u/DefNotLix

So, I love my boyfriend. we’ve been together for over half a year now, and he really is great. The thing is, there’s some things that he just can’t provide even if he wanted to and I’ve been overlooking my bare minimum values over that. Firstly, he’s really busy with really strict parents, so he literally doesn’t text me at all until his parents go to sleep, so we only talk after 10 pm. For me, I value a relationship where I don’t have to reach out first and text first every single time, and he just can’t provide that.

Secondly, I think this is an actual issue which he could work on if he put effort but he NEVER asks me out. I have not once heard from him “hey babe want to go out somewhere after school this week?” not once. Again his parents are really strict, and he’s super busy but this is just something I value and I want my partner to ask me to hang out, and I feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when I’m the only one ever asking to hangout. I kind of also just stopped asking, and we literally can go for over 2 months without hanging out outside of school which is super upsetting when our friends who are in a relationship are always out and about and the guy always come to his girlfriend to hangout, and the guy literally asked us if we wanted to do a double date. It just shows me how much other people actually try to hangout with their SO compared to my bf.

I enjoy paying for my partner, but I also really feel appreciated when my partner sometimes covers the bill for me too. Not because I ask but he wants to, it’s all in the thought and effort. But I’ve recently realized that I’m the only one covering his things or whenever we go out, and he only did that twice and it was because he felt like he owed me (not because he himself wanted to) and there was one more time where I lit straight up told him “I don’t have my card” so he payed, but he wouldn’t have on his own. like I don’t care about money, it’s all in the thought of it and him actually wanting to do something for me, and if you can’t cover a 5 dollar ice cream then like i don’t know.. and even if he wanted to, he’s kind of broke and that’s expected of teenagers, it’s just a 5 dollar ice cream one a month would be nice when im spending over 20 dollars on him every month yk🥹

lastly, he breaks down whenever I try to communicate abt stuff and it’s been really bothering me because it makes me feel like I have to feel, bad over expressing myself. Like I lit told him how I don’t appreciate when he makes mean jokes about me, and he started crying and apologized.

I don’t think any of these things are going to change even if I try, so I’m planning to call him over a long weekend and tell him what I’ve thinking. I genuinely still really love him and we’re on really good terms and he’s really kind and sweet but I just can’t overlook these things in my relationship and I just think that we might be better off as friends? What do you guys think, should I give him a chance to fix this and talk about how we can meet in the middle or should I just break up..

also please tell me if maybe my expectations are unrealistic, but for me personally, a quick text throughout the day to see how I’m doing, him asking me if I wanna hangout with him outside of school once a month, being able to have a proper conversation without him breaking down over smth as simple as me asking him not to make mean jokes abt me, and covering a meal on occasion coming from both ends just doesn’t sound that crazy to me, I feel like these are bare minimums (please do humble me if it’s not!!)

so my bf is very emotional and has the tendency to shut whenever I try to communicate with him about my needs or smth he does that I don’t like. For example, he tends to make “jokes” sometime that are just right out mean comments towards me. I gently told him yesterday that I don’t appreciate it and would like it if he was more mindful of what he says towards me. (guys don’t flame him, I know for a fact that he loves me a lot and didnt actually mean to hurt me when he said those rude comments)

anyways, I would’ve been happy with a “oh I’m sorry babe I didn’t know you felt like that, I’ll stop from now on” but he once again said sorry and then shut down and started to cry. The thing is, I do not mind if he cries over things, I’m a huge crybaby myself, but in things like these it just makes me feel like I have to feel sorry for letting him know how I feel. I’ve started avoiding communicating with him because of this, and I feel like I cant talk to him about this problem cuz he’ll just shut down again.

idk what to do because there’s actually bigger issues I’ve been wanting to talk to him about that I’m worried will lead to a breakup if I don’t talk, but I know he’ll just shut down again

so my bf is very emotional and has the tendency to shut whenever I try to communicate with him about my needs or smth he does that I don’t like. For example, he tends to make “jokes” sometime that are just right out mean comments towards me. I gently told him yesterday that I don’t appreciate it and would like it if he was more mindful of what he says towards me. (guys don’t flame him, I know for a fact that he loves me a lot and didnt actually mean to hurt me when he said those rude comments)

anyways, I would’ve been happy with a “oh I’m sorry babe I didn’t know you felt like that, I’ll stop from now on” but he once again said sorry and then shut down and started to cry. The thing is, I do not mind if he cries over things, I’m a huge crybaby myself, but in things like these it just makes me feel like I have to feel sorry for letting him know how I feel. I’ve started avoiding communicating with him because of this, and I feel like I cant talk to him about this problem cuz he’ll just shut down again.

idk what to do because there’s actually bigger issues I’ve been wanting to talk to him about that I’m worried will lead to a breakup if I don’t talk, but I know he’ll just shut down again

So, in my English class we don’t have that many assignments so every single grade you get is pretty important. I didn’t listen to the teacher properly when she was talking about peer assessments, but in my previous classes they weren’t worth any marks, just like a reflection thingy. well…. I was wrong, this assessment was graded. One of the people in my table didnt realllyyy participate in the group discussion that much, so I didn’t give him a good score. (like 10/12) and I feel so bad 😭😭😭 he’s not a bad guy, he actually read the whole book and always had his assignments done, I think he’s just quiet so he didn’t speak much. If I knew this would affect his grade I wouldve given him a 12/12 what the heck I feel so bad 😭😭🙏

(btw i go to a stem school so 83% is considered pretty bad, please don’t flame me)

oh btw 4 other ppl assessed him too so it shouldnt be that bad but still he could’ve gotten like a 95%+ but now he def won’t 😭😭😭

So it’s kind of messy but my mom emotionally cheated on my dad with this other guy. She told me all about him but after dad found out she never spoke of him again. they went to couples counselling and everything, and my parents decided to stay together.

note, my mom is a horrible person who manipulated my dad and recently started threatening to divorce him at every small thing she didn’t like. She also talks trash abt everyone behind their backs, including my dad!? He loves her a lot and doesn’t want to lose her even if she cheated, and even though I’m against this, it’s his life and his final decision. He also knows my opinion abt the whole situation. Also, I’ve noticed that whenever he’s not around her, he’s much much happier, so I really want them to divorce for my dad’s happiness and peace.

recently I started noticing in my car screen that notifications were popping up with a specific (very unique) name when my mom was driving, and I couldn’t quite remember exactly the name of the cheating guy, but I’m pretty sure it is him. I also often wake up early and I heard her coming back home at 5 am last week, and she specifically kept it a secret from dad.

I don’t know if I should tell him or not because what if she wasn’t actually cheating that morning, and I just accused her of smth like that, and what if that name isn’t act the guy she cheated with..? I have very high suspicion (like 70%) but at the same time what if it really isn't him and she’s not cheating 😭

I went on a picnic two days ago and there were those swings where both people sit on the opposite sides and rock eachother, and if one person is heavier they pull their part down and the other person is stuck in the air.

I am short (5’1) and weigh slightly less than 100lbs (probably a bit more since i ate lots b4 going on the swing), my boyfriend on the other is significantly taller than me and is pretty skinny but he’s not a stick (he has some lean muscle due to sports) and he weighs around 120 lbs. (B4 you say we weigh very little, we are teenagers)

anyways, i know I am pretty skinny. I have always been confident in my body, and I get lots of compliments about my body (I play sports too btw). But now I have been getting insecure because I LITERALLY PULLED THE SWING DOWN. HE WAS IN THE AIR. either he’s intentionally held the swing up with his legs to make me feel heavy, or somehow I actually pulled the swing down even though I weight approximately 20 lbs less than him. He then also proceeded to tell me “you’re heavy” which was very upsetting, and now I can’t get this out of my head.

please help guys, is there any other explanation? Did he lie about his weight, because I just checked today and I’m still under 100 lbs..

I went on a picnic two days ago and there were those swings where both people sit on the opposite sides and rock eachother, and if one person is heavier they pull their part down and the other person is stuck in the air.

I am short (5’1) and weigh slightly less than 100lbs (probably a bit more since i ate lots b4 going on the swing), my boyfriend on the other is significantly taller than me and is pretty skinny but he’s not a stick (he has some lean muscle due to sports) and he weighs around 120 lbs. (B4 you say we weigh very little, we are teenagers)

anyways, i know I am pretty skinny. I have always been confident in my body, and I get lots of compliments about my lean body (I play sports too btw). But now I have been getting insecure because I LITERALLY PULLED THE SWING DOWN. HE WAS IN THE AIR. either he’s intentionally held the swing up with his legs to make me feel heavy, or somehow I actually pulled the swing down even though I weight approximately 20 lbs less than him. He then also proceeded to tell me “you’re heavy” which was very upsetting, and now I can’t get this out of my head.

please help guys, is there any other explanation? Did he lie about his weight, because I just checked today and I’m still under 100 lbs..

so…. I feel like my boyfriend’s mom has been acting a little weird towards me but my boyfriend says she likes me, so I need your guy’s advice!

here are some things:

- she hates when my bf texts me, like he can only talk to me before bed when his parents are asleep..? she says it’s distracting him but like I’m not asking for hour long conversations and he texts his friends all the time and plays games online w them

- when she was dropping me off after a date, my parents asked if my boyfriend and his mom wanted to step in for a bit for tea. btw they live pretty far from my house, so my parents would feel really bad if she drove all the way here and we didn’t even let them in the house. (slavic household, so ofc we’d invite them in and get some food as it’s a common gesture of respect and hospitality ) she did not want to come in at all!!! I do kind of understand that tho since it’s new people, ofc it’d be a bit awkward so it’s kind of understandable

- we are planning to go on a picnic date (bf and I) and she was really against it and she only allowed it when he lied abt it being a group of ppl and not just us two. her reasoning was that she doesnt know what we’ll get up to on our own at a picnic. ITS A PICNIC. it’s a public OPEN arewith tons of people around, what do you meannn😭😭

- lastly, the biggest thing i was weirded out by. she was upset at my bf since i knew his address. (I surprised him with a little treat by sending him Uber Eats) ive literally been dating him for over half a year why would it be weird or bad abt me knowing his address… they literally came to my house alr.. she said “what if you guys breakup and she starts stalking you”

first of all, I understand that yes we might break up in the future, we are teens after all. but what kind of mindset is that? what does she think of me that she thinks I’ll start stalking him😭😭😭 I literally live so far away, why would I ever stalk him (like is that how she views me, as some girl who will start stalking people if I break up with them?!)

idk it’s just such a weird mindset to have imo..

what do you guys think, are these reasonable, or does she not like me based of how she reacts and views me

So, in my club im being moved up to comp pretty soon. Some of my other teammates who moved from pre comp to comp have just told me some pretty horrible things about whats happening in the comp scene. Apperantly, all the really skilled players are really fake and horrible and I got to experience it first hand when I played at my school tournament.

There were a couple of these players at the tournament and I thought it’d be a good idea to talk to them and get to know them since we’ll be training together soon. When my friend (already knew them but goes to a diff club) asked if they wanted to meet with me for a sec just to say hi and introduce ourselves, they said no because my skill level was too low and that they don’t want to be friends with people who aren’t good at badminton. Mind you, I never expected them to want to play with me, I just wanted to be cordial. they really think they’re skill in a sport makes them too good to be nice human beings and just be acquaintances. (Not even friends or anything)

anyways, I can’t look at them the same anymore. my friends who moved up told me how all the newer comp people just avoid them and train on diff days but I don’t think that’s possible since im almost sure that my schedule only works on the days that all the skilled comp players train on. Plus i cant stop thinking about how when I do improve and they might be willing for me to play, my image of them is already ruined and it would still be awkward since I don’t like these people anymore.

So, what is your guy’s advice, I really don’t know what’s the right thing to do here. Do I pretend I don’t know and just act nice in front of them, or do I try to avoid them, or are there other ways to go about it