Need Life Advice
Hello im S i am an adult Malay male who was adopted by a very well off,religious and connected family in BN,as a child i was abused(sitting on the floor in the kitchen instead of eating at the dinner table,not allowed to eat certain things,was starved for days on end,left outside for days and nights,beaten)i was sent to live with my grandparents place at an early age after living a few years with my adopted parents.
during mid-high school i was constantly compared to my elder sisters and made to feel like a piece of shit compared to them,my whole life i was just made to feel like a burden.
growing up i made friends with some of the adopted kids from RF and realized that its a very common thing for adopted kids to be mistreated(the ones that arent the favourite ones atleast)
anyways sorry for the long intro,basically i followed everything my family has asked me to (education, the way i dress,how i present myself etc) i couldnt go to uni or do anything life related as early as everyone else due to needing to care for my grandma in her old age.
i have lost so much of in the past year and in my life in general and i sacrificed so much for the family that has done nothing but constantly judge me,i think i want to CS publicly so they can see what shit human beings they are.
tell me what i can do? can't move out because no job or money , cant live in a car because i don't have a car , can't find a job after i applied for so many even if i get a job i have no reliable transport.
i feel so behind in life my friends are getting married , have good jobs while im here just slowly withering away
any life advice at this point is appreciated thank you