I feel ashamed
Can someone talk to me or comment because there’s a lot of views and no help I posted a normal vent on Reddit about feeling like I’m wasting my life and struggling with guilt. A guy messaged me saying I reminded him of someone from his past. At first he said he was talking to me for me, but later admitted he kept chatting because I reminded him of her and started calling me by her name The conversation started fine but slowly became uncomfortable He mentioned his previous relationship had mature themes I got curious and asked him to share more Things escalated when I asked what he wanted me to call him he told me to call him a nickname starts with d He told me that that relationship was a ddl type of relationship At one point he asked me that he wants to know how my body look like I knew the age difference was significant and that this was inappropriate it was a 12 years age gap but I continued replying anyway I was drawn to the attention even though this is completely unlike me I didn’t want it to go in that direction but I had a lot of curiosity I told him I had almost no experience and was just feeling empty and desperate for attention Still he continued but he didn’t force me into anything Eventually I ended the conversation and deleted my account Now I’m filled with overwhelming guilt and self hatred I feel like I betrayed the good person I’ve always tried to be and let down my religious values I can’t stop crying and feeling deeply ashamed and dirty and also i feel like i was enjoying talking to a man that much older than me and enjoying the situation before the guilt
This was the first time I’ve ever done anything like this I just needed to vent Has anyone gone through something similar and managed to forgive themselves?