u/Muted_Location922

Is my relationship worth saving when my family won’t accept my boyfriend anymore?

I’m 24F and my boyfriend is 30M. We have been together for a while and lived together for about a year. For a long time, we had a beautiful relationship. He became my world and my sunshine, and I still love him deeply despite everything that has happened.

About a year into our relationship, I found out he had been messaging other girls. It completely broke my heart, and I ended up moving out because I couldn’t understand why he had done it. Eventually, I chose to forgive him because I loved him and wanted to believe we could move past it.

At this point, my family didn’t hate him. Things changed after Christmas.

He came over to my family’s house and everyone had been drinking. My mum started questioning him about some of the arguments we had and why certain things had happened between us. He became very defensive, got up and left, and since then my mum has said she doesn’t want to see him again.

Then came the situation with my cousin, which honestly broke me.

My cousin went behind my back and contacted my boyfriend for a conversation. My cousin later told me that my boyfriend was the one who wanted the conversation and that he had basically told him he needed to stop cheating.

For a long time, neither of them admitted that they had even met or spoken to each other. I was stuck in the middle, being told different versions of events, while both of them denied that the meeting had happened. It genuinely drove me insane because I didn’t know who to believe.

Eventually, my boyfriend was the one who showed me proof that they had met and what my cousin had actually been saying to him. He showed me that my cousin had been telling him things about me and my past, including things that simply weren’t true. Some of them were horrible lies, and I suspect some may have come from my cousin’s wife, who has never liked me.

I still don’t know exactly who lied about what, but seeing the proof left me completely broken. I felt betrayed by both sides. My cousin had gone behind my back, while my boyfriend had also kept the meeting from me for a long time.

What made it worse was that I know my boyfriend never spoke badly about my cousin, whereas my cousin said horrible things about my boyfriend.

My boyfriend eventually broke up with me after meeting my cousin because of everything that had happened and everything he had been told. Eventually, we made up and got back together.

Since then, we have argued and things haven’t been the same, but somehow we always find our way back to each other because we love each other deeply.

My family, however, still doesn’t accept him. They have also become very against him because he is Muslim, and I feel that some of their feelings towards him are now based on Islamophobia rather than simply concerns about our relationship.

I understand my family wants to protect me, especially because he hurt me before, but I also don’t know how much their opinion should influence my decision when I still love him so much.

He really is my sunshine, and I genuinely don’t know whether I’m fighting for something worth saving or holding onto something because I’m scared of losing him
Tdlr

Is my relationship worth saving when my family won’t accept my boyfriend anymore?

I’m 24F and my boyfriend is 30M. We have been together for a while and lived together for about a year. For a long time, we had a beautiful relationship. He became my world and my sunshine, and I still love him deeply despite everything that has happened.

About a year into our relationship, I found out he had been messaging other girls. It completely broke my heart, and I ended up moving out because I couldn’t understand why he had done it. Eventually, I chose to forgive him because I loved him and wanted to believe we could move past it.

At this point, my family didn’t hate him. Things changed after Christmas.

He came over to my family’s house and everyone had been drinking. My mum started questioning him about some of the arguments we had and why certain things had happened between us. He became very defensive, got up and left, and since then my mum has said she doesn’t want to see him again.

Then came the situation with my cousin, which honestly broke me.

My cousin went behind my back and contacted my boyfriend for a conversation. My cousin later told me that my boyfriend was the one who wanted the conversation and that he had basically told him he needed to stop cheating.

For a long time, neither of them admitted that they had even met or spoken to each other. I was stuck in the middle, being told different versions of events, while both of them denied that the meeting had happened. It genuinely drove me insane because I didn’t know who to believe.

Eventually, my boyfriend was the one who showed me proof that they had met and what my cousin had actually been saying to him. He showed me that my cousin had been telling him things about me and my past, including things that simply weren’t true. Some of them were horrible lies, and I suspect some may have come from my cousin’s wife, who has never liked me.

I still don’t know exactly who lied about what, but seeing the proof left me completely broken. I felt betrayed by both sides. My cousin had gone behind my back, while my boyfriend had also kept the meeting from me for a long time.

What made it worse was that I know my boyfriend never spoke badly about my cousin, whereas my cousin said horrible things about my boyfriend.

My boyfriend eventually broke up with me after meeting my cousin because of everything that had happened and everything he had been told. Eventually, we made up and got back together.

Since then, we have argued and things haven’t been the same, but somehow we always find our way back to each other because we love each other deeply.

My family, however, still doesn’t accept him. They have also become very against him because he is Muslim, and I feel that some of their feelings towards him are now based on Islamophobia rather than simply concerns about our relationship.

I understand my family wants to protect me, especially because he hurt me before, but I also don’t know how much their opinion should influence my decision when I still love him so much.

He really is my sunshine, and I genuinely don’t know whether I’m fighting for something worth saving or holding onto something because I’m scared of losing him

My ex broke up with me and blocked me everywhere, but he knows I use X because I’ve messaged him there before, and he’s deliberately left me unblocked.

At first, he was posting vague things about how a man needs to “get himself up,” regain his pride and ego, and respect his space — basically very much about standing his ground and moving on.

Now his posts have completely shifted. He’s posting things about having to grieve and move past the dreams he had with “this person,” and it sounds much more like heartbreak and loss.

Why go from posts about pride, ego and standing your ground to posts about grieving the future you imagined with someone — especially somewhere you know I can see them? What is he actually trying to communicate?

Hey guys, a lot has happened and I genuinely don’t know what to make of this.

My ex has broken up with me multiple times in the past, and whenever he did, he would download Hinge/Tinder. This time I confronted him about it and he broke up with me. I downloaded Hinge afterwards too — probably childish, but I basically thought, “fine, if you’re doing it, I’ll do it too.”

He found out, unblocked me just to rage at me about it, and then blocked me again everywhere.
Since then, he’s been posting a lot of things that feel extremely targeted at me. Things like:

“The most dangerous people aren’t always the ones who lie to others…”
“Never lower your standards to keep someone in your life.”
“You can’t fix someone whose world revolves around their own pain. Your anger becomes cruelty… accountability becomes blame and excuses.”
“The sacrifice of hiding in a lie.”
“I missed who I am… I’m done looking backwards.”
“I belong nowhere and it hurts deep to the bones.”
“Maybe I was always meant to fight this alone. I’m just getting tired of surviving every battle instead of ever reaching the end of them.”

And these have all been posted around the breakup/after he found out I was on Hinge. I’ll attach screenshots because there are quite a few.

I’m currently going through a cancer referral and have an important exam in three weeks. In the past, he has also broken up with me around my exams, which really affected me.

I messaged his sister asking if she could please tell him to stop. I wasn’t asking for him back or asking her to take my side — I just wanted some kindness and peace while I’m already dealing with a lot.

She basically said, “How do you know the posts are about you? Just block him.”
So now I’m confused. Does he want me back? Is he angry about Hinge? Is he trying to hurt me or get a reaction? Or am I reading too much into the posts?
Because some of these seem very specific to what happened between us, but obviously I can’t know for certain that they’re about me.

I genuinely just don’t understand why someone who supposedly wants nothing to do with you would keep posting things that seem designed to get under your skin.

I am 24F and he is 30 y Male
Hey guys, a lot has happened and I genuinely don’t know what to make of this.
My ex has broken up with me multiple times in the past, and whenever he did, he would download Hinge/Tinder. This time I confronted him about it and he broke up with me. I downloaded Hinge afterwards too — probably childish, but I basically thought, “fine, if you’re doing it, I’ll do it too.”
He found out, unblocked me just to rage at me about it, and then blocked me again everywhere.
Since then, he’s been posting a lot of things that feel extremely targeted at me. Things like:
“The most dangerous people aren’t always the ones who lie to others…”
“Never lower your standards to keep someone in your life.”
“You can’t fix someone whose world revolves around their own pain. Your anger becomes cruelty… accountability becomes blame and excuses.”
“The sacrifice of hiding in a lie.”
“I missed who I am… I’m done looking backwards.”
“I belong nowhere and it hurts deep to the bones.”
“Maybe I was always meant to fight this alone. I’m just getting tired of surviving every battle instead of ever reaching the end of them.”
And these have all been posted around the breakup/after he found out I was on Hinge. I’ll attach screenshots because there are quite a few.
I’m currently going through a cancer referral and have an important exam in three weeks. In the past, he has also broken up with me around my exams, which really affected me.
I messaged his sister asking if she could please tell him to stop. I wasn’t asking for him back or asking her to take my side — I just wanted some kindness and peace while I’m already dealing with a lot.
She basically said, “How do you know the posts are about you? Just block him.”
So now I’m confused. Does he want me back? Is he angry about Hinge? Is he trying to hurt me or get a reaction? Or am I reading too much into the posts?
Because some of these seem very specific to what happened between us, but obviously I can’t know for certain that they’re about me.
I genuinely just don’t understand why someone who supposedly wants nothing to do with you would keep posting things that seem designed to get under your skin.

My ex and I were together for almost two years. Six months ago, I moved out after finding out he cheated on me. Since then, it’s been a cycle of him breaking up with me every couple of weeks, blocking me, and messaging other girls.
After another breakup, I finally downloaded Hinge after months of going through this. I wasn’t trying to hurt him; I was just trying to move forward. He found it about two hours later and became extremely angry.
Now he posts things on social media that don’t mention my name, but everyone who knows us knows they’re about me. I’m blocked everywhere, so I only see them because friends send them to me.
I’m confused how someone can repeatedly leave, hurt you, and talk to other people, but then get angry when you try to move on. Is this about control, or am I seeing it wrong? I am sad because I fought so hard now he hates me.

The posts mention :

I am a missed who I am. I missed the warrior spirit. I missed the discipline, the hunger and the belief that I could conquer anything. I’m done looking backwards. I know exactly who I am again, and I’m destined for far greater things.

I have never carried this much anger, rage and hate towards someone, I guess sometimes it’s just black or white, some people are simply bad and there’s nothing you can do about it

The most dangerous people aren’t always the ones who lie to others.They’re the ones who lie to themselves so convincingly that every betrayal,every broken promise and every hurtful action becomes justified in their own mind. Utterly mind blowing that these people exist amongst us.

Never lower your standards to keep someone in your life. A high value man protects his peace before he protects anyone else’s feelings.

My ex and I were together for almost two years. Six months ago, I moved out after finding out he cheated on me. Since then, it’s been a cycle of him breaking up with me every couple of weeks, blocking me, and messaging other girls.
After another breakup, I finally downloaded Hinge after months of going through this. I wasn’t trying to hurt him; I was just trying to move forward. He found it about two hours later and became extremely angry.
Now he posts things on social media that don’t mention my name, but everyone who knows us knows they’re about me. I’m blocked everywhere, so I only see them because friends send them to me.
I’m confused how someone can repeatedly leave, hurt you, and talk to other people, but then get angry when you try to move on. Is this about control, or am I seeing it wrong? I am sad because I fought so hard now he hates me.

The posts mention :

I am a missed who I am. I missed the warrior spirit. I missed the discipline, the hunger and the belief that I could conquer anything. I’m done looking backwards. I know exactly who I am again, and I’m destined for far greater things.

I have never carried this much anger, rage and hate towards someone, I guess sometimes it’s just black or white, some people are simply bad and there’s nothing you can do about it

The most dangerous people aren’t always the ones who lie to others.They’re the ones who lie to themselves so convincingly that every betrayal,every broken promise and every hurtful action becomes justified in their own mind. Utterly mind blowing that these people exist amongst us.

Never lower your standards to keep someone in your life. A high value man protects his peace before he protects anyone else’s feelings.

My ex and I were together for almost two years. Six months ago, I moved out after finding out he cheated on me. Since then, it’s been a cycle of him breaking up with me every couple of weeks, blocking me, and messaging other girls.
After another breakup, I finally downloaded Hinge after months of going through this. I wasn’t trying to hurt him; I was just trying to move forward. He found it about two hours later and became extremely angry.
Now he posts things on social media that don’t mention my name, but everyone who knows us knows they’re about me. I’m blocked everywhere, so I only see them because friends send them to me.
I’m confused how someone can repeatedly leave, hurt you, and talk to other people, but then get angry when you try to move on. Is this about control, or am I seeing it wrong? I am sad because I fought so hard now he hates me.

The posts mention :

I am a missed who I am. I missed the warrior spirit. I missed the discipline, the hunger and the belief that I could conquer anything. I’m done looking backwards. I know exactly who I am again, and I’m destined for far greater things.

I have never carried this much anger, rage and hate towards someone, I guess sometimes it’s just black or white, some people are simply bad and there’s nothing you can do about it

The most dangerous people aren’t always the ones who lie to others.They’re the ones who lie to themselves so convincingly that every betrayal,every broken promise and every hurtful action becomes justified in their own mind. Utterly mind blowing that these people exist amongst us.

Never lower your standards to keep someone in your life. A high value man protects his peace before he protects anyone else’s feelings.

My ex and I were together for almost two years. Six months ago, I moved out after finding out he cheated on me. Since then, it’s been a cycle of him breaking up with me every couple of weeks, blocking me, and messaging other girls.
After another breakup, I finally downloaded Hinge after months of going through this. I wasn’t trying to hurt him; I was just trying to move forward. He found it about two hours later and became extremely angry.
Now he posts things on social media that don’t mention my name, but everyone who knows us knows they’re about me. I’m blocked everywhere, so I only see them because friends send them to me.
I’m confused how someone can repeatedly leave, hurt you, and talk to other people, but then get angry when you try to move on. Is this about control, or am I seeing it wrong? I am sad because I fought so hard now he hates me.

The posts mention :

I am a missed who I am. I missed the warrior spirit. I missed the discipline, the hunger and the belief that I could conquer anything. I’m done looking backwards. I know exactly who I am again, and I’m destined for far greater things.

I have never carried this much anger, rage and hate towards someone, I guess sometimes it’s just black or white, some people are simply bad and there’s nothing you can do about it

The most dangerous people aren’t always the ones who lie to others.They’re the ones who lie to themselves so convincingly that every betrayal,every broken promise and every hurtful action becomes justified in their own mind. Utterly mind blowing that these people exist amongst us.

Never lower your standards to keep someone in your life. A high value man protects his peace before he protects anyone else’s feelings.

My ex and I were together for almost two years. Six months ago, I moved out after finding out he cheated on me. Since then, it’s been a cycle of him breaking up with me every couple of weeks, blocking me, and messaging other girls.
After another breakup, I finally downloaded Hinge after months of going through this. I wasn’t trying to hurt him; I was just trying to move forward. He found it about two hours later and became extremely angry.
Now he posts things on social media that don’t mention my name, but everyone who knows us knows they’re about me. I’m blocked everywhere, so I only see them because friends send them to me.
I’m confused how someone can repeatedly leave, hurt you, and talk to other people, but then get angry when you try to move on. Is this about control, or am I seeing it wrong? I am sad because I fought so hard now he hates me.

The posts mention :

I am a missed who I am. I missed the warrior spirit. I missed the discipline, the hunger and the belief that I could conquer anything. I’m done looking backwards. I know exactly who I am again, and I’m destined for far greater things.

I have never carried this much anger, rage and hate towards someone, I guess sometimes it’s just black or white, some people are simply bad and there’s nothing you can do about it

The most dangerous people aren’t always the ones who lie to others.They’re the ones who lie to themselves so convincingly that every betrayal,every broken promise and every hurtful action becomes justified in their own mind. Utterly mind blowing that these people exist amongst us.

Never lower your standards to keep someone in your life. A high value man protects his peace before he protects anyone else’s feelings.

I never thought I would write something like this, but I feel like I need outside perspectives because I’m struggling to understand what happened in my relationship.
I met Loay (30M), who is a doctor, and from the beginning we had a very strong connection. We fell deeply in love, and eventually we moved in together. I truly believed he was the person I would build my life with.
However, over time, our relationship became very complicated. There were trust issues, arguments, and repeated patterns that hurt both of us. He cheated on me multiple times, and each time I found out, I struggled with whether to leave or forgive him. He would apologise, say he understood the pain he caused, and promise things would be different. Because I loved him and believed in the future we could have, I kept giving chances.
But the relationship started affecting me emotionally. I felt anxious all the time, like I was walking on eggshells and waiting for the next argument or the next thing that would hurt me.
A pattern that became very painful was that whenever we had a major argument, he would block me. He would often say that the reason he was leaving or blocking me was because I needed to “change.” Even though I spoke to a psychiatrist who told me I did not have BPD or another condition like that, he would dismiss that and say things like, “I’m a doctor, I know better.”
He would tell me that I needed to be more feminine, more submissive, and that I needed to listen to him. He would say that my family didn’t care about me and that nobody was really there for me. During arguments, he would say extremely hurtful things, including calling me WORTHLESS (everytime, every week)

Then he would block me and disappear for days.

Those days were some of the hardest moments for me. I would feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety, waiting and hoping that he would come back. I would almost feel like I was waiting for the person who hurt me to also be the person who saved me from the pain.
I know I wasn’t perfect either. I reacted emotionally, I said things I regret, and the relationship brought out unhealthy behaviours in both of us. I don’t want to pretend I was completely innocent. But I also started questioning why I accepted being spoken to this way and why I kept hoping that the next time would be different.
Eventually, after another breakup, I moved out and went back to Romania. At the same time, I was struggling with other parts of my life. I had completed my law degree and master’s, but I was struggling to find a job in my field. Losing the relationship felt like losing the future I had imagined for myself.
Even after everything, we kept coming back to each other because the love was still there. I kept believing that if we both worked on ourselves, maybe we could fix things.
After the latest breakup, he blocked me again and said very hurtful things. For the first time, I downloaded Hinge. It wasn’t because I was ready to replace him or move on immediately. It was because I was trying to stop myself from contacting him and looking for comfort from someone who had caused me so much pain.
The hardest part is that I still love him. I miss the good version of us. I miss the person I thought he was and the future I imagined.
But I’m starting to question whether I was fighting for a relationship that could be repaired, or whether I was stuck in a cycle of being hurt, abandoned, and then relieved when he came back.
For anyone who has experienced something similar — how do you know when love is worth fighting for, and when you have to accept that love alone isn’t enough?

There is also something important I need to admit because I don’t want to paint myself as completely innocent

During one argument, we were in the car and things became extremely emotional. He was saying very hurtful things to me, calling me worthless and saying things that deeply affected me. I became overwhelmed and started feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I was begging him to stop the car and let me get out because I needed space, but in that moment I reacted badly. I pushed his hand away, the car swerved slightly, and afterwards I realised that my reaction was not okay.
I don’t excuse that behaviour. I know that wasn’t healthy, and it scared me because I saw a version of myself that I didn’t recognise. The relationship was bringing out the worst in both of us.

After that, I genuinely tried to work on myself. I stopped drinking alcohol because I didn’t want to become someone who reacted from a place of anger or pain. I worked on quitting smoking, and I managed to quit. I tried to focus on becoming calmer and healthier.
That was one of the reasons I went back to Romania. I needed distance. I needed to be away from everyone and everything connected to the relationship. I didn’t want to keep explaining what was happening. I felt embarrassed, and I didn’t want people judging me or laughing at me for staying in something that was hurting me.

For months, I tried to focus on myself and change the things I could control. But even while I was away, I still loved him. I would call him every day. I would ask him to stay on the phone while we slept, to talk to me, to watch series together — just to feel close to him again.
Looking back, I realise how much I was searching for reassurance from the same person who had also caused so much of my pain. I wanted him to be the person who made everything feel okay again.

I feel like I’ve done something awful, and I need an outside perspective.
My boyfriend had a pattern of breaking up with me, then adding or talking to other girls. Every time, I stayed. This time, after he broke up with me again, I downloaded Hinge because I thought, “If he’s moving on every time, maybe I should too.”
A couple of hours later, he found out. I hadn’t met anyone or spoken to anyone, but he sent me long messages telling me how mentally ill I am and how terrible I am. I’ve been crying ever since because I feel like I cheated.
The thing is, he was the one who ended the relationship, and I only downloaded Hinge after that. I still can’t shake this overwhelming guilt.
Did I actually do something wrong, or am I letting his reaction make me feel like I’m a terrible person?

I feel like I’ve done something awful, and I need an outside perspective.
My boyfriend had a pattern of breaking up with me, then adding or talking to other girls. Every time, I stayed. This time, after he broke up with me again, I downloaded Hinge because I thought, “If he’s moving on every time, maybe I should too.”
A couple of hours later, he found out. I hadn’t met anyone or spoken to anyone, but he sent me long messages telling me how mentally ill I am and how terrible I am. I’ve been crying ever since because I feel like I cheated.
The thing is, he was the one who ended the relationship, and I only downloaded Hinge after that. I still can’t shake this overwhelming guilt.
Did I actually do something wrong, or am I letting his reaction make me feel like I’m a terrible person?

I’m a 24-year-old woman studying the Legal Practice Course, and my ex is a 30-year-old doctor.
We used to live together. While I was studying, I looked after the house, and he helped me financially alongside support from my parents. I genuinely loved him and saw a future together.
Things changed when I discovered he had been messaging other women behind my back. I moved back in with my mum because I couldn’t trust him anymore. Around Christmas, he shouted at my mum during an argument, which understandably caused my family to lose all respect for him. He also met with my cousin’s wife, who has never liked me, and they discussed me behind my back.
During this time I became depressed and was drinking too much after university. On his advice, I started taking sertraline. Later, I saw a psychiatrist who told me I didn’t have the condition my ex kept insisting I had, and I was advised to stop taking it.
From then on, every argument seemed to end the same way. He’d call me “mentally ill,” tell me I had BPD, insult me, break up with me, block me, start following or adding other women on Instagram, then come back wanting to get back together. This cycle happened multiple times, and I always gave him another chance because I loved him.
Despite everything, I worked hard to improve myself. I stopped drinking months ago, quit smoking, improved my diet, and have genuinely tried to become a healthier person. I’ve even accepted losing friendships rather than chasing people who don’t want me in their lives.
Recently, I found hair in his bathroom that wasn’t mine and noticed he’d followed his neighbour on Instagram and liked one of her bikini photos. Given the history of cheating, I calmly asked him about it.
His response was to block me and call me a “f***ing mentally ill person.”
After that, for the first time ever, I downloaded Hinge because I thought I should finally try to move on. Ironically, he found my profile almost immediately and messaged me saying I was mentally ill, that I’d never changed, and that I’d broken my promises.
What I don’t understand is this: throughout our relationship, he repeatedly broke up with me, blocked me, and seemed happy to move on or talk to other women. Yet when I finally tried to move on after he ended things, I became the bad person.
I’m not saying I was perfect. I know I made mistakes, especially when I was struggling with alcohol. But I’ve taken responsibility for them and changed my lifestyle. I’m just wondering if I’m genuinely missing something about my own behaviour, or if I’ve been caught in a cycle where I was constantly blamed while his actions were excused.
I’d really appreciate some honest, objective opinions.

PLEASE HELP ME WITH ADVICE 🥹