r/UpfrontCheaters

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I (f40) been with my husband (m45) for 20 years. We used to have sex regularly. I always had a very high sex drive (still do) and he almost matched mine. But I’ve gone out of my way to not pressure him to have sex more often. I can get in the mood easily. If he would ever want a quickie or indicate that he would want sex it I would be down right away. He never gets turned down while I get rejected so much these last few years.

The last 8 years or so it has gotten less and less. From a few times a week today to sex once a year or every two years. I don’t know why… other than he might not find me attractive anymore. He watches porn and jerks off when he is alone, but I get no action. I don’t have a problem with him jerking off- sometimes you just want a quick release and nothing more. But I feel like I’m here in the flesh, a real person and I could offer him sex but he prefers to jerk off.

I have caught him sex chatting with other women, and I honestly do the same at times just to get off and feel some validation. But I would always prefer the real deal. He clearly has some sexdrive, just not when it includes me. And he wont tell me why he doesn’t sleep with me anymore.

I get that sexlife can get boring with time. But I still want an active sexlife. I feel like I’m to young to just accept that this is how my life is gonna be from now on. A sexless marriage. There is so much more I want to try and explore.

We sleep in different bedrooms, and there seem to be no attraction from his end. We share a house and all that stuff. There is alot of good in our relationship. I asked him to speak up if he wants out of the marriage. He says he doesn’t. He isn’t having an affair.

Honestly, the last year I’ve been tempted to just sleep around outside my marriage purely sexual. Justifying it with “I have needs” and “it’s just sex”. The thought of it doesn’t even feel wrong anymore. But what I really wish for is sex from my husband…

I’ve been in only one rls in my entire life, and while I’m that rls I was so deeply in love that i wouldn’t even feel attracted to another men’s physic. And I wonder what makes people cheat, isn’t everybody deeply in love with their partner? Is it because of morbid curiosity? Please lmk, I’m really curious

Hello everyone I am 22 M I have been in a relationship for the last 5 years but broke up last month while I was with her I had a friend let's call her (Nikki) and her friend (sarah)had a crush on me for a very long time whenever I go to parties with my friend she comes with her even if she's not invited and get drunk and try to get close with me .one day at a night party I got drunk too ,while I am hanging out with my friend in the gallery she came to me and started flirting and falling on me pretending to be drunk I was drunk but well aware of her intentions ignored her and went to room later she came in the room and started crying over her past and family problems while I was super confused about what to do. I tried to make her feel good and she fell asleep before leaving the room I put a pillow under her neck and she woke up and kissed me I was shocked and didn't know what to do left the room later and we never met and I didn't tell this to my ex now when my ex cheated on me and left me I am rethinking about that night and not sure that count as cheating or not girls please tell me

Why boys cheat always if they have loyal gf?

If your husband cheated on you with someone by texting not sleeping but texting would you forgive him after dating 12 years and being married

So for context, I (18) posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend (19) with my ex (24) and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend (19) in his room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him. I'm not good as measuring by eye so I think my ex is abt 8-9 inches, my friend is abt 7 inches, and my bf is 4 inches.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

Just want to start off by saying please no comments about how the best revenge after a breakup is moving on and just living your best life. I already know this and 100% plan on doing that, after the revenge.

We've been dating for over 3 years and i've caught him cheating many times and i just had enough now. My mental health has worsened more and more every time i find out he did it again. Why did i stay with him so far? Because i genuinely have no one else and i know people always say it's better to be alone than someone bad but it's not the same for everyone, some can't do that easily. I'm detaching myself from him over time and that's what works for me best. We're long distance so I need good ideas that i could do over the phone ideally.

For context, we both turned 18 recently. We were together for 9 months. Before we got together, ive heard about him being a player from a mutual friend, but I still decided to give him a chance. We lived in different cities, 20/30 minutes by car, but I moved to his city about a month ago. We were both really excited and we finally wont be long distance.

I met a group of girls in my now city that I like a lot. Yesterday, one of them called me and showed me another girls phone; they had been talking for 3/4 months and even met up, and I feel sick even thinking about what happened. I met him, told him, and we broke up. Today, I found out even more. He made out with a girl he told me was his cousin, and another one that was his ex. Im sure ill find out even more soon and it shatters me.

He was the first guy I slept with, and from what he told me, I was his first too. Im not sure if I even believe that anymore. We stayed skin to skin for hours, and talked about everything. Was it not that serious fot him?

Even tho people were telling me hes a player, I refused to believe. He constantly posted me, gave me two gold bracelets, a perfume I really wanted and more. I dont think you do that for a person you dont care about. I had his location and access to his phone anytime I wanted, but I never checked it. I believe a relationship should be built by trust and respect, and I dont want to control my boyfriend. He thought that because I lived in a smaller town, id never find out.

I feel like I just met a completely different side of him, and I dont know what to do and how to feel. Im angry, disappointed and sad. How can a person fake all those moments and memories he had? We talked everyday, and met up nearly everyday.
How can some people do that? He showed me he loved me so many times by things he did, and now I dont think that was real. We are also classmates, and will be for two more years.

I want to understand why he did that and how can I get over this, advice would be appreciated, thanks!

Hypothetical: If you plan to cheat on your partner; where is the best places to go and not get caught?

Can someone pls seduce my bf and play him to prove he would cheat again?? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😩 I need actual evidence bc he thinks he can gaslight me and I just need the confirmation im right in leaving or he always talks me back 😭😭💗

We’ve been together for 3 years and a half. He always was so amazing, kind, considerate like honestly anything you could ask for in a man…or at least I thought so.
I graduated high school and to celebrate we organized a trip together to japan ( for context we live in Switzerland and we have been planning for over 6months)
It’s our second day here and he opened instagram but when he did I saw a girl in his dms so he let me take his phone which I find crazy and when I opened it tons of messages. He calls her my love or cutesie nicknames like that, he asked for pics of her wearing lingerie even though she did not send any. What’s crazy is that she knows he has a girlfriend and they even played on that. He told her if I didn’t exist he would jump her and she keeps saying she is jealous of me and he tells her they can also go on a trip together. They talk about sex and his dick and showers he tells her he desires her and likes her. It’s also more than just sexual cause they tell each other they will always be there for one another and they talk about how it would be if I didn’t not exist. He tells her when he is not feeling well and vice-versa. They never met each other in person though and she lives miles away from him. They met on a game I showed him. From what I gathered it’s been very heavy sexual stuff for a couple weeks but they have been talking for at least a month. It’s true that I have been a bit distant with him because I was going through finals ( that’s about when he started talking to her I think) but yeah.
I confronted him. All he has to say is that to him it means nothing, that he would never act on anything that if she had sent him nudes he would have blocked and that this whole entire thing was to boost his self esteem.
The worst part is that after I have to spend hours reassuring him when I go to parties or when I hang out with friends and there’s a guy whilst he goes and does that.
I told him to go find a hotel for tonight and am currently waiting for him to go to ours and get his stuff.
I never saw it coming. He seems so entirely different from the others.
My whole entire being wants to go back to him. I want so badly to forgive him or just forget about it shove it down and have a lovely trip. I want that so so so badly and I know if I see him again tonight i won’t be able to fight that urge anymore.

I have two options:
Go back to him somehow and enjoy the trip in his warm embrace or cut off all ties and finish this trip solo. ( he will leave or find other hotels but all the hotels we booked together are mine to sleep in btw I still have 17 days before my flight back)

I can try and find a flight now but that would cost so so much and even though that would be incredibly comforting to be home I would miss out on my amazing grad trip to Japan that I worked my ass off to plan.

All this just happened a couple hours ago but all I know is that I feel so incredibly alone. He’s been my best friend for so long I can’t imagine a life without him.

I need help I am completely lost as to what to do.
And yes he is my first boyfriend.
How do I navigate this?
Did you ever go back to your partner even though he cheated? How was it? I love him so much still, with every fiber of my being I don’t know if I can do this.
I mean we are all humans right? We make mistakes and learn from them once confronted with the consequences…he swore he would do better. He blocked her and she told him to stop texting her.
The time difference from home is too big for me to be able to talk to anyone I know…except him.
Can’t we work through this…?

My friend was over the other night and he ended up cuddling me. But I didn’t stop him. He used to be in love with me, but in May he started seeing this other girl. Is this cheating, or am I reading too much into it?

You know I think embark is allowing this cheating stuff to happen, since they said they're we gonna just work on the game every 6 months,

But then cheats get crazier later on.. didn't that sound coincidental or premeditated?? Like is this their excuse? To find bugs in the game, they the developers themselves to not work on any new content.

I think these cheats are from the developers themselves because if there was actual cheats, they would've started a month since the first game came out because that would be more unethical than a year later where cheats are finally coming along g around the same time the developers are taking a break

My boyfriend and I (both 23) have had a relationship since the last of 2023. We were in our first year of college back then. In 2025, we had our admission and in january he got into (X) university. There he became friends with a girl. He did not tell me about this friendship. I found out about it on my own. Since then I've always had a negative gut feeling about her. Then in march they both got into DU so naturally they transferred here, but in different departments. In August of that year, another friend of mine from his uni told me that my boyfriend and that girl hang out a lot. I communicated with my boyfriend that I'm not comfortable with this friendship. He cut her off, from socials and real life. During this cut off period that girl shared a post of my boyfriend from her account. The girl knew that we had issues in our relationship because of her. Cut to october she asked my boyfriend if I could 'allow' them to have their friendship. I said in socials they could be added (i was dumb ik). I specifically told my boyfriend to not talk to her or be with her alone. April 2026, one of my friends sent me a video. My boyfriend was with this girl in a cafe. He was rubbing her hands, patting her cheeks and apparently dropped her off on his bike. I confronted my boyfriend about it immediately and he said the girl called him, said she was in a bad state and he just went to comfort her.

I broke up with ever since then. To me, this is cheating and my gut feeling turned out to be right. But some people in my life are confidently telling me this is not cheating I'm being overly harsh and that I should give him another chance. Should I?

This was not a mutual breakup. It was very sudden and against my wish. Naturally I'm very upset and unable to move on. People who faced a similar situation, can you please help?

(I would also like to say in these three years of our relationship, I was always treated right. We had a very good relationship. I was loved. This is the only issue I had.)

Hello everyone, I am a cheater. Yes you heard it correctly. I cheated on my long distance girlfriend with her best friend. I cheated on the smartest prettiest most amazing woman I have ever met. Even during the act I still loved her. We even had a massive fight 3 days prior to the incident and we called it quits, but I made up with her...get this.... on text, 30 MINUTES BEFORE CHEATING WITH HER BEST FRIEND. I don't know what I was on yesterday (that is when it happened) I was both drunk and high, and I was very bitter at her leaving me over a fight. I am not excusing it im just explaining the rationale of how a loser narcissistic high on substances thinks. I don't deserve her and I am in so much pain. I read here that you guys think the cheater gets to move on and just live with the fact that they are a jerk but the soul crushing core rotting sadness I am feeling begs to say otherwise. Its okay. I think I deserve that too. I never thought I would ever be the kind of person to cheat, heck even I got cheated on before I know how it feels how the fuck did I get here. I dont deserve her back, I dont even know if I deserve to live normally after this. But is there a way forward? It feels like having her back is wrong and letting her go is also wrong. Everything feels wrong. How can I fix myself? I think I need help very bad. This incident was the result of accumulation of all of the things I have always overlooked about myself saying it is not that big of a deal from my ego to my substance abuse to my bitterness towards her to our unresolved fights to etc etc etc, she was supposed to come to my country at the end of august but she said she isnt coming anymore understandably. Of course I want to sit on this for a week at least to digest what happens but I need to ask:

Is there a way forward with her? I still love her, even in my twisted parts i love her, curse me all u want yell at me all u want i deserve every single hate u guys will throw my way

How can I fix myself? Even if it doesnt work out I dont wanna do this to another woman I dont want this to ever happen again because i know what they say once a cheater always a cheater is it doomed?

Will she be okay? I hope she is. I dont deserve the sadness she will feel or how she will hate love and relationships from now on. I would love to tell her to not weep over a cockroach.

Please I will take any input any insult any advice anything. And thank you for reading this.

TL;DR: Girlfriend was in a relationship with me and another man for 6 months. Was with a woman for roughly 6 months. I had happened to accidentally leave my phone sitting unlocked somewhere while I was busy doing something else at work and this girl put her information in it without me knowing. I thought she was attractive so I decided to add her back and we conversed for a couple months. I had gotten to know her very well and she showed extreme interest in me. So I decided to ask her to my girlfriend. We had a good relationship she was a bit inconsistent with communication and things but we had wonderful conversations of our future, and she always told me how much she loved me and made sure I always knew I was cared for and appreciated and we always had a great time when we spent time together and the chemistry was there. She talked about wanting to have kids one day and having a house together amongst other things. And then one day by a friend who knows the other guys cousin it came out that she had been in full blown relationships with me and this other guy the entire time and she scrambled to get me on the phone to tell me she cheated.

She expressed that she wanted me more than him but didn’t want to hurt him, and said all sorts of things on the phone that night. basically she wanted to have us both and I was completely unwilling to go along with that but by the looks of it if I would’ve continued to play my role and be a part of this she would’ve continued with it. I told her I would tell her other boyfriend what she did and she really didn’t want me to. So I ended up telling him and I received messages from him of her calling me names for that and other nonsense the next day because she went right back to him to try and resolve things the day after. I then had a final conversation with her today and she tells me that she loves him and is gonna choose him every time. In my mind I believe that she really wanted me but she understands and know that this other guy is gullible / naive and will forgive her for her mistake which she already said he did, meanwhile I’ve made it very clear that the relationship is done and if she says anything further to me I will tell her boyfriend what she says so now she’s trying to flip the script like she doesn’t want me because she already knows I wouldn’t put up with this or forgive her and I will tell her boyfriend if she continues to show interest in me or keep things going with me. What do you guys think do you think I’m right or was everything a lie and how do I get over this. It hurts because I mind my business I don’t bother everybody and this woman came into my life and disturbed my peace for seemingly no reason it’s hard to trust anything anybody says anymore but I’m grateful for the lesson I was able to learn.