main within like 30mins of me leaving. That hurt but is it considered emotional cheating?

I dont really know what to do now bc he contacted me a few days ago asking ti get back to together and how he was sorry and all this.

Me(29/M) and my girlfriend(26/F) have been dating since last one year. Things were really going very well between us. Before I met her, I got cheated on by my previous ex which had led to a bad breakup. I had lost hopes on finding love, had major trust issues, suicidal thoughts, and I finally moved on. Later I met my current gf. It was all lovely and like a dream come True. We shared the most romantic bond, and Finally I had decided I'll marry her. Until one day, where we had sex and were lying down naked and having a little love talks post sex, wherein she called me by her ex's name. I was confused and obviously angry. She reacted telling me that be happy that i didn't call his name during sex, why are you so angry about it? We fought and sorted it out. I apologized for my anger. But my paranoid mind refused to give up. Days later, i found out she used to hide WhatsApp conversations with guys. My paranoid mind refused to give up again.I checked her phone after taking her consent and discovered that she was in a relationship with another guy after we started dating. The guy whom she was in relationship with, I ended up talking to that guy and found out that They had broken up like 8 months ago apparently. We were dating since more than a year. Now if I look back I dont know whether it was all a sham. I really dont know what to do. I haven't confessed to her that I know about it. And I dont know what to do. Pls somebody help me out.

We’ve been together for almost three years and living together for one. Everything seemed totally fine, until last night when I was checking my email for a receipt and saw an automated Uber trip receipt sent to our shared account

It was a ride at 2 AM on a Tuesday to an apartment complex on the other side of town. The same night she told me she was working late at the office and slept at her female friend's place because she was too tired to drive. When I checked the dates, there were like 6 other trips to that exact same address over the last few months

I brought it up this morning and she completely froze before coming up with some weak story about helping a coworker move. Now im just sitting at work unable to focus on anything. It's the fact that she was so calm lying to my face for months that scares me the most

How do you even start processing that the person you trusted most lived a completely double life?

Refuses to show me anything or give access. Has Snapchat and score was 68. All of sudden she deleted snap chat now and has a snap score of 72. Fact is 4 snaps were added or sent. But she says nope that's not true im wrong and it's all me. Im phycotic she says.

I (24F) was just told that my partner (26M) has been cheating on me for some time. One of his ‘flings’(?) said they left it on bad terms around May and she confirmed that there were/are others.

My heart feels like it’s struggling to beat. I feel like it’s happening to someone else.

It’s not the first time I’ve been cheated on but I thought it would be the last and that I’d found a good thing.

The worst part is I feel so embarrassed. He’s met my family. I’m sure his friends knew, his neighbors knew (I was over at his all the time). And now I’m almost the last to know.

I can say he was good at hiding it. I had NO idea. None at all. He was caring, attentive, loving and all those good things.

I know I’m still young and all that but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I may leave, I may not. I can’t express the hurt to my friends because I’m just not like that so strangers are easier.

I’m not looking for any advice, just hoping to feel a little lighter and I do. At least I can make it to work tomorrow.