u/Defiant-Cut-2396

Hey guys! Today marks Unhelpful Observer's third week, and the fun (the actual kind, not the standard DF kind) just keeps going! (Side note, we are still looking for a 7th person to take over Fridays. If you're interested, drop a comment!)

As of this post, the current game date is Limestone 15th, 258. 3 years in one week is fairly respectable, right? And nobody can say they've been boring ones, either. In 255 we had our first siege show up while yours truly was running the show. The damn greenskins brought a siege ram and an overabundance of pikemen for some reason. (Maybe they're too scared to fight us face-to-beard?)

They toppled all our outside shops, killed a captive Giantess we had, and using the ram, smashed clean through our walls before I mustered up the military to give them a drubbing. FInal losses were only about three citizens, but still not my finest hour. Also of note was that by this point we were sitting at a population of 173 citizens, which feels like an absolutely INSANE growth rate.

Not mentioned in the last update was that we'd had a minor vampire problem, which we eventually solved by kicking the bloodsucker out on his ass and then siccing the military on him before he left the fortress grounds. Dwarven justice at its finest!

In 256, we had another siege show up, this time with cave trolls. Thankfully, our player for that day (Monday) was a bit more on the ball than I was, and called out the guard promptly. Said guard, led by Niguém, proceeded to throw the invaders back and trample on them with extreme prejudice. Niguém personally slew at least a dozen goblins and several cave trolls.

After the fighting, he named his sword "Trammel Shattered" and his shield "Page Weight". Honestly my personal takeaway from that was that Niguém is now going to be the subject of horror stories that goblins tell each other on dark nights. While we were all in awe of Niguém's badassery, on other matters, the Council of Overseers was...less united, shall we say.

The issue in question happened to be none other than our resident necromancer, who got shuffled out of captivity and back in between two different tenures. The debate is still ongoing at this point, but I think we've agreed not to just kill her. Adamantine extraction has begun in earnest, as have our citizen's poaching of it to make stupid projects. It's not all stupid, mind, one dwarf made an adamantine mace!

The story continues, and we'll be back with another update next week. Until then, keep Observing and stay Unhelpful!

Hey guys! So it's been almost two weeks since Unhelpful Observer started running, and I've got a lot to share with everyone! (Side note, we are still looking for a 7th person to take over Fridays. If you're interested, drop a comment!)

As of the time of this post, it's 14 Granite, 255, which means we've covered just over 5 years in two weeks! And they've certainly been some busy years. (I would include pictures with this, but the doc we stored our summaries in is being...uncooperative. Someone outta give it a hammering.)

We started the initial years of the fortress strong, with the discovery of both the magma sea, flux layers for steel manufacturing, and 3 adamantine spires!!! Sadly, the discovery of the spires lost us two brave dwarves.

Also set up was waterwheel power via a floodgate-controlled runoff from the main river, along with magma industry. We explored the caverns and set up a barrier wall to keep out any...unwanted guests. A good thing, as it happens, since over the next 4 years, we'd receive not one, not two, but three Forgotten Beasts!

Later in 253, we established a proper masoleum, and lost a dwarven child who went crazy due to an unmet need during a mood and had to be put down. More bedrooms were laid out to keep up with our growing population, and the first soap (The true mark of fortress maturity, in my humble opinion) was made.

Trade also boomed as well! Trading caravans from far and wide flow in and out of our trade depot like a river. Delegations to nearby settlements to demand tribute have unfortunately been rejected, but perhaps they will be brough to heel at a later point.

In fact, while trading with the Elves (filthy tree-shaggers that they are) one of our overseers discovered a long lost Dwarven artifact ring and built a special vault for it and our other artifacts....which the ring was promptly stolen out of by a Kobold. Dwarfs being what we are, the council of overseers decided to lie to everybody about it and set up a fake ring in the vault instead.

In 254, we had a unwelcome visit from a were-iguana child, Umci Thuthuista. One of the dwarven children nearby then proceeded to get in a fight with the fiend, and while she didn't kill the beast, she bloodied it enough and held her own long enough for a human spearman to deal the killing blow. Unfortunately, two citizens were bitten, and lacking holding cells, they were summarily executed to keep the infection from spreading with the next full moon.

Aside from that, not much else of note has occured besides the fact that the fort apparently somehow gained a Legendary Necromancer Chef, who has been locked in a sealed chamber beneath a temple for the fort's security. Updates will continue, but until then, keep Observing and stay Unhelpful!

Unhelpful Observer - Week 3