I'm starting to feel like I'm the problem
So I've posted here a couple times as a situation that I have been going through as it developed. To cut a long story short my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me with a close friend. When confronted she chose to bully me along with said friend, deny it and gaslight me, abuse me monetarily and many other things. This lead to the breakdown of my friend group and I am now left with no close friends left.
Over the last few months I've tried to make friends and have been somewhat successful. We get along but no one wants to get close. I tried talking to a girl and it felt like it was going well for about a month. I saw behaviors in her that convinced me this was something not just friendliness. I would buy her lunch or a drink occasionally, she would move next to me in class if the seat was free and just generally talk to me amongst other things. Anyway for over a month she left the fact she has a boyfriend out. So yeah. That took the wind out of my sails. I don't blame her and I don't think she had any bad intentions but I just feel like that probably should've been said before I bought her lunch. Oh well. Yet another glimpse of hope goes away.
My therapy isn't going anywhere. It's been months upon months of notes and getting close to diagnosing me and then it changes. It's incredibly frustrating. It went from depression to anxiety to panic disorder to anorexia to PTSD. They can't make up their mind and it's driving me crazy.
So people choose to abuse me, people choose to leave me, people don't really like me, people don't want to get close to me, people don't want to be with me and people can't figure out what's wrong with me. I'm the common denominator. Does that mean I'm the problem?