Seeing yourself through an outside lens is really hard but there should be ways to become better at it.
As someone who deeply cares about personal growth, I always find it difficult to know my true self and define my core characteristics, which parts of me needs improvement thay I might not be seeing.
Because looking at yourself with complete objectivity is probably impossible even if you are 100% sure you are being objective, your definition of "objective" is inherently shaped by your own subjective lens.
To bypass this (as much as I can), I’ve been searching for ways to view myself through an outside lens, and asking this question to myself really helped:
“If you wrote a book detailing every single chapter of your life: Every event, every internal thought, and every minute detail, what would the readers think of you? What kind of person would they assume you are, and what would they take away from your story?”
I believe every single person on earth have unique traits that others would genuinely admire. It isn't about having a perfect life, being wealthy, or being a genius. We all have at least one quality that would make someone else think, “That is remarkable. I want to learn how to do that.”
When I first asked myself this question, the answers didn't exactly satisfy me. I realized my readers would learn how to ignore their finances, how to disregard outcomes while chasing immediate pleasures, and how being reckless can sometimes feel less draining. These traits are completely the opposite to the person I actively try to be. But seeing that gave me a completely new angle on exactly which parts of myself need improvement.
While I don't claim this method is a universal cure-all, I really think it’s worth to test.
So, ask yourself the same thing: “What would other people learn from me if my life became a book?”
The answer might just reveal a side of yourself you’ve been completely overlooking. I’d love to hear your answers to that same question.