Did stimulants ruin my marriage?
My now ex was diagnosed with ADHD in 2024 and started taking Vyvanse prescribed by an online psychiatrist right around the time i got pregnant with our first kid. our relationship was already struggling and we started seeing a couples therapists but it felt like everything got really bad really fast once stimulants got involved. first she entered into a major depressive state and told me she felt suicidal. once she somewhat came out of that she decided to up her dose and eventually landed at 50mg a day. then she decided to come off her SSRI because according to her “it didn’t do anything” and that’s when things really flew off the rails. she started losing her temper so easily but the way she described it is she just couldn’t mask anymore. this eventually led to her cutting off everyone in her family and near constant fighting between us. she became extremely cold, distant, and isolated and no matter what i tried to connect with her it was like she wasn’t there. physically yes, but not emotionally. and to top things off, at some point she added Adderall IR to her regimen which already included Wellbutrin XL.
the part that really throws me off is she will not talk to me or let me talk to her about the meds even though i’ve witnessed a drastic change in her. she says it’s me trying to control her. what kills me is she used to be playful and have a sense of humor and a soft side and now she’s so cold, paranoid, and full of anger. she has all these other explanations for why her life is falling apart and mostly it’s blaming other people or external factors but she is adamant that her meds are helping her.
eventually it was all too much for me and i had to walk away. she didn’t want to be with me anymore anyway so i just really needed to stop trying. but we still have a child and need to function as co-parents.
i want to support her and believe her but at what point do i trust what i see with my own eyes?