AITAH for refusing to invite my brother to my wedding despite family pressure?
I (24F) am 19 days away from my wedding! My brother (39M) and I have had tension and conflict for about an entire year now. I decided months ago, prior to invites going out, that he would not be invited because of a series of ongoing events, including the way he treats his children, takes advantage of my parents, has no accountability for his actions, cheated on his wife, screamed in my face... among other things. I am the only one in my family who has cut him off, I don't speak to him, pretty much avoid him if we happen to be at the same party, and generally just pretend he doesn't exist.
I have been pretty open with my family and friends that he was not invited and that my decision was final. My future husband doesn't fully agree with me but also sees where I am coming from and is standing by me in my decision.
I faced a bit of backlash from extended family, aunts, uncles, grandmother. But it was never enough to bother me, mainly just little comments here and there that he should be invited and I will change my mind. I was and am comfortable about my decision and what it meant for our relationship.
Everyone RSVP'd yes, and I thought it was just accepted by everyone else and wasn't going to affect the day.
Late last night, my uncle came over and very angrily told me that he is NOT coming to my wedding since my brother won't be there. He told me he hates to do it BUT will be encouraging my other family members to also not attend. He says that our family should be there for family. He cannot consider me family for not inviting my brother. He also said that I am hurting my parents, how do I think they would feel with one of their kids not being there.
I did say that I am sorry, but the day is about me and my future husband, our future, our love, and being surrounded by people we want to be there. I said the day is not about *brother* or *uncle*. I am not changing my mind.
I feel blindsided especially this close to the wedding, when my numbers are final, my seating chart is final. I am days away from paying the final invoices for the plate count. I know that just because he says it doesn't mean that other people won't come, but I am wallowing in this pity of not being important enough on my own. And that my uncle thinks he can threaten me and make me do something I do not want to.
AITAH for refusing to invite my brother even though it's upsetting some family members, and may mean some of my family will be choosing not to attend?