u/DelboyTrigger

▲ 376 r/AntiJokes

A man finds a magic lamp on the beach.

He rubs it, and a genie appears.
"I will grant you three wishes," the genie says, "but be warned: whatever you wish for, your worst enemy will receive double."
The man thinks for a moment and says, "For my first wish, I want ten million dollars."
"Granted," the genie replies. "But your worst enemy now has twenty million."
"For my second wish, I want a sprawling mansion in Malibu."
"Granted. But your worst enemy now has two sprawling mansions in Malibu."
The man smiles devilishly. "For my third wish... I want you to beat me half to death."
The genie nods. He then beats the man severely, causing multiple compound fractures, a ruptured spleen, and a severe traumatic brain injury.
His worst enemy, receiving a physical assault mathematically calculated to be exactly twice as severe, dies instantly of massive internal hemorrhaging.
The man spends eight months in a medically induced coma. Upon waking, he is left with profound neurological deficits, requires a feeding tube, and needs round-the-clock care for the remainder of his life. His ongoing medical expenses quickly deplete his ten million dollars, and his Malibu mansion is seized by the bank to cover outstanding debts.
Meanwhile, his enemy's vast estate—including the twenty million dollars and both Malibu properties—passes quietly to his grieving widow and three young children, who use the wealth to establish a highly respected philanthropic foundation in his memory

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u/DelboyTrigger — 7 days ago