I’m (M26) soon to be engaged (F21) but in love with someone else (F23)
It’s a long story but I’m desperate for advice and to confess. I have been in a loving, dutiful relationship with the sweet girl A (F21) for nearly two years now. Prior to this relationship, I was in love with girl B (F23). I had met girl B in college and worked on many like-interest, extracurricular projects over the course of ten months. Our relationship has always been one of incredible, witty banter and, when we were alone, filled with sexual undertones. She is incredibly intelligent, creative, and beautiful. A dream. However, she seemed to distance herself a little after a while. Eventually, I asked her if she would have dinner with me, a Hail Mary invitation to which she did not respond. In the time following, I met Girl A and we struck up a constant and engaging conversation every day for a week. I didn’t want to commit to anything, however, until I had gotten an answer from Girl B. When I asked her for an answer, she later admitted she didn’t know my intentions behind my request, but she respectfully declined. I then could commit fully to Girl A. We started dating and have had a long relationship ever since. We are both good friends with Girl B but distanced a little when she entered a relationship last spring. Everything has changed since she broke up with her boyfriend. In the last two months, we have seen significantly more of each other. She has participated in friend hang outs which have occasionally fallen in attendance to just the two of us. In our hangouts I have unfortunately fallen right back in love with Girl B. It’s disrupting my sleep because she is in my dreams every night. I am madly in love with her and I’m worried she feels the same. I was the first person she told about the breakup and ever since, we’ve fallen to the heightened habits of our old banter. Girl A has been out of town on work and will be for three months and this could be a factor for my change. She is a beautiful girl and the sweetest person I know, but there’s is an age gap, social gap, and culture shock between the two of us. For girl B everything comes easy. For Girl A I have to explain myself in all lines. I still love her and do not want to break her heart. She doesn’t deserve that. I’m stressed beyond belief because I’m so in love with Girl B but care deeply for Girl A. What do you think I should do?