u/Delicious_Count9331

i see a bunch of people running NOTCH all of the time just to like, recolor and add some "simmery blur" to a live IMAG feed. in many cases, Resolume is certainly capable of doing whatever NOTCH is being used for. im just curious, what is the reasoning behind reaching for another piece of software (that also needs a dongle lmao) instead of just building the look in Resolume ? (no shade, literally just curious)

i have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, now. for some background:

i am a christian man. was raised sudo-episcipalian / non-denom but have been returning back to traditional catholicism over the last couple of years.

my girlfriend is a few years younger than i am. she struggled with addiction in her late teens, and really found hope and comfort in the AA program, of which she is still an active member today, even though she is going on 3 years of sobriety (praise God !) it is my understanding that AA is sort of derived from Christianity, but doesn't credit/mention Christ and his teachings specifically.

throughout our relationship, her and i have had plenty of theological conversations. i studied religion in college, as it has always been a fascination of mine, so i often enjoy discussing it, or more so, watching YouTube videos/podcast that revolve around discussing Christian theology.

my girlfriend has always been warm and supporting of my faith. her family is from Rome and whenever we go to visit, she accompanies me to all of the religious sights i like to visit. one time, last year at the vatican i lost her for a bit and when i found her, she was kneeling in prayer at one of the altars there, having been moved emotionally to the point of tears. it seems clear to me that perhaps the Holy Spirit is already working in her, but... if i ever share something with her that she happens to interpret as me "trying to convert her", she has an immediate apprehensive and negative reaction.

i myself, in my younger years (after years of forced Christian education), had a similar reaction when my Dad, specifically, would try to engage me about things related to faith. it wasn't until i started to recognize the actual work of the Holy Spirit in my life, that i finally became comfortable with it. that is all to say, i am totally familiar with both the feelings she is having and the subsequent reaction that follows. here is my question, though:

there have been 2 times where theological discussion/"debate" really seemed to drive an emotional wedge between us. other than those two times, there is really nothing else that we have ever had any point of contention on. we have been blessed with a relationship that is overall, mostly peaceful and loving; rarely every having a fight, and if so it amounts to nothing more than some bickering.

the first of these tough theological discussions organically happened about 6-months ago. we were discussing something and she expressed some confusion as to why believing in Christ is necessary to get to heaven. i explained her the theology about how following the old covenant used to be the requirement, until Christ came in fulfilling that covenant and establishing a new one, that is, "whoever believes in [Him] shall not perish but have ever lasting life." after hearing what i had to say, she came to the conclusion that my faith dictates that she (my perspective wife and i, her perspective husband) will not be able to be with me for eternity, UNLESS she converts. which, as mentioned before, lead her to believe that i am actively trying to convert her, when that is simply not just the case. i am unsure exactly how we moved through to a resolution in that debate, but we did.

the other night, we were having a similar discussion in regards to a TikTok i sent her that had a theological angle to it, to which she didn't respond. i had sent that to her while she was at work, so i figured she didn't see it. when she got home, she seemed frustrated. i addressed it as i normally did, and i was instantly met with fierce hostility, sighting specifically the TikTok i sent her. she stated that the "faith-line" was being "crossed again" and that it was once again, making her uncomfortable.

this startled me because, in between our little theological beef 6 months or so ago and this instance that happened the other night, as i said before, i found her in the vatican crying in prayer, a signal to me that that Holy Spirit was working in her. however, i can't understate the amount of hatred she had in her tone when expressing her feelings about a boundary being crossed. i couldn't help but feel like that hatred/disgust was not only in regards to annoyance with someone compelling you to convert (again, a feeling that is very valid and familiar to me), but that is was in regards to Christianity itself. and that just hit me like a ton of brick. she didn't say anything explicitly condemning Christ/Christianity, but she expressed anger about "organized religion" in a way that felt deeply indirectly directed at me and my faith. so my question is:

would Christ want me to end the relationship over something like this ? or would He encourage me to have faith that the Holy Spirit has been, and will continue to work in her heart as time goes on ? if the Christian faith permits marrying someone who is still debating their own personal theology, should something tragic happen (God forbid), does God offer any grace to the partner of lifelong devoted believer ?

this is going to be my wife. this is the woman i want to marry. i have often attributed our relationship to a gift from God, as she came to me at a point in my life at a time and in ways that would normally make finding a companion like her nearly impossible. i thank God everyday that i found the love of my life in her, someone who is quite literally my best friend. it really is a blessing. on the other hand, though, there is arguably nothing more important to me in my life than my relationship with Christ, and i certainly can't imagine marrying someone who hates Him. again, she has never disrespected or demeaned Christ, nor been critical of Him as an individual, so. perhaps this is just a step in her journey towards Christ ? but at the same time, i am fearful that she may never find Christ on her own accord, and then 10-20 years down the line i end up married/raising children w/ someone who is still indifferent towards my faith.

appreciate any insight, here. also, i appreciate any advice on how to address this w/ her moving forward. and, if i am compelled by the Holy Spirit to stay by her side through this journey, i'd love to hear suggestions on the best way to do this.

thank you in advance. Christ is King !